Women shouldn't have to or opt to change their name during the marriage process, especially within the US where locking them out of essential documentation is a common practice and a form of repression. Refuse to change it.
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"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."
Marriage is dumb as hell anyways. It's just a legal contract. You shouldn't need a legal contract to be with someone you love. Even if the law does suck.
Women should not get married in this current climate and all married women should get divorced whether they want to leave their spouse or not because pretty soon they won't have the fucking option they will have to ask the spouse for permission that they are unlikely to give in most situations
Weren't republicans the ones that wanted REAL ID? Wasn't REAL ID supposed to be proof enough to vote? REAL ID requires the birth certificate and proof of a name change. Now what's the point of getting a REAL ID?
This'll die on the Senate floor but people should be putting its goal on billboards.
Marriage shouldn’t be a reason to change your name- we’re past the days of “belonging” to someone like we’re property.
We need to fight like hell and take this as a lesson to never ever let them gain control again.
#fuckpatriarchy
So they want us to be brood mares and not be able to vote but, why would we even bother getting married and being mothers under the rule of these vicious madmen? Not me. I wouldn't play this game anymore.
If I didn't hate my maiden name, and the family that it belongs to, I'd change mine back. Thankfully, I have my passport, but I know not everyone can afford to get theirs.
Changing it when women got married used to be required. If this is the result never change your name legally. Ever! It will impact men too if their legal name changed to a hyphenated last name.
People currently considering a name change will now have this bullshit to weigh in their pros and cons, yes, but the decision should still be made according to what feels right for them. Trans folks, for example, should not have to postpone their legal transition over this nonsense. No one should.
We should be allowed to change our name or keep our name and it should be nobody’s choice but our own. I did in marriage one because it was a “deal breaker” for him (🚩). Second go, no marriage, no name change, our kids have a different last name than me, and it’s literally never been an issue
Agreed, my wife was excited to change her name. Her parents were awful and borderline abusive and she didn’t want to be associated with them. We should be making things better not trying to work around the republicans shitty behavior
I may have the laziest reason of all for taking my husband’s surname: it’s easy to pronounce and spell, unlike my maiden name. I love my old name (and to me, it’s still mine!), but I relished the opportunity not to have to spell and sound it out for everyone for the rest of my life. 😅
Agreed. Its a lot easier when you have kids for everyone to match. Plus, I changed my name 20 years ago… when this type of barn carpet wasn't even a thought.
Whether for convenience or any other reason, it should be entirely up to the individual. Getting real sick of hearing that women should or shouldn’t do one or the other. 🙄
But women should be aware of the consequences. I'm going to have to jump thru extra hoops because 40 years ago I took my husband's name. Women need to be aware before they choose to change their name
Absolutely. I ended up nearly in tears trying to explain this to my representatives office. (He's wretched so naturally he voted yes. And my senators are even worse than my representative is)
This is only when you register, right? This doesn't effect those who are already in the system? I keep seeing these really high numbers of those who would supposedly be effected, but nothing changes for me or anyone I know because they are already registered.
I'm actually not sure. Kustoffs rep couldn't really tell me, she mostly wanted to read me her talking points about how many "illegals" Biden brought in to vote. I said repeatedly "it's ok, I know y'all hate immigrants, I'm not calling about that, I'm calling about married woman today" .
I'm going to take every document I have to voting registration office and lay it on the counter and ask them if I'm good to vote. I don't know how else to be 100% sure, you know?
I'm so glad I didn't change my name when I married. I never wanted to, anyway - it was my identity and I didn't see why my identity should change just because of marriage.
I'd love to see a movement of women changing their names back if the SAVE Act passes!
The four Dem reps who voted for this need to go. Zero excuses or the “purple district” lame responses. What they did was wrong and they need to be removed.
Asking on behalf of married women. If I took all the required documents to the DMV to get a Real ID, ( marriage license, birth cert, SS card) shouldn't that ID be enough?
I thought there was a standard Real ID throughout the country? It was different from just a regular drivers license. Anyone who wants to fly domestically needs one now.
I am just thinking that even though the ID doesn't say, it is still on file. In Massachusetts when you renew your driver's license, you can register to vote or stay registered. So the state has all my info already.
It doesn't matter to this bill. The reality is that state, local, and the federal government all have plenty of data on us and can easily tell who is a citizen and who is not. That isn't the point. The point is voter suppression as laid out in Project 2025 (including curtailing women's rights)
GOP/Republicans/maga all hate women for whatever reason. Do not understand why there are women in that party. With that being said though it's extremely sad that the Democrats couldn't he left a qualified woman twice. They'll say out loud that they support but when it comes time to vote they didn't.
Both choices come with their own host of problems. Perhaps tone down the shoulds and shouldn’ts. Should is a shaming word, implying we were wrong in our choices, when honestly it should be a safe choice either way. Were women: Damned if we do; Damned if we don’t.
