His hands were chiseled and strong, like they had proudly lifted the stars & bars high onto a windswept battlefield in a previous life. His nimble fingers roamed confidently, just as certain with his lover’s physical presence as he was familiar with the firearms used in his private citizens militia
"Our favorite guilty pleasure, we later found, was the weekends we roleplayed as Daddy Donald, and Sweet Ivanka. In public we played this game secretly by only roleplaying in Russian."
“The next morning, over Signal, he texted me how much fun he had the night before: 👊 🇺🇸 🔥. It was then I knew: the two of us—and the seven other guys in the group chat—would live happily ever after.”
“He tore off his red hat and American flag shirt (made in Hong Kong), and tossed his four concealed handguns on my floor. His sex appeal was wildly disarming.” 😑😑😑😑😒😒😒😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭
“The way he snort that meth and drank that gallon of moonshine and the way he wraps himself with a MAGA Trump flag I felt like having an orgasm. I think I’d die if I lose him.”
Comments
Great way to start the day! Thank you. Love McSweeneys.
Is that the evolutional link between Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon man?
Ouch 🤣
A perfect stupidity loop
Audio erotica. Ewww.
i'm not sure there are many women that would love ' undoing my bra strap like undoing my rights...'
but sure, some might be into it.
Superb, and on target.