Sadly, there were some easy fixes, which would've still allowed for a darker doctor
If they HAD died after The Doctor was unable to stop Kid, and he came to a (temporary) realisation that hurting him would do nothing to bring them back, it could've set him up to be less forgiving against The Rani
If they HAD died after The Doctor was unable to stop Kid, and he came to a (temporary) realisation that hurting him would do nothing to bring them back, it could've set him up to be less forgiving against The Rani
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But the positioning, when tied so closely to reality, would make a poor statement still, I guess
Maybe a line like that would've sufficed?