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drakyn.bsky.social
Union Carpenter. Local Landmark. Stories about me are probably true but I tell them better.
2,120 posts 324 followers 177 following
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Posts 16 Comments 34

Random lady: Boy it is HOT today. Toddler: oh yah it is hot today. My daddy hot too. That why Mama married him

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

Found a cool snail

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

scrolling past something about Elon's corpus and thinking "Maybe that's a typo?"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Turns out the toddler's facial Palsey is caused by Lymes disease, but because it was exacerbated by the weeks of not sleeping we noticed the FP extremely early and hopefully caught it in time Poor kid, steroids finally let her sleep for 2 nights and now she has to start antibiotics

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

toddler was rightly refusing to drink some nasty-tasting medicine, so we mixed it with ginger ale and got out the shot glasses and damn this kid can hang

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Overheard the elevator operators say that they wish they had a shelf so I surprised them with one thinking it would be for their lunchboxes, water what-have-you They've turned it into a shrine to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Saw a camouflage-wrapped cybertruck and yah buddy, I'd try to hide too

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Oh, your kids got you a coffee mug for father's day? that's cute

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Watching the Nancy Drew movie and she just threw a bomb into a manhole with construction signs so I'm pretty sure she just murdered an entire work crew This is why hole watch is an important job

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Ice T is a Kangaroo in this fun action romp!

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Ah, I was wondering what they meant by Hero Cops

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

RT if you love boobs or if you think ICE should be abolished

submitted 16 days ago • 77 comments

I think I'm gonna become a "wink" guy. I see no way that this would cause problems for my autistic ass

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

It's gonna be really funny in 2 weeks when trump endorses Cuomo

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

At auto parts store l Me: I need an AC service cap Clerk: A what? *5 minutes later* Clerk: We don't sell those Me: Alright I'll order it on O'Reilly's Clerk: Where? Me: O'Reilleys. Y'know, the website Clerk: Oh. Yah, I'm not from the area so I wouldn't know it

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Toddler: My blocks fell down! Me: Was it an affront to God and thus struck down for your hubris Toddler: Yeah......

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments