"why don't straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gay men do" the difference is that unlike straight women and gay men who both like men, lesbians like women and straight men like each other
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Despite being queer I have spent enough time around cishet men to know what most of them are like. On the whole they dislike women immensely. It’s grim.
Exactly. Straight men think that a lesbian is simply a woman that hasn't been with the right guy, while trans women are simply confused men wearing a dress.
I'm talking with oomfs right now about cis lesbians cracking eggs by dating them before either know that the egg is a trans woman and I want to make a joke about cis men being girls who haven't met the right girl yet but I feel like there's no room under misogyny to do so
It is true. However, it can't fully scrape away the pain.
I do however, feel bad for little boys who want to be kind, but are for example taught kindness is weakness. It is actually the greatest strength I feel.
Becouse my friend group in real life only includes those who is my friend on Steam, so its not realy about love interest more like what game do we love
I hung out with some women on my time and I can say most women are pick me's. Straight people of the opposite gender just hate each other. It's hilarious.
Its also kinda true as to why straight men are so uncomfortable around gay/bi men. They want to be attractive to other men in the jealousy way, but when they're considered a fair option by said men, they panic.
They don't want to be objectified the way they objectify/sexualize women.
Straight women have been pressured nearly from birth to have to emotionally/mentally juggle the desires and moods of men. Gay men get that too, + the fear of violence if they don't please men or do something a man doesnt like (maybe its also personal but this doesnt seem to correlate with trans men)
*All women* have been conditioned from birth the juggle mens emotions & desires. Their sexuality is not a factor, its part of growing up girl-coded, because the fear of violence is real despite your preferences.
I don't think so, thats on me for being unable to word it right. Trans men do have a lot of struggles with wanting to pass as men, but unable to not be aware of certain emotional realities. I was more attempting to describe that not all cis women would be comfy with trans men (the small terf groups)
I don't think its harmful to be aware of how things affect people but the outsized responsibility put on trans men and women of all kinds to put aside our emotional struggles for the sake of men (esp men ignorant of we go through) is the issue.
Our emotions have to have a place, with us at least.
Its because straight men need to pass the "not misogynist" vibe check which means that it only happens in niche hobbies, because misogynists aren't interesting enough to have hobbies
As someone who grew up around a lot of nerdy and dorky guys, Nice Guy misogynists have hobbies. They’re just more stealthy, some will even seem kind on the surface
i’ve def known some lesbians and straight dudes who hang out, maybe it’s not as much of a thing anymore but i feel like the butch lesbian in a group of bros was once an old archetype
It always used to amaze me that straight men didn't view gay men as essentially no threat and lesbians as competitors for the same resource, until I learned how many men don't actually view women as their equals.
Straight women hang out with gay men because the gay men don’t try to fuck them.
Lesbian women don’t hang out with straight men because the straight men will try to fuck them.
sexual competition is an animal level behavior and straight women like gay men because they have a lot of female coded interests but do not primal threaten the straight women the way another female does.
Lesbians and cis men dont vibe because cis men view all females as objects to pursue not friend
Oh look psuedoscience bullshit that tries to catagorize all human behaviour often born from culture as socialization as instead being part of some kind of biological predestination.
There is an instinctual inclination towards competition.
That's not biological. Instinct and biology are 2 different things.
The only part I had a problem with was the implication that it's "all" women innately. However that doesn't take much from the validity of the point: "Sexism is bad"
it does when it implies sexism is natural rather then artificial.
There is not significant evidence of sexual competition in humans as being a naturally occurring phenomenon. Especially when humans are not naturally exclusively monogamous. We're social species.
its actually a sign women dont like each other at all, that they prefer the company of gay men its literally like saying "i cannot have a female friend due to being fragile/insecure she is higher value than me" but she can rest confident if with gay friend, similar interests but highest value
That's not actually how the stereotype works. It's not just one girl with one gay guy friend. It's usually a group of straight girls with 1 or 2 guys who are gay. So your insane claim that you pulled out of your ass doesn't even make sense.
any female who has spent any time with women knows they are all very down with misogyny, will always support males "of hteir group" over women, attack each other even in the same culture/ethnic group, but definitely outsiders and will always prioritize men of their group over women outside of it.
