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danhershfield.bsky.social
Writer, because "aspiring fromager" don't pay the pickle man!
344 posts 231 followers 252 following
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Just a quick reminder that Tucker Carlson is not your friend and knowing the Wikipedia answers to questions YOU ASK doesn't make you smart or even knowledgeable. Sometimes, the enemy of my enemy is still an asshole.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

“It should be illegal for you to be mean to me and legal for me to kill you” is basically the Republican platform.

submitted 1 day ago • 23 comments

are those my only two choices?

submitted 7 days ago • 88 comments

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Because they're also names, it's possible to complete a sexual EGOT... but please don't use your own Grammy!

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

And Alexander wept, For there were no more worlds to conquer, And also the K-hole and no one liking him.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I still think this is one of the most gutting notes I’ve ever read.

submitted 14 days ago • 65 comments

If you're wondering how long Tom Cruise has been doing his own stunts, it's roughly Suri's age plus nine months.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTfb...

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Say what you will about King Lear, but at least he managed iambic pentameter.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Just a little reminder for all the international students out there.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Smitten kittens aren't nearly as cute when they become smat cats.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Teachers and nurses, sure, but we also don't pay retirement home workers enough.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

How about letting Shoeless Joe into the Hall of Fame, but using Ray Liotta's likeness?

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

Fired a black person who was qualified, hired a white person with no qualifications whatsoever. The Trump administration in a nutshell bsky.app/profile/axio...

submitted 37 days ago • 264 comments

"Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day." "Woo hoo! He said that day may never come! I'm ethically in the clear!"

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Hard to believe there are problems with the agency full of people who wanted to be in law enforcement but worried it wouldn't be racist enough.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

They said saving all my Chicago Hope merch was a waste of time. Well, me and my sharpie are about to have a bunch of Chicago Pope swag, and you've got nothing!

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

"They put one of yours in Purgatory, you put one of theirs in Hell. That's the Chicago Pope way."

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Ooh, an American Pope! Time to brush up on our Pig Latin!

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

ok now we got entering *and* leaving the room all covered

submitted 45 days ago • 33 comments

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Guess it's worth putting this on the record: I do NOT posthumously forgive anyone who kills me.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

By executive order, it's now Cinco de Mayonnaise.

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

🎵 FROM YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE TO YOUR LAST DYING DAY! 🎵

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Wonder what those two Corinthians think...

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Been having a debate in my own head about which implication here is more fucking stupid: A) Every fentanyl pill that enters the U.S. kills five people, or B) If unchecked, fentanyl would kill every living person in America in less than one year It's close, but I think it's A).

submitted 48 days ago • 123 comments

Accent pieces: classy when they're decor, unclassy when they're comedy bits.

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

If the Biden economy was so strong, then how come it only took Trump a couple months to wreck it?

submitted 49 days ago • 24 comments

A broken man is right twice a day.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

I'm glad I advance-voted, but there's something to be said for giving that 'day of' itch a little scratch. So, I guess... booze?

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

A clear sign of the times: Chubby Checker got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, while Svelte Chess didn't!

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine if Ten Things I Hate About You was about the COMMANDMENTS!!

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

It being Earth Day, I should go outside at some point... or I could watch an Eartha Kitt Batman episode!

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

🎵 You're a Jet all the way... 🎵

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone who wants to discuss Winnipeg Jets franchise records should have at least a passing familiarity with the Ship of Theseus.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

You need to get someone something for their birthday? Piece of cake.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Here's hoping the 'buck a beer' voters remember which party wants to kill the free hockey channel!

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

🎵 When you're a Jet... 🎵

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments