I once had someone congratulate me on being pregnant because I don't drink. Look, don't insult my extra pounds like that. I just don't like drinking poison.
I always just say “no thanks, I’ve had enough” which is technically true. I drank my full allotment in record time. Plus it makes people look at you funny at 11:00am like, “WTF time did you start drinking!?!??”
Alcoholic here. Rude people get really quiet (or entertainingly defensive) when I ask them what they're having. Then how many they already had today. And how much they estimate they spend on alcohol in a week or month. IDGAF. Suffer, fool.
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“You were more fun when you were drinking”
Me:
“You were more fun when I was drinking as well”
My brain just doesn't need another reason to malfunction in our current society.
"You don't drink? How long have you been sober?"
"Mmmm, all my life. I just don't like the taste of alcohol."
She watched in horror as I spit it into my hand.
I was gonna tell her about my two hard years of sobriety but then I realized I don’t owe her a thing.