Using female as a noun for humans is pretty fucked up.
Yes there is a lot of miosgynistic women. But this doesn't seem to be a universal trend of women rejecting other women for the sake of men. Even among straight women.
i dont like this bullshit like "misogyny is just men" yes it benefits men, and it is men who primarily promote it, but it cannot go on without the complicity of women, and the instinct algorithm of female is "support your man, fuck other women ESPECIALLY women outside your culture group"
Misogyny is a result of patriarchy created by men. It is not born of biology but social conditioning. There is no evidence of an "instincts algorithm" in women that has them supporting violent/abusive men over friendly women.
women are literally 55% of the population the reason we have women supporting the worst men of their group is they are misogynist and down for it and are in this little tribal delusion if htey uplift the worst most brutal men "like them" they win when they actually just end up being beat down next.
bestie I don't know how to explain to you that a trans woman, especially one this radically and critically queer, is the last person in the world you need to explain to about how women can be misogynists
Do you realize the logical end point of denying sex based brain changes that inform gender preferences and orientation is conclusion that trans people and gay people choose to be that way?
sexual competition is seen also in our closest primate relatives the pan branch chimpanzee, females have a looser heirarchial structure but there is a dominant female who sabotages subordinate female to get more resources from dominant male who will sire offspring.
Although straight men and lesbians get on fine if the former aren't full of toxic masculinity.
I see it a lot at LARPs, Renn Faires, and similar spaces, at least in New England (barring some specific exceptions)?
But then, those spaces tend to be pretty queer friendly, so there's a filtering effect.
pray you never experience sharing a community oriented around some media with straight guys who despise "yuri shit" and act like constant misogynists and creeps and think lesbians and trans women are fake and also fair game to sexually harass on sight
Speaking as a (feminist, pro-LGBTQ) straight man myself: posts like this aren’t a personal attack against you*. But the fact is a large majority of straight men *are* pretty crappy: either they engage in this behaviour themselves or enable it.
*but also, cut out the “not all men” shit, please.
Being a straight man who hates “yuri shit” makes no damn sense to me, man. I ain’t saying guys like that don’t exist though, just saying that’s bitchmade shit.
There was a Twitter thread by a guy asking whatever happened to dudes liking yuri and a former anime forum mod related that she's never seen himedanshis to be more than a minority
That's fascinating, as in the places I've hung out the gender split has always seemed pretty even, but these are based on open surveys more than active community participation so I wouldn't be terribly surprised to find that the dudes are more likely to lurk than post
It was my understanding that we were more of a presence than fujoshis, and that it just hadn’t been given a term until lately because we’re men and thus treated as the default.
The most liberal open-minded equitable man needs to understand that if he was raised in the USA, he's been marinated in racism and misogyny. The more that's denied, the more blatantly dipshit bigoted the man.
Racism and misogyny are the baseline for ANYONE raised in America. Exposure and education help the majority of people rise above that abysmal bottom. Instead of acknowledging that hideous nature of this "melting pot", America has hallucinated that it's "great". FOH!
I feel like some of that is openness too. At some point I forgot to internalize all the homophobia that straight people are supposed to. Also you really can just be friends with women. Literally just understand the nature of your relationship.
No nyeah like, it's kinda crazy how the best tip for hanging out with girls and stuff is legit just "Dunno just talk to them and be nice like a normal person"
They hang out with me all the time—the only difference is whether or not I publicly self label into scaring them out of a conversation by self labeling (which is usually received as a deterrent when you’re loud about it…..) Feels like our status quo is fully committed to a mental gymnastics death
I often have to sincerely ask them if they’d behave the same with any other unknown creature in the “can I breed it before I attempt to understand it” vein 😹 feels like the world is still in high school hormonally
I have said before I personally think that the lesbian umbrella could extend to 100% binary men who like women but only in the case they *actually like women* which is basically never true
The only straight guy in my queer women mostly friend group was a big sonic the hedgehog fan with shown comfort around furries. That’s the kind of straight guy who hangs with queer women. Someone comfy with lgbt and its culture in general.
I have observed lesbian friends being quite rude to straight men. I have never observed gay men being rude to straight women, or any woman for that matter.
