My reality most days. I took this so one day I could look back and comprehend my strength in this moment. The strength to survive the unbearable. #grief #loss #survival #griefjourney
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I just read about your beautiful Diane and her sudden passing. I always followed your sanctuary and loved all the horses and animals (I have a rescue horse) but this gutted me. I’m so sad for you. This is so incredibly hard. Much love to you. What you do is a blessing on earth. You are not alone.❤️
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Your pain is our pain. Ride the waves, it’s what makes you unique!
We are together on this journey….together not alone.
I feel my ancestors with me every day🪶
B - my twin sister would have to move into my bed with me to drag me out. Would have to get me to shower and do the day. It takes time. Cry, rage, scream. But get up and do the Barnes. The Barnes miss you. They need normalcy too. ❤️💜💙😩
One of the greatest gifts you have is sitting right were you’re at. It’s called a Sanctuary for a reason. You’ve recused so many animals and now it’s your turn. If animals could talk. 🤗
I lost my husband too young to cancer 6yrs ago.
Most days I think I’m fine. Then I see something like this & I’m right back there.
The periods of grief grow fewer & farther between but they never go away.
I’m happy you had such a great love & sorry that you’re suffering that loss.
I’m so sorry. It’s harder as it recedes - the day when you could last touch & feel them - & so grief can be oddly comforting. It keeps you close. She looks like an amazing, beautiful spirit. I’m sure she somehow knows. She must. And she would ease your suffering if she could.
When screaming in agony doesn’t work anymore and all I can offer is a virtual hug.
Thank you for sharing this raw feeling 🩵
I completly grasp your strength already.
Speaking of God’s discipline, the psalmist reminds us that the sorrows we face in this life are temporary. As painful as a season may be, it is only a season. Life has twists, turns, ups, and downs, and, although we may suffer through dark nights, morning will come.
That was me the day of the Zelensky meeting. Absolute melt down. My daughter had to come over & get me down. That meeting was the most overwhelming historical moment and I have experienced Cuba missile crisis (shielded by parents) and multiple assassinations/attempts and other crises. Worse day.
It’s not fair. And it’s ok to do whatever you need to do to make through a day. No human knows what you feel .. everyone is different. All of your animals know how you feel though.. 💜💜💜💜
Grief is the emotional version of Phantom Limb Syndrome. The brain is designed to make connections but not so much in losing connections.
During grieving, you bid farewell to each tether that binds you & honor the connection by forging new ones. This gives an outlet to all the love you feel.
Your courage to share this most intimate moment of grief is extraordinary, Beth. We can see u moving thru the fog a tiny bit more each day; this is the amazing woman D fell in love with. Please know we are each holding u up with our love and respect. xo
Our stories are very different, yet the same. I lost my only child (31) suddenly. I was overwhelmed with grief and most likely in shock. I can only say that grief never ends, but will change in time. For now, cry, scream, be angry. It’s okay to grieve, because grieving is love. Hugs to you.
Ok. Sitting in grief every moment. Is gonna make you feel sick again. When I ended up in emergency with acute panic / anxiety. The nurse said something and snapped me out of it.
She said. Get out of your own head! Stop the obsessing thoughts .
Stay strong. And leverage the positive energy of your human and animal connections. Also know most of us suffer private grief, pain, and tragedy. You’re not alone.
You’re a very strong woman who I believe has been harshly tested before, perhaps several times, & survived. This might be the most unbearable test of all, but you’ve got the sand to survive; you must…and you will. Please take good care of Beth - we all love her. ❤️
Your grief is so deep, Beth. You will forever be changed by your loss, and I wish there was some sort of solace I could give you to begin the healing, but it will take time. My arms go around you in a distant hug.
Beth, I’m in awe you shared this with us. So hard to see you alone on the floor w only your own arms to hold you. I keep thinking someone’s in the next room making you tea to bring in & comfort you. But you’ve said you’re mostly on your own. Please keep sharing, know you’re not alone. And hold on ❤️🩹
My mom who was my bff/rock passed 2.5 years ago suddenly and I still look like this sometimes, but over the time I haven’t nearly given myself enough credit for just getting out of bed everyday, take your small daily wins as victories, and be gentle with yourself 🩷 you’re stronger than you think!
it is so hard, it feels IMPOSSIBLE, but you must endure. for her. for her memory. for the animals. it is unfair, and it is overwhelming, but you have extra support if you need it. focus on healing. you have to survive, whatever it takes. we love you. we've got you.
