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crillybystal.bsky.social
Being on a new social media platform is the best thing that ever happened to me
1,647 posts 78 followers 72 following
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Posts 14 Comments 36

Holy shit I’m the new pope. Didn’t even know I was up for it. I’m gonna be pope Goku

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

My boss reacted to an anecdote in which me reading a book in German was a plot point. She was like “you read a whole book in German??” This woman knows what my major was. What did she think we did all day? Learn the colors and the numbers?

submitted 47 days ago • 1 comment

Nothing is happening right now on X, the everything app

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Let’s stir some shit up. If you can’t walk on the escalator don’t take the escalator

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

Tv interviewer: so, you say your undergraduate degree is in… German? Do you regret that? Me: you seem to have supple skin. Very very supple skin

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

I got banned from Twitter for saying I killed someone who died before I was born. Could the cops do anything if I cop to a murder from forever ago? Fuck it, DB Cooper came to my home and asked for help. I strangled him and buried his body This will be a fun experiment

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

Boss told me that English couldn’t be beautiful unless you were Scott Fitzgerald (sic)

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

I cannot make any tweets on x, the everything platform for a fuckin week because I told a mufo to eat ice cream with a knife instead of chopsticks (as was pictured in his post)

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments

Several years ago I was in a group chat with an underage kid. He’s a teacher now. Time flies. We’re still in the chat

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

Yo dude, hold on! I don’t want you to eat your hat. I’m pretty sure you’re wrong and I’m right but that’s an insane thing to put on the line. Just buy me a coffee or a beer, depending on the time of day

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve got it made in the shade now

submitted 169 days ago • 0 comments

Teens etc.

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Woof! My armpit smells like a PUSSY

submitted 172 days ago • 0 comments

Twitter is noticeably worse even like in the last work week

submitted 178 days ago • 0 comments