I see. To be constructive. How do I add to making things better not contribute to maintaining a bad system? We my daughter to demand respect and equality. And I want to know what warning signs she can look for from a woman’s perspective. I’ve told her things I’ve seen toxic men do and say. - ThreadSky

papayafools.bsky.social • 119 days ago

I see.
To be constructive. How do I add to making things better not contribute to maintaining a bad system?
We my daughter to demand respect and equality. And I want to know what warning signs she can look for from a woman’s perspective.
I’ve told her things I’ve seen toxic men do and say.

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lyndamagnolia.bsky.social•119 days ago

Just thought of a specific way you can be constructive instead of the opposite. When discussing the age gap btwn you & your wife, state what you said below instead of "she chose", "she was more mature", and "she helped me."

(Aside: We know she helped you. It's what we do.)
https://bsky.app/profile/papayafools.bsky.social/post/3limmhad5us2k

papayafools.bsky.social•119 days ago

Thank you. Hopefully someday I’ll truly be the ally all ladies deserve.

More so. That one day it isn’t necessary.

lyndamagnolia.bsky.social•119 days ago

You're welcome. Thank you for listening.

Keep learning, keep listening to women and men *who KNOW.* Don't ever stop doing that. Put more focus on talking to men. That's the only way that day may be here soon enough for your daughter to benefit.

papayafools.bsky.social•119 days ago

Exactly.
I may be disabled physically. But my brain works. I can learn. As an extrovert I am also comfortable speaking. I will do just this.
Thank you for firmly but with understanding steering my POV back on track.
I know it is my responsibility to learn, not yours to teach. So I appreciate it.

lyndamagnolia.bsky.social•119 days ago

Trying to talk to men about this as a woman does take a lot of emotional labor from women, more than the man. It helps greatly when my partner in the conversation wants to have an open discussion instead of a debate.

I enjoyed this interaction. But now I'm going to turn my brain off for a bit.

lyndamagnolia.bsky.social•119 days ago

1. Accept your agency. Accept that BOTH your wife AND YOU chose, not just her.
2. Learn why saying"But she was more mature & helped me" is problematic.
3. Explain to your daughter WHY the toxic things men say are toxic. Not just that they are.

To do this, you need to learn a lot more about
👇

lyndamagnolia.bsky.social•119 days ago

the power imbalance between men and women, and what women have to go through living in this society. One good man to explain this is The Public Offender on YouTube. Another is Expatriarch.

https://www.youtube.com/@Thepublicoffender100

https://www.youtube.com/@ex.patriarch

lyndamagnolia.bsky.social•119 days ago

I listened to the live Public did on age gaps this afternoon & it wasn't a good one,especially for a new viewer. It took 2+hrs to get going & not representative of his usual convos. Try another. And don't forget Expatriarch, the 2nd link above. He only does regular videos, not call-in livestreams.

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