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kdanger.bsky.social
Don't worry, these are all posts you can read with your child - they're just funny jokes about birds 🐦
870 posts 4,500 followers 640 following
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Posts 43 Comments 7

There are NO Republican birds 🫡🦅

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Somebody left a poop covered in sequins on my desk again

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Found a clam in my bed last night the merman transformation has begun

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Cornered by a boy in a rat costume on the subway, he forced me to shake his sticky hand

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Slipped in the bathroom straight into the urinal almost touched the cake

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Oh this bag? It's full of... BIRDS ::birds fly out of bag into your face and hair::

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Starting off a business meeting with a soaking wet handshake

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

The sky will no longer be blue it will be blacked out by my army of birds

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

There are so many birds

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

Had a dream I was a bird then woke up covered in seeds

submitted 98 days ago • 1 comment

There's a fate worse than death it's me unleashing a billion birds in your house

submitted 99 days ago • 1 comment

You're trapped in a bathroom filled with 100 angry chickadees what do you do

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

If I were a bird I'd actually be 1000 birds and I'd swoop down at you filled with fury

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

There are more birds than there are yous, watch what you say about me

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

Free all birds

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments

It's a shame you can't shake hands with a bird 🦜🫱

submitted 148 days ago • 0 comments

Practicing handshakes that are just a little too hard

submitted 149 days ago • 1 comment

I've been doing calculations in my spare time and turns out one bird can take down a full grown boy

submitted 149 days ago • 1 comment

Got my face shoved into the dirt by a guy named skeeter

submitted 152 days ago • 1 comment

FOLLOW ME MY BIRDS INTO THE DARKNESS 🐦

submitted 154 days ago • 0 comments

Birds don't go to the dermatologist

submitted 156 days ago • 1 comment

Burping billy caught me in the alley yesterday and burped all over me

submitted 156 days ago • 0 comments

Threw a party and a single bird came

submitted 157 days ago • 2 comments

Yes officer the man's hand is locked in mother's wardrobe

submitted 157 days ago • 0 comments

Check out my holiday guide for men: 🐦🐓

submitted 157 days ago • 0 comments

Everyone who is following me like this post if you're not following me also like this post

submitted 158 days ago • 0 comments

There are twelve soaking wet men outside my bedroom door and they're trying to get in

submitted 158 days ago • 0 comments

Moth flew in my ear and met an untimely death

submitted 160 days ago • 0 comments

Accidentally dropped a second and third tray of lasagna on mother

submitted 161 days ago • 1 comment

Dropped an entire tray of lasagna on mother

submitted 161 days ago • 0 comments

Yes mr zucerburg no one has ever heard this song before (song sounds like dog shit)

submitted 161 days ago • 0 comments

A cumsock rode on my back during a day of errands and appointments

submitted 162 days ago • 0 comments

Do NOT ask me why I spent the entire weekend attached to the radiator (again)

submitted 162 days ago • 1 comment

My hand is stuck in the toaster

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

Guys used to be able to pull up in rides like this and steal your girl

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

:wiping blood from lip: I've fought diarrhea men stronger than you

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

Fool me once you can't be fooled again :trips and falls off the ledge into a dumpster filled with piss:

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

You can't go around smelling everyone's ass cracks is what mother said

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

Mother seeing my bird fortress (apartment) for first time

submitted 164 days ago • 0 comments

It is very possible to be pro-bird and anti-government

submitted 164 days ago • 1 comment

Someone threw a poop covered in sequins at me and it BARELY missed

submitted 164 days ago • 0 comments

I'M THROUGH with mainstream media it's time for BIRD RADIO just a bird loudly tweeting into a microphone 24/7 it's what the people NEED

submitted 164 days ago • 1 comment

Now he's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh Is it that sweet? I guess so Say you can't sleep, baby, I know That's that me cappuccino

submitted 164 days ago • 1 comment