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etbabuser.bsky.social
I play mtg. I watch sports. That's PRO BOWLER GARDNER MINSHEW II TO YOU
58 posts 8 followers 27 following
Prolific Poster

I think my favorite part of introducing people to bluesky is the look of utter horror on their faces as they slowly realize you are unironically calling them skeets

Impersonating a cop is hard. Being a cop and doing bad shit is easy. Just sayin

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

Walking up to visitors at church with my partner and saying "we were looking at you from across the sanctuary and we really liked your vibe..."

If stealers wheel wrote the song today, guess it would be: clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Stuck in the group chat with you

Man as someone who has inadvertently sent a text to the wrong person and it cost me my job, it took less than 4 hours for me to lose my job

This signal thing really reminds you about how Mussolini did not, in fact, make the trains run on time

Remembering that one time I told a girl who was a graphic design major at Clemson that I had once pirated a copy of Photoshop. She looked at me like I had just told her that I club puppies. I really did not expect such reverence for paying for Adobe

Conan looks like Mrs doubtfire

Man I haven't used short form posting in so long, character limits feel like a new structure

It's not uncommon for me to first be exposed to name brand fashion in music, which means sometimes I don't realize it is its own brand, not part of a "cinematic universe" or whatev This is how I spent 15 minutes thinking a woman in a waffle House wearing a von Dutch jacket was a huge charli xcx fan

Thinking about how my mom once confronted me about posting about doing drugs because I made a Facebook post about dabbing (the dance) meanwhile she's out here posting comments about how she loves a good BJ (Billy Joel) song

Do you ever think about the fact that the Glock logo makes it look like a store is an "authorized cock dealer"

When someone says have a seat, you sit in their chair. I say "no thanks, I prefer to stand." We are not the same

The jags: Liam coen, we want YOU to be our next head coach! Liam coen: who all over there??

Ahhh help I'm trapped in a relationship and I can't get out

It's a testament to how awful this season has been that I didn't even celebrate Titans hate week

Why does Clemson want to leave the ACC again?

Ok the belichick to UNC news has to be a joke right

In other news I really wish tech would have beaten uga

I mean is the only joke in this show racism or sexism? What are we supposed to be laughing at?

I have long debated whether or not I should consider liking the office a dealbreaker in a relationship and frankly I'm increasingly leaning towards yes

Every time I watch the office, I like it less

You progressives want such out of touch unreasonable things, look, we nominated a woman who ran as a late 90s Republican and she lost 14 million votes from the Biden campaign, clearly all progressive ideas are bad because a woman lost

I think all dogs are communists

"Tim Walz you have 23 seconds...* *Gutturally* "can I have it" *Excitedly* "yeah!" That will be a TikTok sound tomorrow

"Mexico, the cause of, and solution to, life's problems" -JD Simpson

Oh shit I have a follower now nice

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #2,872,879!

"why did he get 3 and a half million dollars from the mayor of Moscows wife?" Cause he gives a great mustache ride, idk what to tell you man

Oh. My. God. "I have concepts of a plan" what an incredible way of sounding like a moron

"nobody ever thinks about the fact that [Russia] has nuclear weapons!" ...hmm. yes we have famously not paid any attention to that

When I was president the middle east had no money for TARA!...Reid's filmography

There's a national trans criminal organization??

Shi's pronouns are he/him

I don't know if saying it was the worst pandemic since the 1917 flu is really the "look how good I did" response that trump thought it was

All arguments in favor of Trevor start off with, "if you just ignore his stats"

Hahahah yeah so glad I have Trevor instead of Gardner minshew on my team haaaahhhhaah

Seriously though, while I have no one here to read this stuff. God Trevor sucks so much! It is the biggest copium in the world to try and talk yourself into him. If he were actually good, you wouldn't have to work this hard to convince yourself that if you squint and tilt your head that he's the guy

Trevor wins a super bowl as another team's backup and the jags flounder in mediocrity for the rest of existence

After another middling season in which it's increasingly clear that while Trevor is perfectly serviceable, he's just not a franchise QB (something that should be incredibly clear to anyone who has ever watched him play...) Trent and doug are fired and the new guy ships Trevor off to somewhere

After looking at the schedule for this upcoming season, I optimistically predict the jaguars go 8-9, MAAYYYBEE 9-8 (I don't really see a path to 9 victories but weirder things have happened). This is enough to buy Trent and doug one more year at the helm