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crashtestdrummy.bsky.social
IT geek, drummer, nerd. Bring bourbon. @eternathyme is my better half. he/him Posts ⬇️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ttlfqus3w4iveljfl2ozgvd6/feed/aaambnxc7aaju Bangers ⬇️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ttlfqus3w4iveljfl2ozgvd6/feed/aaagvmkvcqn6i
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Posts 36 Comments 12

Proof of life, and barber day selfie. Carry on, nothing to see here.

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

We've finally reached a decade when I can say I listen to music from the '20s to the '20s.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Men are too emotional to lead

submitted 31 days ago • 26 comments

Just popping in to make sure y'all are posting the appropriate amount of papal jokes. Carry on.

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

What it's like to live in Arkansas: Two days ago it was 80°F and there were tornado warnings. Today the high was 45°F and there are frost warnings.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

I took a Viagra this morning, but it got stuck in my throat. I've had a stiff neck all day.

submitted 52 days ago • 2 comments

All of us in Central Arkansas are making our tornado preparations* right now. *Icing down cases of beer and setting up our lawn chairs in the yard

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Pardon all the bourbon. I really thought they said Libation Day.

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

Gigging in your 40s: "Hey, you played a great show!" "Thanks, I'm going to be recovering on ibuprofen and IcyHot for 6 days."

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

You're in her DMs. I am in her Signal chat group reading real-time, classified attack plans. We're not the same.

submitted 63 days ago • 2 comments

Wife: I'm ready to blow off steam. Me: Hi, I'm steam.

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

I don't use my account in a few months and it gets overrun with bots. It's the bsky equivalent of cobwebs.

submitted 83 days ago • 1 comment

Dear Canadian neighbors: We didn't want this. We didn't vote for that fuckhead. We love y'all. - 75 million terrified Americans

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah, I skeet from my all personalities.

submitted 170 days ago • 1 comment

I could never be on Wheel of Fortune. Those people are so cheerful when they hit a bad space on the wheel. I'd hit Bankrupt and be like, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I HAD TEN THOUSAND GOD DAMN DOLLARS, RYAN. MOTHER FUCKER.

submitted 116 days ago • 1 comment

“Mama wake up! We have to beat this divine beast real quick!” - My Zelda obsessed 4-year old first thing this morning

submitted 116 days ago • 6 comments

On an atomic level, the human body is 99.9999999% empty space so I'm thinking about setting up an Airbnb in there.

submitted 116 days ago • 16 comments

C3PO's full name is Chief 3 Purchasing Officer

submitted 132 days ago • 6 comments

I don’t want to alarm anyone but I’m starting to think people tell lies on the internet.

submitted 133 days ago • 34 comments

A guy I was jealous of in college looks dumb and old now, so I'm good.

submitted 133 days ago • 6 comments

Text “STOP” to stop the world and melt with me.

submitted 157 days ago • 8 comments

In hell, everyone explains your joke.

submitted 130 days ago • 10 comments

After being sequestered for several days due to snow and ice, it's refreshing to know that still not a one of you can drive.

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

All you babes that fawned over Eros and Psyche in middle school, how's your mask kink going?

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

I think my house is haunted. Must be a ghost's native eek-o-system

submitted 132 days ago • 0 comments

The older I get the more I can relate to people who live in the middle of nowhere.

submitted 132 days ago • 5 comments

I keep a cyanide pill in my pocket as an escape plan for when someone starts showing me their vacation photos.

submitted 133 days ago • 29 comments

I think there's a law that says you have to post a selfie after you visit the barber.

submitted 132 days ago • 6 comments

In a world full of Blanches, be a Sophia.

submitted 134 days ago • 3 comments

I will not watch the inauguration. Those demanding you should are outrage merchants who get boners from watching others suffer. Nobody needs further proof that this country is a fucken joke run by oligarchs who have convinced ignorant White people to blame immigrants, women and PoC for everything.

submitted 134 days ago • 6 comments

Hello! Is it me you're looking for? *my sanity, probably

submitted 134 days ago • 9 comments

Apparently it's a real mood killer when you grab a flashlight and put on reading glasses to find the clit.

submitted 134 days ago • 32 comments

Do you think giving a girl a lap dance to "butterfly" by Crazy Town is too much for a first date or am I okay

submitted 134 days ago • 3 comments

I'm glad I'm not a superhero. I'd see the signal in the sky and say, "GODDAMMIT I JUST TOOK OFF MY SHOES. Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS ARE SCREWED."

submitted 134 days ago • 1 comment

My fortune cookie said "match their respect and double their disrespect" and i think a snack just told me to murder a rival mafia crime family.

submitted 134 days ago • 5 comments

BREAKING NEWS: Today I used a piece of wood that I kept in my garage since 2008 in case I might one day need it.

submitted 135 days ago • 597 comments