Because of a somewhat muddled lecture about plants in first grade, I spent years believing that humans breathed carbon dioxide while pooping. - ThreadSky

tkingfisher.com • 24 days ago

Because of a somewhat muddled lecture about plants in first grade, I spent years believing that humans breathed carbon dioxide while pooping.

Reposted from Bill Childs

“Bizarre things you firmly believed when a kid” is one of my favorite genres and I firmly believe we all have excellent examples if we can remember them

Comments

blackcatcrosses.bsky.social•23 days ago

Only while pooping?

tkingfisher.com•23 days ago

They said plants excreted carbon dioxide and…well…

trishpaton.bsky.social•24 days ago

When I was quite small, my father convinced me there were sharks in our dugout that would eat small children (me) if I got too close to the edge. I was very careful not to get close by myself.

To be fair, I was a water rat from 4 and neither of my parents could swim. And dugouts ARE dangerous.

whisperingsage.bsky.social•24 days ago

That's what constipation is.

tkingfisher.com•24 days ago

I genuinely assumed that was why we didn’t suffocate when we were constipated.

bellinghman.bsky.social•24 days ago

Constipation, respiration, same thing, yes?

pjie2.bsky.social•24 days ago

radbaron.bsky.social•23 days ago

lizziemercury.bsky.social•23 days ago

Brings whole new meaning to my mom's old phrase "Your ass sucks wind!" :P

arctic-wanderer.bsky.social•21 days ago

When I was around five my cousin told me that when actors don't want to be in a tv show any more they got 'killed off'.

I was mortified and wondered why anyone would be an actor if they just randomly got killed like that.

wijsgeer.bsky.social•24 days ago

When i was very little i thought that all the little sacks with juice you find in citrus fruit were vitamins. Fruit is full of vitamins afterall

butdiscourse.bsky.social•23 days ago

I was firmly convinced that gravity was called "grabbity" until I was about six, because it made sense that the force that kept me from floating into space would grab me and pull me back to Earth when I jumped.

My parents did not correct me because they thought it was hilarious.

slightlylyons.bsky.social•24 days ago

I beleaved Sesame Street was just what the TV did. I couldn't understand when it wasn't on.

lizziemercury.bsky.social•23 days ago

I thought that if I shot the TV (to break the screen), I could step into PeeWee's Playhouse. 😞

dvandom.bsky.social•23 days ago

Due to misunderstanding the scale of one of those acetate overlay diagrams in the World Book, I spent a few years in grade school thinking my intestines were fairly small and there was a risk of pooping them out entirely if I strained too hard. (Learning about prolapse would've horrified me then!)

brennafawley.bsky.social•23 days ago

My mom used a sock and a softball as a visual aid for childbirth. She grabbed a pair of canning tongs to show how doctors sometimes used forceps, and for the longest time I thought babies were extracted with canning tongs.

dlwchico.bsky.social•24 days ago

I thought for a long time that those trailer parks and apartment complexes that advertised as ‘adult only’ was where nudists lived.

dreamless.bsky.social•24 days ago

Because my dentist said something about my teeth having fishers, I thought there were little traps to catch fish in my mouth. It wasn't until many, many years later that I realized he must have said fissures...

kootsoop.com•23 days ago

I was overly disappointed by bad letter spacing.

The Car Pet Store was no such thing!

anstevens.bsky.social•24 days ago

For a time I thought the things advertised in tv commercials were entirely made up. Like it was a weird fantasy fiction genre.

I remember saying to my mom, “wouldn’t it be cool if that chair really existed?” and she was like, well it does exist…

brucearthursaz.bsky.social•23 days ago

My mom trying to explain to very young me that her pregnancy before I came along was stillborn three months early: "I carried him for six months."

For YEARS I thought Ohio had some weird law that moms had to carry dead babies around for six months, in a jar of formaldehyde or something.

bcaugust.bsky.social•24 days ago

For quite a few years as a kid, I believed if you stepped on a snake, it would burrow into your leg and just stay under your skin and trying to take it out would just leave splinters of itself behind. (It was sticks, my mom was talking about sticks.)

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