Ohio has the real id program and I had to show my birth certificate then my marriage certificate, divorce papers for three fucked up marriages!!!! MEN JUST SHOW THEIR BIRTH CERTIFICATES!!!! THIS IS A WAR ON WOMEN TO SAY THE LEAST!!!!😡😈👹🤡🤢🤯💩🤬🤦♀️🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Gotta be honest,really glad my husband was supportive of me keeping my last name these days.That said,we should be raising hell for adoptees and foster kids who may be effected by this,as well as our trans community members too.No one should be left behind and unrepresented because of a name change.
And the vets! My dogs are under both of my husband and my surnames and hyphenated as they couldn't find the dogs on their computer when I rang up to book appts. 🤣
It’s an obsolete vestige of patriarchy. Women shouldn’t be treated as their husband’s property. If you want to change your name it’s your choice but it shouldn’t be assumed to be the norm.
Technically they don't have to. And if they do, they can change however they want. I personally placed my maiden name with my middle name rather than have two last names. I now have two middle names. And oddly, definition of my full name is:
Dawn of Day Joyous In the Woods Clergy
You don't need to change it - you can ask people to call you Mrs xyz if you want. Personally I wouldn't bother, women should keep their own identities and agency.
Some women have bad relationships with their fathers and want to change their names. Trans people often want to change their last names as well. There needs to be more protection and consideration for people that want to change their names.
I didn't change mine but that was mainly because my husband's last name is so common I would be like the 500th Laura Johnson in my county and also because I am lazy
It shouldn't be an issue. If you want to change it, change it. If you both want to change them, change them. If you want to go through the process twice a year, do it, and then register to vote without issue. Free country?
In Alabama, a married woman seeking a driver's license can keep her name and not be allowed to drive, or she can get her license and the state will automatically do all the spousal name change paperwork for/at her. At least that was the case a decade ago when a friend was there as a military spouse.
In so many cultures women retain their family name. It’s an honour to their father.
After my divorce I went back to my birth name. Remarried - kept my name - my father’s name.
Nobody is required to change their name. Now they are trying to take the freedom of self-choice away. So, it won't make sense to change. Because of the fascist nazi regime.
My ex chose to hyphenate when we got married in 1991. She chose to stay hyphenated when we divorced in 2021, saying that her career had been built on that hyphenated name. I saw no reason to object.
It's not the name exacting repression on women, it's the government. The howling begins in 2026.
I changed my last name not out of tradition but because I love my husband and he's it for me. Additionally, my father was abusive and I wanted to distance myself from him. So, we all have our reasons.
I may have to change it back if push comes to shove. I feel like I'm being robbed of my choice.
If a man, or woman, or anyone else, wants to keep their name, or take a name, or change their name, that should be between them and themself and should not remove any rights or privileges they had before the change. There’s a simple word and concept for this: FREEDOM
It IS weird! I would have loved to keep mine because it was Norwegian (my grandpa was an immigrant) but in 1985 in the rural south that was simply not done. I wish my daughter had kept hers. I'm thrilled that my daughter-in-law kept her name.
I kept my name because as a writer, I had an established byline. When I explained this, my soon to be husband said, “I don’t want to own you. I just want to marry you.” 🥰
My son was the same with his wife, he encouraged to keep her name if she preferred. I'm so glad of it. (I put their last names together in an amusing sounding combo for gift tags)
Any suggestions if you have already changed your name to your husbands last name? All government record, Social Security numbers, etc are all in the married name. Best suggestion is to not get married at all!
But our country is set up that it can be so hard to raise a family without those legal protections unless both spouses are wage earners. I was a sahm and without legal protection I'd have been uninsured.. Also, I'm going to need my survivor benefits if I outlive my husband.
I don't know how it's done in the USA but here in Ontario the only way to official change your name is via an official name change application-so if someone adopts their spouse's name - that's NOT official- the end result - if born in Ontario is a new birth certificate issued with the change of name
Already changed for me decades ago... I have my marriage license and both my original SS card and my new one showing the same number and both names, but that's the only record I have that I changed my name. No doubt a great many people don't even have that much. 😕
Another 2025 goal here (beyond misogyny and voter suppression) is the national ID card, because (1) police state and (2) USSR style “internal passport.”
This negates that spouses appreciate the significance of sharing a family name. The law needs to reflect us, we don't need to bend to avoid an unjust law.
In Sweden you don't have to change your name, and it's also OK for men to change theirs to their wife's surname, which many do. It's called freedom of choice.
Women do not have to take their husbands name, it’s optional. I am of the opinion that I was born with a name and don’t want or need another added or to change mine. But if a woman wants to, have at it, but now it’s used to subjugate us yet again. This BS is old & stale-all about making us chattel
This is just the beginning. Next move I predict is the removal of birth control, condoms, and abortion in all 50 states. They claim single mothers are society's poverty problem...all written in P2025
ABSOLUTELY! Regular use of language gets to be automatic, so older terms usually not intended negatively. I try to have patience too w/folks who say “workman’s” comp instead of “workers”. But I usually still say “mailman” instead of “mail carrier”. It’s a process of just having some more awareness.
I only changed mine because Sparkes is easy for people and Fridfinnson is not. But 40 years on, I applied for CPP and realized I had never done the paperwork to legally change it after I married. But they accepted Sparkes for passports, taxes and everything else!