Oh, Honey. I felt every second of that with you. 💔
Don't forget to always be gentle with yourself. You're dealing with so much. As always, we are here for you.
Please feel free to DM me.
You are stronger than you know. You will make it through this. One day, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time. And we will be here for you to lean on. Hugs to you, Beth. ❤️❤️❤️
You are incredibly strong and brave. All of #Croutonia are lined up behind you, around you, creating a wall of love.
We will always be here for you
🫂❤️
This has been me 2/3 days the last month. One time my partner was trying to find me in the lounge room and I was curled in a ball behind the music desk.
Putting one foot in front of the other is sometimes the hardest job.
I wish I could somehow make it all better, but I know I can’t. You may not e strong all the time, but I hope you’re strong enough in the moment to get to the next moment and the next and the next. I hold space in my heart for you.
With Diane's passing being so sudden I think the shock has worn off and the grief will hit hard. You are always in my thoughts, Beth. One day at a time. 💔
I’m so that your journey includes this horrific pain. I haven’t been through anything this rough, but I have lost quite a few family members. I found healing by going to a spiritual medium. Connecting was everything.
we are so proud of you. the grief is as enormous as the depth of the love you had for one another. croutonia is thinking of you every day, wishing we could do more to ease your pain and holding you in our hearts. ❤️❤️
I am so sorry for how much pain you are in. I had a horribly tragic event happen last summer and the sorrow is still often quite excruciating. I would like to share this with you for when you are ready. Sometimes the small things help so much.
You are strong. My 20 year old sister was raped and murdered in 1981. There will always be a hole in my heart. I can promise you one thing. You will experience joy again.
B, please know you are never far from my thoughts, heart, & prayers.
The strength to survive after losing your soulmate is not pretty, & as you said, feels unbearable. Is there anything we can do or send as even a momentary distraction? You know we will move heaven & earth for you & Squirrelwood🤍
I’ve always loved your posts so much. in the pandemic i used to imagine visiting your farm to meet crouton and you
You’ve created a lot of joy for so many people. I’m glad you’re here & appreciate you and know you deserve to have joy and peace, however distant that must feel
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌼
We are together on this journey….together not alone.
I feel my ancestors with me every day🪶
Most days I think I’m fine. Then I see something like this & I’m right back there.
The periods of grief grow fewer & farther between but they never go away.
I’m happy you had such a great love & sorry that you’re suffering that loss.
Thank you for sharing this raw feeling 🩵
I completly grasp your strength already.
The “edges” will grow less sharp with time.
Someday you’ll be walking on warm soft sand with your memories.
You and Diane are always united in love.🕊️
During grieving, you bid farewell to each tether that binds you & honor the connection by forging new ones. This gives an outlet to all the love you feel.
You are stronger than you think! God never gives us more than we can handle! I am convinced of that!
Do you have family still with you ?
I’m gonna say something. That many may not like. But it might be better to not look at those videos right now.
Try and take a rest from the grief.
She said. Get out of your own head! Stop the obsessing thoughts .
It helped to change my
Mind set.
Don't forget to always be gentle with yourself. You're dealing with so much. As always, we are here for you.
Please feel free to DM me.
DM if you want to chat.
We will always be here for you
🫂❤️
Putting one foot in front of the other is sometimes the hardest job.
In the last 6 months I’ve learned grief is a never ending journey similar to the love we had for 30 years. They are always with you.
The strength to survive after losing your soulmate is not pretty, & as you said, feels unbearable. Is there anything we can do or send as even a momentary distraction? You know we will move heaven & earth for you & Squirrelwood🤍
I’ve always loved your posts so much. in the pandemic i used to imagine visiting your farm to meet crouton and you
You’ve created a lot of joy for so many people. I’m glad you’re here & appreciate you and know you deserve to have joy and peace, however distant that must feel