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bishopcognac.bsky.social

Hop-Scotch champ, yodelling expert, skip to my loo ambassador, "Dad Joke" connoisseur, sayer of fuckery, AND.. accomplished taker of naps. Blah blah, yada yada, extra jibber jabbah. Go wash ur bellybutton!

8,762 posts 693 followers 418 following

Posts 37 Comments 13

With a display that epitomized her relentlessness on the biggest stages, Coco Gauff knocked Madison Keys out of the French Open. In a contest of who could keep the ball on the court the most, Gauff was better when she needed to be, toppling the Australian Open champion 6-7(6) 6-4, 6-2.

submitted 1 hour ago • 2 comments

Every body start Tek Weh Yourself Fa lah di riddim and Tek Weh Yourself is really a key. 🔑

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

#WearHerEssenceOnYourUpperLipWednesday 😌

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

On the treadmill earlier.... and this woman decided to use the treadmill next to me (Bear in the mind, the gym had just opened)... She smelled like onions, boiled cabbage, and cheesy, ass soup. SMMFH. I was so conflicted while running, like.. DO I even need to breathe? Is oxygen, THAT important?

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

"We ain't getting no younger.. Girl we might as well do it" Is a HORRIBLE wedding proposal... and I will die on this hill. 🤣🤣🤣 Sound like he wanted her to "Settle". Yup... 'Let's Get Married' is "Settling" song. 😂😭 I'm here on said hill, waiting for any opinions, to the contrary.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

Nobody: Me, if I ever see people doing coke around me:

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

I really felt your annoyance, through the screen though 💀

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

Nah... We get gangster moths. Ok, I tried to make it sound better, and failed spectacularly. 🤣🤣🤣 Yes.. Yes we do get butterflies.

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

Fellas... Just do the things she likes. It's not hard.. I promise you. Pay close attention to her.. ...And I'm talking mentally, emotionally, and physically.

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

I went in Tesco for tea... Just, tea... and I ended up spending £106.83 Smh.. Imma need the "Cost of living" to come outside, real quick. I just wanna talk... I swear.

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

Ok... 100 "Oh HELL NAH's" vs A Moose

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

100 Gossips vs 1 Shut the fuck up

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

One thing I'm gonna ALWAYS do, is reskeet my jokes. 🤷🏿‍♂️ Followers: "Ugh... We KNOW nigga. 🙄"

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

Me trying to hit that key change, in 'Love On Top'

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

The first one backed up like.. "Woah.. You gonna do sutten?! Well make a move then!"

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

#WearHerEssenceOnYourUpperLipWednesday 😌

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

On the treadmill earlier.... and this woman decided to use the treadmill next to me (Bear in the mind, the gym had just opened)... She smelled like onions, boiled cabbage, and cheesy, ass soup. SMMFH. I was so conflicted while running, like.. DO I even need to breathe? Is oxygen, THAT important?

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

"We ain't getting no younger.. Girl we might as well do it" Is a HORRIBLE wedding proposal... and I will die on this hill. 🤣🤣🤣 Sound like he wanted her to "Settle". Yup... 'Let's Get Married' is "Settling" song. 😂😭 I'm here on said hill, waiting for any opinions, to the contrary.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

This is the type of music I listen to in the gym. On the treadmill, in between weight sets... Core work... All of it... Extra sexy 🤣😭

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

Just adding some pics I like to my media. Don't mind me.

submitted 89 days ago • 1 comment

The changing mat 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Me trying to hit that key change, in 'Love On Top'

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

Cardi B: Offset: "She's a pass around"

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Nobody: Me, if I ever see people doing coke around me:

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

That time when The Punisher was under pressure, and he decided to sing an RNB classic... Instead of using violence

submitted 199 days ago • 0 comments

I don't know how these dudes are persistent, or "Apply pressure" when perusing a love interest... Because I try ONCE, and if I'm told no... I'll wish you all the best, and tell you to have a nice day. I'm not trying to convince you to give me your number. No way 😂😂😂

submitted 136 days ago • 1 comment

“Being a man with common sense is to exist in a constant state of second-hand embarrassment.” - Me

submitted 23 hours ago • 14 comments

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

Her: "I like guys who know karate.." Me:

submitted 167 days ago • 0 comments

I do NOT play about the women in my life. Ever. My Wife, Daughter, Mother, Sisters, Auntie's... Girl cousins.. Girl friends... NONE of them, will be even remotely disrespected... In MY presence.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Felt.

