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itsfruitykiwi.bsky.social
a quiet solavellan, bisexual (for fictional men bc irl they’re scary), afab and every day i stray farther from it but not exactly in the transmasc direction, autistic, chronically ill, sometimes possessed by a demon of rage (i have bpd), my joints hurt
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I love my gf so much but sometimes I remember I’ll never be with an emo boy with the same taste in music and a pout that would melt the coldest heart and I die a little more inside.

My partner Thyra put together this #gofundme to help us move out of our subpar housing situation so hopefully I can get the #healthcare I need and eventually get a job to help support us. Any help at all would be so much appreciated! (Am I using #hashtags right? 😅) gofund.me/d147dd23

Will my landlord understand that 1, ESAs are not pets and are protected for housing federally, and 2, I’m allergic to cats and literally have to keep the space and cat super clean or else I’ll have a nasty allergic reaction? Let’s find out! Pray for me and Sir Goobert III, our newest addition.

I thought I stopped being attracted to my ex bc he started losing more hair but no bc actually Hugo Hamlet is hot and very much balding but my ex? Ugly bc he treated me like a booty call. If he repents he might become hot again idk but he’s young 😒 boy ain’t gonna learn.

“Radicalizing” (decolonizing) my gf day by day with my sex/gender anarchy and anti-border anti-labels idealogy. She’s only binary bc she has to identify that way to be respected. She’s basically in the second closet, like most “trans” folk.

The dysphoria leaving my body when I remember sex and gender are made up (especially gender) and I finally can sing again without hating myself

Like I miss makeup and pretty clothes and hair so much but when I look like I care about my appearance ppl assume I’m a woman so I’m stuck having to dress like a slob and I still get misgendered. Do I need a fuckin pronoun hat?? I don’t wear hats!!

I haven’t taken a single selfie since I came out bc bitches misgender me for being cute and it’s tiring

Idk if I even wanna finish veilguard if solas is just gonna break my heart again. I saw a van with his name on it (totally unrelated to him but I felt dread from seeing it regardless) in the ferry line and thought about how I didn’t see many solasmancers talking about the ending… is it worth it?

Also who was gonna tell me a trans woman’s music was making me consider presenting as cis for comfort in society? Had no clue Ethel Cain was even lgbt, I just got bisexual ex-christian vibes. Also there’s lore for her music? Hella wicked. Can’t wait to see what’s next for her.

Had a detransition panic and then drove myself further into gender anarchy like a winner. You’ll never catch me slacking for long.

i feel like coming out of the closet took away my sense of community and i don’t feel respected anymore and i might just fuckin go back and wait to turn the tv on (i still need to get around to watching that film)

i know gender is a social construct bc i’m fine with being a woman only when listening to ethel cain

praying that world states are different for the ppl who are talking about certain spoilers bc i cannot handle heartbreak from solas again. literally i was physically sick for months after inquisition i can’t finish DATV rn or i risk my already fragile mental state. i really want to though 😭

losing my mind bc i’ve got a line of a sleep token song stuck in my head but i can’t find the song it’s in despite having pretty much only listened to one album on repeat for the past few months.

saw a weather warning that said “small craft advisory” so.. am i advised to create small crafts or am i being warned that it’s small craft season? /j

i literally cannot handle side character crushes dying and ppl expect me to finish veilguard when rn in my save file everyone is alive and happy and i got endings spoiled for me way too early?? no way. it will remain unfinished until next year. let me come to terms. let me prepare my heart.

last year i got the witcher game trilogy and the first was deemed too old bad gameplay but the second was good enough, but they killed my side-character crush in the first 10 hours of the game so i heartbreak-quit and didn’t touch it. until now, bc witcher 4 announcement!!

i swear someone is hacking my spotify account to listen to joe rogan somehow bc now there’s an episode i’ve never seen with progress into it and i want it GONE omfg why can’t we block podcasts, i need to change my password wtf

my taste in music is orchestral metal, afab rage, medieval sapphic, and “i lost my love to the bog ten years ago and something came back last winter that looks like them and loves like them, but i can see something hiding in its eyes”

video games stop making mouths so wide by default challenge (impossible)

i just read “trans day of remembrance” as “titan day of remembrance” and i think it’s a sign to return to veilguard and finish the game before i start seeing the characters out of the corner of my eye.

spotify not allowing me, a pAYING CUSTOMER, to block a disgusting podcast that for no reason keeps showing up on my front page as if i listened to it recently

“womxn” users should go back to school. no gnc or nonbinary afab wants to be called that, and no woman would have an issue being called a woman. the common sense just is not there. who is the x for?? elon???

so i mute spoilers at long last but every time i see “post hidden by muted word” i am so tempted that like. what is the point? i must stay away from all the socials 🥲

tired of great games being exclusively ttrpgs. please let me play you single player i have no fuckin friends bc i made the mistake of thinking college friendships are real and will last hardship 😭😭

i’d like to say i’m taking a burnout break from datv but it’s actually bc im nearing the end of act 2 and im terrified for act 3 with how everyone is talking ab it. so uh dragons dogma time :’3

i hear him everywhere… he’s in the walls… matthew mercer… he’s in everything… he is everyone… (it doesn’t matter if he actually voices this npc in dd2 but i hear him everywhere now and it’s kinda scary)

same man who threw a mini fit over fudging his turn in pool, now telling a story about a woman he called the “smartest woman [he’s] ever met” and also simultaneously a “tiny little thing”

why do men get so absurdly upset at minor losses in games? bro it is pool at the bar, not a war. you’re fine, go do some box breathing and have another sip of your liquid bread.

also it’s just so nice that nobody makes a big deal about my rook being nb bc i have to explain myself so much irl and in game just having it be a “they’re fools if they can’t see you and accept you” is so fucking healing