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kellalena.bsky.social
Make me laugh and I’ll love you forever https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaafyok6b2wuy
2,078 posts 9,864 followers 594 following
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Posts 46 Comments 3

Don’t listen to the naysayers, keep making the taco jokes, they are very effective… at letting me know who the dolts are.

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

I dunno but I just thought that making english muffin pizzas at eleven o'clock at night might fix a few things maybe

submitted 2 hours ago • 12 comments

Cats and dogs are very much the same in that they both want to follow me into the bathroom

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

I said “no diggity,” but that look in my eye said yes diggity.

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

The masculine urge to gather twigs and leaves in order to build a nest that a potential mate will find satisfying

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

you know what they say- what a difference a xanax makes

submitted 6 hours ago • 2 comments

Snap crackle skeet.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I want to knock over a liquor store, but Steve's using the getaway car to take his grandma to the podiatrist.

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

Currently pouting about dinner being a thing I have to do every day. Nice break from the existential horrors , I guess. Flex my emotional range or whathaveyou

submitted 3 hours ago • 11 comments

scrolled IG for 20 mins and didn't buy anything, please clap

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

Them: you should let your hair grow out Me: you should mind your own damn business

submitted 5 hours ago • 3 comments

Your Jesus must be so proud of yall.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

FEMA Agent: *looking at destruction as far as the eye can see* W-what happened? FEMA Director: I've seen this before. It was the Stray Cats. They rocked this town inside out.

submitted 5 hours ago • 1 comment

What’s the matter Babe, you’ve barely touched my diva cup?

submitted 3 hours ago • 2 comments

Vanilla ice implies the existence of bdsm ice

submitted 3 hours ago • 3 comments

It's all crapolay, as far as the eye can see

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

More flawed argument than person

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

I’m such a private person that it’s none of my business what I’m up to.

submitted 3 hours ago • 5 comments

She gave you life And raised you right Read to you Most every night Your mother lives With poise and grace And really likes To ride my face

submitted 9 hours ago • 13 comments

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is fix myself a hot cup of sausage gravy.

submitted 10 hours ago • 8 comments

Fool Michael Jackson once Shamone you

submitted 10 hours ago • 5 comments

Wow. I just apologized to a chair for bumping into it. Does this mean I'm Canadian now?

submitted 8 hours ago • 9 comments

It’s ok to not know everything. Settle down for a bit. Sit on a stump. Watch a show about ducks eating freshwater mussels. Kick a can. Rub one out to that Farrah Fawcett poster. Whatever it takes

submitted 5 hours ago • 7 comments

Good lemonade should be more bitter than sweet, not sugar water with a lemon taste

submitted 8 hours ago • 4 comments

I could probably be likeable if I wanted to.

submitted 8 hours ago • 7 comments

When you notice an app changed its font very slightly and you ask god how much more you can take

submitted 7 hours ago • 9 comments

I’m old Of course my super power is invisibility

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Yells “parkour” as I fall off my chair, again

submitted 4 days ago • 6 comments

The cup sized bruise on my leg and other unsolved mysteries

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

It’s always a shame when people see you for what you really are, which in my case is horribly boring

submitted 10 hours ago • 1 comment

Three more pension cheques and I'll have my student loan paid off.

submitted 16 hours ago • 3 comments

Whenever I start losing an argument, I drop down into the splits and punch them under the loincloth.

submitted 16 hours ago • 15 comments

I hate it when I feel dumb because I did something dumb.

submitted 5 hours ago • 3 comments

Often no answer is an answer

submitted 5 hours ago • 7 comments

I've heard a lot of 20 somethings using the expression I will die on this hill while in general conversation and it's so frustrating not being able to help in some way.

submitted 7 hours ago • 3 comments

Queen, Kid Rock and the Beastie Boys came on the radio one after the other and all of a sudden I was dancing shirtless with a mullet, drinking brass monkey.

submitted 7 hours ago • 10 comments

Said the word "ghastly" today and was instantly an elderly British therapist who knits tea cosies for all her favourite clients.

submitted 7 hours ago • 3 comments

My antidepressant needs an antidepressant after seeing how much work it has to do.

submitted 4 hours ago • 2 comments

Walking in the woods is a natural antidepressant.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

to say it was an accident would be a lie because i always check twice when it comes to you

submitted 15 hours ago • 1 comment

Being an adult is about finding these 3 things: 1. Purpose 2. Meaning 3. Pain medicine

submitted 15 hours ago • 6 comments

Get in losers, we are going back to bed

submitted 16 hours ago • 4 comments

So far, so catastrophic.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

If I say, "Wow! Sounds great, pencil me in," you'd better have an eraser.

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

HR: May we ask why you are resigning? Me: Because no one else in this damn office knows who Bananarama is.

submitted 15 hours ago • 13 comments

The final scene from Thelma & Louise, but there’s no cops chasing us and we’ve got our hands in the air like on a roller coaster 🙌

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment