I didn't believe it was really happening at first (like, why would it only just now manifest in my late 20s?), but after looking back over some key events (and recurring smaller ones) from my childhood, and a couple dissociative episodes the past couple days, I can't really deny it anymore.
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Figuring anything out about yourself in your 20s is pretty young. I didn’t even figure out my gender until my 30s!
The trick really is asking each other what needs are.
She does so when I need to detach from emotions or feel them in weird ways. This means she only needs to front during bdsm play and emergencies, and I can feel how much it drains us for her to do that. 🐱