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joewengert.bsky.social
How are you? I’m Joe
77 posts 3,552 followers 367 following
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Posts 41 Comments 9

sometimes when I am feeling down I like to think about the time my beloved Philadelphia Eagles sacked Patrick Mahomes on first and second down and then rookie defensive back Cooper DeJean intercepted the third down pass and returned it for a touchdown to give the team a 17-0 lead in the Super Bowl

submitted 93 days ago • 47 comments

I was on the Do You Need A Ride? podcast with two of my favorite LA-based comedians and it was both FUN and PRODUCTIVE. Listen here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/d...

submitted 100 days ago • 1 comment

every night the last thing I think before I fall asleep is FEELING DROWSY? EXIT AND REST

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

I’m having an emotional affair with the sign-spinning mannequin in front of the smoke shop

submitted 101 days ago • 1 comment

dogman is copaganda

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

the will smith slap was seventeen years ago

submitted 108 days ago • 3 comments

grapes might be berries but I don’t trust any search engine any more so I guess I’ve got to find a goddamn berry scientist IRL

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

here I go again on my scone

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

"Let's shag ass."

submitted 110 days ago • 17 comments

printing out copies of one of my unproduced pilots for every little library in los angeles

submitted 111 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

maybe the pope comes back with a chin implant

submitted 112 days ago • 1 comment

I demand an email from every American dog outlining five times that they were a good baby this week

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

advancements are being made in bounce house technology with no regard for parent sanity

submitted 115 days ago • 2 comments

I’ve seen bigger birds

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

the pope was like “fuck it man. it’s saturday night. break out the good wine and LET THE CONCLAVE BEGIN”

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

my data sucks shit. go nuts man good luck with it

submitted 122 days ago • 5 comments

if you lease your car, the car knows and it is sad about it

submitted 124 days ago • 1 comment

the person who hit Howie with a beer can should have to spend the entirety of next season in a cowboys jersey

submitted 124 days ago • 2 comments

best age to tell kids about shrimp tails in cinnamon toast crunch guy

submitted 125 days ago • 2 comments

Trump take egg

submitted 126 days ago • 62 comments

trump has signed an executive order to make himself a playable character in super smash bros

submitted 126 days ago • 1 comment

Car: A Cars Story

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments

I just feel like we still can’t rule out some last minute magic from Mahomes

submitted 128 days ago • 3 comments

but the sixers lost again so

submitted 129 days ago • 1 comment

no matter what happens, Confetti Man gets paid tonight

submitted 129 days ago • 1 comment

cigarette flavored potato chips

submitted 135 days ago • 6 comments

Hey UCB folks! Jimmy Jatho just got out of the hospital after heart surgery. Please help him out if you can! gofund.me/01aed96b

submitted 136 days ago • 2 comments

don’t talk to me until I’ve had my skittle juice

submitted 136 days ago • 2 comments

I honestly believe our most powerful position in a toxic time that feeds on cynicism, apathy,& despair is to genuinely care and act for a better world. Cynicism is our enemy. We should check it, incl. on the left. It’s not intellectually superior. It’s the virus they’re trying to infect us with. NO

submitted 138 days ago • 4315 comments

it is time to buy ourselves seven years and make elon musk an SNL cast member

submitted 137 days ago • 1 comment

friday the 31st is spooky if you’re dyslexic

submitted 138 days ago • 2 comments

starry is sprite that they found on the moon

submitted 139 days ago • 0 comments

I am hearing that the twain actually shall meet (if they haven’t met already)

submitted 140 days ago • 1 comment

remember in the substance when she gets that big witch finger? I heard that was your mom’s finger

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

kate bush? what’s next, jake tree?

submitted 148 days ago • 8 comments

Every time an NFL QB looks down at their wrist to read something it’s Red Hot Chilli Peppers lyrics

submitted 150 days ago • 72 comments

somehow, palpatine kept on chooglin’

submitted 151 days ago • 13 comments

You can report price gouging landlords from anywhere!

submitted 156 days ago • 49 comments

No need to apologize, Ralph. I am riveted by what you and your boys are getting up to here

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments

If there’s one thing sportscasters love, it’s to actually have spoken with this player yesterday

submitted 168 days ago • 13 comments