Unfortunately, if you have kids, certain things get needlessly difficult/awkward as a result of having a different last name than them. A coworker has had to deal with it for the past 20 years. It’s the only reason my wife changed after we got married- it avoids the constant “are you the nanny?”
I changed mine after thinking I wouldn’t because I worked managing a family practice and we had families with multiple last names and Sue Smith would call to make an appt for Jimmy and you’d hang up and realize we had no Jimmy Smith…I didn’t care what last name we had - just so it was the same
Yep, exactly. Super annoying, I'm sure. On the flip-side, even when the Dad has the same last name... some places simply refuse to call him for anything kid related. They always call the Mom first, no matter what, even after being told Dad should be called first.
In 13 years I’ve never found it to be much of an issue at all. My household has 3 last names. Mine isn’t the same as anyone else’s. Do people sometimes assume I’m “Mrs Kid 1s Last Name” sure but it’s a quick correction and everyone moves on. We’ve had medical emergencies, never once been an issue.
I did not change my last name and it has not really been a problem with my kids. You just have to make sure you always give last names. It actually helped when I was teaching in my kids' school.
Oh I know. I had a friend many years ago who had to send a copy of her marriage certificate with her taxes every year so she and her husband could file jointly.
This one is gonna hurt the GOP when poor, Republican women who can’t afford passports go to vote and find they can’t. Maybe they are thinking the poor, Democrat women will balance it out, but I wouldn’t bet on that. Any way you slice it, they are marginalizing women.
I kept my last name and when I divorced I included I was keeping my maiden name in my decree. I never changed my social security name. In fact, two of my sons changed their last names to my maiden name.
When I got married I changed my last name. Why? I wanted one family name.
I grew up w kids who had hyphenated last names & when marrying other hyphenated last names didn’t quite know what to do w 4 surnames to pass on to their kids. I didn’t want that. Now I’m being punished for it by my government.
I agree, but some use one name (either's or a new one) because they want kids. Not having your kids' last name can result in issues, especially when traveling. I could do a whole TED talk on how being a parent increases state control over adults.
All these people changing names could have issues with social security, credit etc.
Of course, that was probably an added bonus for the AH's.
It is only supposed to be for new voter registrations & changes.
How long before the states have to clean the rolls and make everyone reregister?
I don’t want my birth name. Some of us had fathers who left or were abusive. I know young women who took their mother’s name when parents divorced and now they’re caught up in this. In other words, women should be free to choose. Let’s not miss the point here.
It's outdated to change your surname to that of your husband. You are not his possession.
I didn't take my hisbands name 5 years ago. I was past baby making age, and I couldn't think of a valid argument for it.
If I had it to do over, I would keep my maiden name, but I’ve now had my married name for almost 50 years. Am I going to have to get an amended birth certificate? How will this work exactly?
There should be the ability to bring marriage certificate, but if you can afford it, get a passport. You will show birth and marriage certificates and get passport in your current legal name.
Comments
-FS Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (1925)
US house passed the SAVE Act this week. Ask your senators to shoot this bill down.
Read up on the SAVE ACT here :
https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/house-bill/8281/all-actions
(TL:DR; this bill wouldn’t allow married women who changed their last name to vote.)
Use 5 calls to help you out.
https://5calls.org/
This'll die on the Senate floor but people should be putting its goal on billboards.
We need to fight like hell and take this as a lesson to never ever let them gain control again.
#fuckpatriarchy
I'd love to see a movement of women changing their names back if the SAVE Act passes!
Either fucking way.
Enhanced Real ID might work.
Americans are losing rights. Stand up for them now, before there is no one left to stand for you.
It's patriarchal bullshit. Supported by toxic masculinity in religious people.
Why people continue to romanticize marriage is beyond me.
I'm joking and I'm not....
or
if YOU WANT TO change it, refuse to be disenfranchised for that choice.
Dawn of Day Joyous In the Woods Clergy
I need punctuation
Hey, I kinda like it
However, deny voting? Really, US? You're such a special country, ain't you?
What's next, stop civil rights? No right to education?
The SAVE Act is discriminatory
After my divorce I went back to my birth name. Remarried - kept my name - my father’s name.
It's not the name exacting repression on women, it's the government. The howling begins in 2026.
I may have to change it back if push comes to shove. I feel like I'm being robbed of my choice.
Proper headline: GOP REVOKES 19TH AMENDMENT
Right now, it's a PITA.
Times they are a changin’
I grew up w kids who had hyphenated last names & when marrying other hyphenated last names didn’t quite know what to do w 4 surnames to pass on to their kids. I didn’t want that. Now I’m being punished for it by my government.
Of course, that was probably an added bonus for the AH's.
It is only supposed to be for new voter registrations & changes.
How long before the states have to clean the rolls and make everyone reregister?
I didn't take my hisbands name 5 years ago. I was past baby making age, and I couldn't think of a valid argument for it.
Every single time a woman changes her name now, when we know better, I die a little inside.