I'm a straight man and I hang out with lesbians all the time. Some of my best friends are lesbians. You just have to not be creepy, and treat them like people who matter (and not an alien or a novelty). It's simple.
Actually, treat me like an alien. As in reverence to a superior lifeform that managed to bridge the incomprehensible gap between stars to arrive on this world.
I know a cishet dude. Most normal person ever. Genuinely, it's like he doesn't have a weird bone in his body. He WANTS to be weird cause all the rest of our friend group is crazy.
Meanwhile he's just sitting there looking like a "Dave". 💀 Love him. Yall can be hella chill sometimes.
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TOO RARE TO DIE
I do however, feel bad for little boys who want to be kind, but are for example taught kindness is weakness. It is actually the greatest strength I feel.
Every group, cis, trans, bi, gay, les, het, etc has it's own share of coercive rapists.
Gender and sexuality isn't what causes someone to lack boundaries and hurt others. It doesnt work like that.
Ive experienced "I can fix you" from women much more than men.
I am the gay agenda. I turn people queer.
Just eat lunch, do homework, play games, and so on. The lesbian part really doesn't matter to you.
The only straight man I'm close to is my brother, though I think he might be ace. (Never had a partner, but that's not proof.)
The average trans woman has been on estrogen replacement for at least a year
They don't want to be objectified the way they objectify/sexualize women.
Our emotions have to have a place, with us at least.
Or if the lesbians are bi-phobic.
If neither are the case then yall probably get along great. 👍 As a bi-genderfluid, I've never had an issue with an enby lesbian.
Lesbian women don’t hang out with straight men because the straight men will try to fuck them.
Lesbians and cis men dont vibe because cis men view all females as objects to pursue not friend
Cishet women have plenty of cishet women friends.
A lot of women hate women so much they'll vote for their own oppressors just in hopes that other women suffer with them.
Seen in women supporting Trump, women who rallied over the serial killer that was "too cute for prison", and in my own life on a personal level. 👍
That's not biological. Instinct and biology are 2 different things.
The only part I had a problem with was the implication that it's "all" women innately. However that doesn't take much from the validity of the point: "Sexism is bad"
There is not significant evidence of sexual competition in humans as being a naturally occurring phenomenon. Especially when humans are not naturally exclusively monogamous. We're social species.
Fooling people sexism is only a male issue is how they keep getting away with it
Misogyny and misandry and just 2 different kinds of sexism. Sexism isn't just man on woman. It's woman on woman, man on man, and woman on man too.
Hate doesn't discriminate. (Ironically)
Yes there is a lot of miosgynistic women. But this doesn't seem to be a universal trend of women rejecting other women for the sake of men. Even among straight women.
and black women who were fervent defend oj simpson and totally down like, men "like them" if abuse different women
this is all women they are very misogynist
Is there a statistically large amount of black women who defend oj simpson? I'd like to see your stats for that. And a source of course.
BUT as a female who was groomed by a woman and tried to vent among women in a group for it, yeah, a lot of women don't care about women.
I know a lot of women who would sooner defend their OWN rapist for attention than they would support a female victim of the same man. 😐 1/2
TWICE. Fucking twice. 2 different girls. 💀💀💀 "would" should be replaced with "have".
Some people will genuinely defend their OWN abuser, not out of love or fear, but out of hating YOU.
Your thread hits home man.
And yes, sexual competition is real even animal exhibition this
Two unspayed bitches will fight for turf even among dogs
Chimpanzee have concept paternity
I see it a lot at LARPs, Renn Faires, and similar spaces, at least in New England (barring some specific exceptions)?
But then, those spaces tend to be pretty queer friendly, so there's a filtering effect.
*but also, cut out the “not all men” shit, please.
Tbh that's weird and slightly embarrassing.
I am not even sure I know what spaces those might be, actually. 😕
Just talk to each other ffs
Maybe it's the smug self-assurance, IDK.
Odd, that.
I hang out with gay men, straight men, SUPER gay trans fems, and other bi/pansexuals.
Not cause we have the same preferences, but because we've all got sexual trauma in ranging severity. 🙏 Much stronger bond.
Meanwhile he's just sitting there looking like a "Dave". 💀 Love him. Yall can be hella chill sometimes.