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dansheehan.bsky.social
Former very online guy now writing about the death of the internet in real time. I've written books (I AM NOT A WOLF), games (Magic: The Gathering, Who's A Good Boy), and jokes (The Onion, my beautiful posts) Contact: https://dansheehan.co/contact-me
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They used this excuse at the UCLA protests too, they put the riot cops behind a layer of security guys and acted like the security was there to help the students. Absolute joke to anyone who could see them in action

Our government is such a joke man what do you mean you held a vote on whether or not to say thank you to cops, get a real job

Freckles and moles are so funny, oh having a body wasn’t high maintenance enough for you? Guess what, it’s playing Russian roulette with itself

There's this interesting thing in America (very litigious place) where a guy wants to start a fight but is trying to goad the other guy into throwing the first punch so that he's not legally on the hook. Seems like Trump's attack on LA is just this at scale. It's all just a big taunt.

and introducing...little earthquake

Societally and spiritually, we broke things beyond repair when it became possible to buy a bird at the store

More and more doctors are saying that seeing tons of posts and articles from various slack-jawed oafs begging for cops to open fire on civilians in your city is "mondo bad for your brain, friendo"

The Kickstarter campaign for "Who's a Good Boy?" launches in one week!!! Look at these beautiful beautiful proofs!!! 😘🤌 dogscansin.com

The most talented human on earth, @logandean.games , did the layouts on these. APPLAUSE!

We launch one week from today and some card proofs just arrived! Look at these beauties

Sometimes if I pass through Julia’s office while Parm’s taking his afternoon nap he’ll relocate ever so slightly to me and then collapse at my feet

Have you considered that the best way to get back at this administration is by purchasing consumer goods and having huge level up moments at your job?

I never develop more specific grievances with strangers than I do at the grocery store

I need y’all to come to terms with the fact that this isn’t going to be pretty. It’s not going to be permitted protests and pussy hats. This is a war against a violent fascist regime. And if everyone’s biggest concern is the property damage, we’re going to lose.

Kinda love when you debunk a text scammer and they’re like “okay yeah that didn’t work but can I try one additional scam on you”

I think it really does betray the democrat mindset when people see a protest that erupted spontaneously from people being fed up with ICE and saying “you guys gotta focus group this thing, you’ve gotta sand down that wild passion and start middle of the roaring this shit”

for context here’s a map of greater Los Angeles and the protest is the roughly the red circle

J.K. Rowling Announces She No Longer Transphobic After Attending Cincinnati Pride And Winning A Free Cell Phone Charger From A Bisexual Realtor’s Booth theonion.com/j-k-row...

What's going on in LA should be a real wakeup call for folks who don't already know that a fully liberal government can still wind up a police state and without some major change to the way we talk about the militarization of policing, nothing will get better

One box of regular pasta: dinner for 4-5, easy peasy One box of orzo; Dinner for one thousand hungry soldiers, a dinner that reproduces asexually, creating yet more dinner, an amount of pasta that makes you believe in the loaves and fishes story

As of today, we've entered "the baby can basically show up whenever" mode so I now call upon people with kids to tell me what they wish they'd done with their last 2-3 weeks of non-parent time. If you respond with a joke, a laser will be fired upon you from space.

Julia made a size chart for the Who's A Good Boy dogs for reference but it makes it look like they all got arrested for a crime

My strategic advice for Democrats when it comes to reaching non-voters is to not make every election feel like a battle between your landlord and his handyman who never actually fixes anything

Julia made a size chart for the Who's A Good Boy dogs for reference but it makes it look like they all got arrested for a crime

One time my dad saw a car for sale on a guy’s lawn in Wisconsin and thought it was a car that could transition into being a boat (???) so he told the guy he’d love to “buy this thing and drive it straight into the lake” which must’ve seemed like a massive power move at the time