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brandomonium.bsky.social
That one dude that says things and stuff My shtuff https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:f3isqq37mblskjkdl5csji66/feed/aaab5hro4xqjs
1,058 posts 4,179 followers 746 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 41 Comments 9

Me, when I find Nemo (He owes me $18)

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

I would switch to only posting on LinkedIn but they don't get my jokes and don't care about my observations (just like here but fewer views)

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

(wearing a sleeveless denim vest and smoking a cigarette) more fingers should be middle fingers

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

running around the wild west complaining I'm the rowdiest cowboy but hey why didn't anyone teach me to ride a horse

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

new migraine treatment just dropped

submitted 2 days ago • 49 comments

there's a gas station chain called "Kum & Go" but I can't make lighthearted death threats on the internet? cool country we got here

submitted 2 days ago • 20 comments

“canker sore” sounds like the most annoying reptile of the Cretaceous

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

HEY YOU 🫵 wanna follow some funny folks you may not have seen floating around The Sky yet? here are some of my favorite posters with under 10k followers DM me if you want me to remove you 🥰

submitted 2 days ago • 60 comments

is it banana tell me it's banana

submitted 5 days ago • 59 comments

you come to me, on the day of my daughter's dogs 3rd birthday

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

can someone give me $20,000, I need to buy Cheetos and then also have $19,994 leftover

submitted 6 days ago • 26 comments

texting all my ex-boyfriends "happy father's day ❤️" with a photo of a random child

submitted 7 days ago • 42 comments

matcha is really good for when you want to lick dirt but there’s no dirt around

submitted 7 days ago • 17 comments

Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started

submitted 9 days ago • 619 comments

Forever and always missing you

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

learn to fuckin’ drive, ya’ moron!!!!

submitted 10 days ago • 7 comments

i asked someone if they wanted to be my boyfriend and he replied "lol" is that good

submitted 10 days ago • 43 comments

I would like to pass away now

submitted 10 days ago • 26 comments

See it (a horse) Say it ("horse!") Sorted (everyone else now has the opportunity to behold the horse)

submitted 11 days ago • 17 comments

me when i get my nails done

submitted 11 days ago • 5 comments

I personally think 25ft tall scorpions could fix so many of today's problems

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

HOLD YOUR FUCKING HORSES IT TAKES ME A FEW PRACTICE SKEETS TO DO A GOOD ONE FUCK

submitted 16 days ago • 8 comments

Saw that CNN has a new show called Eva Longoria: Searching for Spain and I really hope it’s just her pointing to places on a map and someone saying no

submitted 13 days ago • 56 comments

having a whole life where I mean to say something relatable but instead I say something that warrants a wellness check

submitted 15 days ago • 21 comments

These kids opened a lemonade stand where I have MY lemonade stand and I kicked them little shits off my corner like Avon fucken Barksdale

submitted 14 days ago • 6 comments

changing my flight so I can engage with the discourse in a timely manner

submitted 19 days ago • 10 comments

it’s so sad. they make this cat work so hard

submitted 20 days ago • 33 comments

if you’re bisexual is it sex twice a week or every 2 weeks I always forget

submitted 20 days ago • 45 comments

unhand me

submitted 21 days ago • 10 comments

Do you have any games on your phone?

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

Ok which one of you bozos is gonna make me pancakes cuz I’m sure not gonna do it

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Any arrangement is edible if you’re hungry enough.

submitted 21 days ago • 3 comments

Spent millions in R&D developing a torch that doesn't swish when you wave it in a dark corner trying to see who goes there. Now the castle guards all say they "miss the swish"

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

I fell yesterday and yelled, "Now I have to start over!" No one understood I meant the safety sign in my head that has been reset to zero days since my last accident

submitted 22 days ago • 26 comments

Does a goose drive this vibe?

submitted 22 days ago • 23 comments

*about to get roughed up by some mobsters I owe money* please no, that's my posting thumb

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

[seeing someone I know I'm public that I don't want to talk to] OMG, this is irl "people you may know"

submitted 23 days ago • 3 comments

My favorite thing about Bluesky is that I can see one guy blocked me for NOT being porn

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

can the astrology people tell me what it means when someone keeps putting on their underwear inside out?

submitted 23 days ago • 26 comments

letting my newborn spend a lot of time in the sewers hoping they learn martial arts

submitted 25 days ago • 14 comments

Got fired from the drive thru for telling customers “The root of your suffering is your desire”

submitted 23 days ago • 12 comments