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barnaclej.bsky.social
Can fart the alphabet …probably. I am husband and wife to my bisexual cat. I’m not the son of Dick Butkus NFL player, real person and legend.
185 posts 39 followers 114 following
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Posts 30 Comments 20

The moron wanted garbanzos. Dumb ass!!!

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

My Dad ate a nutthorn and he’s really paying for it right now. Two toilets ruined. I’m so glad I’m rich.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Do we always need someone watching the stove or is that just Stoveman!??

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Here’s the thing I don’t get about vegan food. How many vegans did they have to kill to make all these impossible burgers ?

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

What if we are sideways. What if our left arm is our leg

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

@omgitsemilyward.bsky.social are you gonna call in?

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

I might just be done

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

Smart phones are now dumb phones based on how long it took me to write this message !!! And how many times I had to correct it !

submitted 130 days ago • 1 comment

Remember when you said the love you take is equal to the love you make? … that was awesome

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

Tonight’s episode of VIP with @vicmmic.bsky.social and @pftompkins.bsky.social had me crying in my pasta! I’ve watched it 3 times so far. It is possibly the funniest half hour of tv ever. And all VIP episodes are incredibly funny.

submitted 133 days ago • 0 comments

My elbows ache for a rubbin

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

My eyeballs are ready

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

My couch is a prison with all the tv and an asshole cat

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

I guess now you don’t even have to ask.You can just be a horrible gros boy?!

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

I have finally become a micro plastic.

submitted 136 days ago • 0 comments

Things are so stressful right now I’m gaining weight in my feet

submitted 136 days ago • 0 comments

Let’s get this straight , if you think it’s extreme leftest to just care about other humans you can just fuck right off!!

submitted 138 days ago • 0 comments

Ghost Rider isn’t riding with anyone.

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

Now it totally makes sense why Yoda just fucked off to Dagobah.

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

I know the vacuum cleaner man , he’s seen my tits.

submitted 144 days ago • 0 comments

Things just don’t burn at both ends, but there are a lot of factors including where Is that fire even coming from. Both ends! ? I doubt it !

submitted 145 days ago • 0 comments

Does anyone ever have an ouroboros of piss bubbles? I think it’s pretty cool.

submitted 149 days ago • 0 comments

My knee caps are shaking for revolution right now

submitted 150 days ago • 0 comments

We can’t just move on. We have to destroy it.

submitted 155 days ago • 0 comments

Dick-tater blocked our Veterans! What a guy. 🤦‍♀️ @votevets.org

submitted 155 days ago • 5 comments

You couldn’t start an onlyfans if all you had was giant lucious balls… could you ?

submitted 155 days ago • 0 comments

Does anyone ever say their spirit animal is a Camel? Like you would totally store water in your back humps and be a travel slave to humans in the dessert ? C’mon. Give me a break.

submitted 158 days ago • 0 comments

I just realized I’m a brittled bone human boy

submitted 160 days ago • 0 comments

My toes all move at the same time and I don’t know how I’m controlling that TBH

submitted 162 days ago • 0 comments

Why are helicopters?

submitted 162 days ago • 0 comments