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hawktuahofordos.bsky.social
Do YOU have any dark theories about the Simpsons? Please let us know
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Dark Simpson Theory 010: Was Bart’s secret twin Hugo based off of Matt Groening’s hidden twin brother he keeps in his attic? Yes! He’s said so publicly. Leave your thoughts below 👇

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

I don’t just like sucking peen, I LOVE IT And if I don’t love it… then I don’t… swallow

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I know it’s not how they do it in Italy but I like adding a little bit of splooge to my Alfredo

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

There is only one way a white boy can become soulful Lichdom

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

I was the piggy in the middle for five whole years. People don’t think about the consequences of their actions

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

Guys, are my Simpson theories too dark? I’m sorry…

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

Dark Simpson Theory 009: Why was Roy written out of the show so quickly? The state of the union address was broadcast just 5 days before…. Does Bill Clinton Hate Roy? Leave your thoughts below 👇

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Nobody ever told me why Link was in park

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I’m still looking for Luigi in Mario 64 I won’t give in to hate

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Couldn’t quit jelquing despite seeing no results Call that shit the sunk cock fallacy

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I’m so out of touch, can you go get me more I need touch.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Brass bull? Buddy, I’ve seen your posts. You’re not sigma We putting you in the brass paypig

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

All the white kids wrote slam poetry about me today. I can’t take it anymore I don’t see a way out.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I was the last guy who was doing mooning Honestly I just wanted guys to see my ass

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

They kicked me out of the Addams family because I was too woke His name not cousin Itt that’s just some cracker bullshit

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Dark Simpson Theory 008: Beloved Homer’s hair and ear resemble the initials M.G Is this a coded reference to known child molester Matt Gaetz? Leave your thoughts below 👇

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Why did Squidward suicide

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Put me in a stockade and fling goo at me It’s what I deserve.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Was stoned to death in the street last week for wearing my post-modern ironic “Pope smokes dope” T-Shirt

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t need America I’ve been giving golden dome for years

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Getting a tungsten cockring so my shit will finally hang

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Your mother is a guest lecturer at eating my ass school

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Been slathering myself with nectar cuz I heard the woodpeckers are coming out soon

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry babe, your humours are out of balance again. I gotta get the leeches

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I’m the unabomber for mentos and Diet Coke

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Burying my posts underground for the Mexican winter. DONT TOUCH

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

It was fucked up what they were doing to them Star Bellied Sneeches When will we stop the hate

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

*looking wistfully out from the boat* Ah, New York. The big penis.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Christ the lord created me to bust early and ghost her for 2 months before texting again drunk

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone else got that homie who ate the yellow snow? Talk to them. Before it’s too late.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

If satanism turns people queer call my ass a devilled egg

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

My theories… they darken….

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Dark Simpson Theory 007: Does Simpson and Futurama share the same universe? NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. THEY DONT. DONT FUCKING SAY THAT. ITS NOT TRUE. Leave your thoughts below 👇

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

If digimon are digital monsters does that imply that there are analmon (analogue monsters)

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Been eating a lot of microplastics lately so I can shit out an action man figure

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

His name is Tom Cruise and yet I’ve NEVER seen him have full blown ass out gay sex Curious…

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I stand on a bridge with my brother, he only tells the truth, I only tell lies And we both think you give the ick

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Attaching jumper cables to my dick to get it hard again after nutting while my deformed assistant igor watches

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

It’s like the old saying goes: People who live in glass houses Should die

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

That last post was so bad they putting me in the iron bull tomorrow

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Bigfoot ain’t real cuz we would have seen his cock in them photos

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Dark Simpson Theory 006: Is Maude DEAD in the Simpsons? Probably… but who killed her? Well…. what if I told you that’s the “problem” with Apu… Leave your thoughts below 👇

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Vampires need consent before they can enter your home You could at least ask twice before entering my ass pal

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Got fired from my job as a CIA intelligence asset My Simpsons theories were too dark…

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Getting in trouble at scout camp for sewing my badge over my asshole so the councillor can’t get me

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

There’s a rat that’s been hiding under my chef hat teaching me how to make Fentanyl

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Getting burned to death for witchcraft in the 1600’s cuz I did anal once and it was just okay

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve dreamed about having sex with every robot on robot wars

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

That one homie you don’t FW that grows up to become Wesley Snipes True story

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments