Not quite the same, but have you read my lovely girlfriend @dragonsaffron.bsky.social 's "Ecstacies of Saint Chrysenia the Mad"? https://archiveofourown.org/works/52356322
Definitely isn't enjoying it thoa nope. Not even a little. Not at all. Totally against this. No euphoria being had whatsoever. Absolutely not she swears!
Imper Guard solider (male?) being taken through the same trials and that the saint was and learning her history and seeing the ancient photos of her ... and realizing he once looked exactly the same as she did in the oldest of the photos, but now looks like how she did a year into the her trials.
Comments
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52356322
“Pffft, don’t worry about that”
Cue attendants rolling in the giant drums of Astartes grade estrogen