If you're in NYC waiting for the ball drop just know I'm at home with a toilet about 10 ft from me. I'm warm and I can go to the bathroom whenever I want.
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I went to NYC once. Tonight, thankfully I’ll be about 16 feet from my bathroom, it won’t be drizzling, and no strange pervert won’t be rubbing up against me like that one time I went to NYC.
They can. At first, I just slid in front of my husband. Then I started loudly warning others in the crowd. He just slathered off into the sea of people, like the snake he was. I learned a new word that day, frotteurism.
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Should be given a ticket straight to the mines right after