It's wild to me how many people say they don't have as much of a social life when they work remote. Office coworkers aren't friends? I seem to be an outlier on this, but coworkers are coworkers. Sometimes they turn into friends (cool when it happens!) but I've never viewed work as a social place. - ThreadSky

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social • 4 days ago

It's wild to me how many people say they don't have as much of a social life when they work remote.

Office coworkers aren't friends?

I seem to be an outlier on this, but coworkers are coworkers.

Sometimes they turn into friends (cool when it happens!) but I've never viewed work as a social place.

Reposted from Charity Majors

Working from an office was really, really healthy for me.

It got me out of the house every day. It got me exercising. A 30-45 min walk or bike ride each way was perfect.

I had better work/life boundaries. I left my laptop at work. I had more friends. My social batteries were much bigger.

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troppypop.bsky.social•4 days ago

I'm with you. Going deeper, I think people's literal definition of "friend" varies. The talks I have in a professional setting, or even office happy hour, are NOT the talks I have with friends. However, for many, "How was your weekend? Some weather we're having!" is friendship.

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

Oof. Small talk is useful social lubricant, but just staying there without getting into anything more interesting... 😬

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

Even just the fact that one needs to be aware of power dynamics and context more with coworkers means that in many ways it's harder to be truly open at work, which means it's harder to really become friends with coworkers.

joycereynoldsward.bsky.social•4 days ago

Exactly this.

stellajorette.bsky.social•4 days ago

You are not alone.

vinegrr.bsky.social•4 days ago

For me, it wouldn't be that I count office co-workers as friends. It'd be that commuting to work means I'm already out of the house, which removes a major inertial barrier to other out-of-house activities.

"I could do X thing/see Y person on the way home" > "I have to put on pants to [X, Y]"

lianabrooks.bsky.social•4 days ago

Depends on the job. When I worked in a marine bio lab, yup, besties. When I worked in larger labs, nope. I had some friends there, but it wasn't a job for socializing. I think it's just easier to isolate if you work remote. Not healthier, probably, but easier.

charity.wtf•4 days ago

You're missing my point. I'm not referring to my coworkers as "friends", I'm saying I got together with my actual friends more when work forced me to leave the house every day and I was used to flexing my social skills.

Now it exhausts me, so I do it rarely.

hazelweakly.me•3 days ago

I’m the same way. It also timeboxes me a lot more clearly. I’m so time blind I *will* work until 9pm because I don’t have an off switch

And yeah I get it, skill issue, but every little thing spends energy somewhere and if I spend energy on time boxing I have less for social activities, so

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•3 days ago

Ah. That's not a take I've seen very often - typically I hear folks (both online and IRL) talk about how they get lonely if they work remotely because they don't have anyone to socialize with.

I've also definitely worked in a lot of offices where they expected everyone to hang out after work.

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

Where I know I'm weird is that even though my day job is remote, I see people in person almost every day.

Performing means I see art friends multiple times a week in shows. Teaching dance means I see lots of students.

When I have a night off from art stuff, I often get dinner with a friend.

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

I'm an extrovert but the assumption that one should be friends with your coworkers has always felt forced to me.

There's also a larger problem where if you expect your coworkers to be your social circle, of course you hire people who look just like you.

Which in tech is bad for women & POC.

joycereynoldsward.bsky.social•4 days ago

It has always been workplace-dependent for me. I found over the years that keeping work and personal life separate was best. Yeah, I socialized with co-workers and made a few friends...but only a few of those connections continued past our time working together. We grew in different directions.

nora-hakase.bsky.social•4 days ago

Without arguing for one or the other, it's pretty straightforward to me to suggest that in-office work can imply more social interaction, more densely spaced, higher in quality, than WFH. For some people. Maybe most, I don't know. And of course things like boundaries and travel time are included.

nora-hakase.bsky.social•4 days ago

Co-workers don't have to be friends. But being friendly with co-workers is definitely much more an affordance of in-office work, and when it's possible to do it can be really nice to have. Especially given how much time we spend at work.

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

There's certainly more of an expectation to socialize after hours when you have in-person work - I find this takes time away from my actual friends.

And yes, it's easier to be friendly with coworkers in person. But you can thoughtfully build a culture remotely that's friendly too.

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

Commutes are awful though, especially in a major city. And I've worked remotely more often than not in my career because I've always hated offices. I'm always *much* more exhausted when I have to work in an office.

Remotely, I can hold it together full-time in tech + full-time hours after in art.

nora-hakase.bsky.social•4 days ago

Agreed—this is all very contextual. I like my in-person job precisely because (a) it's a job that really works better in person (b) the commute does not suck (c) I genuinely like the people I work with. Blow up any one of those things and I'd change my mind.

dawnxianamoon.bsky.social•4 days ago

People are allowed to like in-person work! We're all different.

But *relying* on being in an office for socialization and friendship has always felt weird to me. It's clear a lot of people do though.

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