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dpaux.bsky.social
Chest hair and legs apparently
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Wow pride really is a protest.

Liberate us… from our democratically elected government?? Got it. Thought you were here to keep the peace? These people can sincerely get fucked.

Deleted THOSE apps… for my mental health

tfw you go to Europe and then immediately get the plague for two weeks so you haven’t been to go to the gym for three whole weeks and then you go two days in a row and convince yourself that you are at peak physical form only to probably get inevitably sick again because it’s pride.

Head bitch at the gapey saloon is sending me

They don’t know that I’m a manger on the bewitched YouTube channel

Help me and my coworkers poop cycles have synced

Like serious how do some gay travel and party and fuck and work so much without constantly being ill?? Drop your tips below.

A straight wedding AND a head cold for pride weekend. Karma’s got his kiss for me.

did someone order shrimp cocktail?

going to need a moratorium on straight people getting married during pride

Posted this on Instagram and quickly learned that a surprising amount of guys are horny for kilts.

Airport discourse summarized in the group text 😂

lol flight to London got canceled and they tried to rebook me on this nightmare rotation. Nice try!!

Shout out to my boy Norman Lear. Couldn’t have done this without you.

Just as the straight friend’s wedding circuit starts to slow down we enter directly into the younger cousin’s wedding cycle immediately after 😩

Friday more like friYAY am I right ladies?

thinking about how my elementary school principal claimed to be p. diddy’s cousin and would announce over the loud speaker when he won awards.

lol just called my parents while they were blazed af.

Judy Garland used to do coke here (probably)

low key kinda ate this work fit

Feeling anxious. Will a new tattoo fix me?

Nobody: Sniffies Spam Messages: Hay want to give blow in tight ass come on over here

You know Phoenix is messaging boys on grindr like Hi Hey there 👋 Hi handsome

I’m sorry but if you hate Vampire Weekend you’re a fucking nerd.

🥩

My first words if I were Pope: “Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper” Lemonade 12-3:20

Ru vealllll yourself

Yeehaw

Tryna Monica Lewinsky all over your gown

Are you mad at me?