It’s unfair to frame it as “two sides stuck hating each other” when one just wants to live their lives while the other “side” has the means and the motive to systemically and individually destroy lives. It is not trans people’s responsibility to “win” over the people oppressing them.
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Humans are wired to exclude before they include.
Sometimes there is no other alternative.
You may think it's easy to see that everyone should just be able to live their lives autonomously & that's a simple concept to grasp that's not worthy of much debate.
But it's not that easy.