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

Nobody: Whitney Houston, tallying up that man's credit card receipt:

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

With a display that epitomized her relentlessness on the biggest stages, Coco Gauff knocked Madison Keys out of the French Open. In a contest of who could keep the ball on the court the most, Gauff was better when she needed to be, toppling the Australian Open champion 6-7(6) 6-4, 6-2.

Every body start Tek Weh Yourself Fa lah di riddim and Tek Weh Yourself is really a key. 🔑

#WearHerEssenceOnYourUpperLipWednesday 😌

On the treadmill earlier.... and this woman decided to use the treadmill next to me (Bear in the mind, the gym had just opened)... She smelled like onions, boiled cabbage, and cheesy, ass soup. SMMFH. I was so conflicted while running, like.. DO I even need to breathe? Is oxygen, THAT important?

"We ain't getting no younger.. Girl we might as well do it" Is a HORRIBLE wedding proposal... and I will die on this hill. 🤣🤣🤣 Sound like he wanted her to "Settle". Yup... 'Let's Get Married' is "Settling" song. 😂😭 I'm here on said hill, waiting for any opinions, to the contrary.

Nobody: Me, if I ever see people doing coke around me:

I really felt your annoyance, through the screen though 💀

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nah... We get gangster moths. Ok, I tried to make it sound better, and failed spectacularly. 🤣🤣🤣 Yes.. Yes we do get butterflies.

Fellas... Just do the things she likes. It's not hard.. I promise you. Pay close attention to her.. ...And I'm talking mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I went in Tesco for tea... Just, tea... and I ended up spending £106.83 Smh.. Imma need the "Cost of living" to come outside, real quick. I just wanna talk... I swear.

Ok... 100 "Oh HELL NAH's" vs A Moose

100 Gossips vs 1 Shut the fuck up

One thing I'm gonna ALWAYS do, is reskeet my jokes. 🤷🏿‍♂️ Followers: "Ugh... We KNOW nigga. 🙄"

Me trying to hit that key change, in 'Love On Top'

The first one backed up like.. "Woah.. You gonna do sutten?! Well make a move then!"

#WearHerEssenceOnYourUpperLipWednesday 😌

On the treadmill earlier.... and this woman decided to use the treadmill next to me (Bear in the mind, the gym had just opened)... She smelled like onions, boiled cabbage, and cheesy, ass soup. SMMFH. I was so conflicted while running, like.. DO I even need to breathe? Is oxygen, THAT important?

"We ain't getting no younger.. Girl we might as well do it" Is a HORRIBLE wedding proposal... and I will die on this hill. 🤣🤣🤣 Sound like he wanted her to "Settle". Yup... 'Let's Get Married' is "Settling" song. 😂😭 I'm here on said hill, waiting for any opinions, to the contrary.

This is the type of music I listen to in the gym. On the treadmill, in between weight sets... Core work... All of it... Extra sexy 🤣😭

Just adding some pics I like to my media. Don't mind me.

The changing mat 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣

Me trying to hit that key change, in 'Love On Top'

Cardi B: Offset: "She's a pass around"

Nobody: Me, if I ever see people doing coke around me:

That time when The Punisher was under pressure, and he decided to sing an RNB classic... Instead of using violence

I don't know how these dudes are persistent, or "Apply pressure" when perusing a love interest... Because I try ONCE, and if I'm told no... I'll wish you all the best, and tell you to have a nice day. I'm not trying to convince you to give me your number. No way 😂😂😂

“Being a man with common sense is to exist in a constant state of second-hand embarrassment.” - Me

Her: "I like guys who know karate.." Me:

I do NOT play about the women in my life. Ever. My Wife, Daughter, Mother, Sisters, Auntie's... Girl cousins.. Girl friends... NONE of them, will be even remotely disrespected... In MY presence.

Felt.

Nobody: Whitney Houston, tallying up that man's credit card receipt:

After Preacher Boy put his mouth on her, Pearline hit that stage like.... #Sinners

YES

Trey Blox been skipping leg day, since birth 🤣😭

Nobody: Podcast mics: