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kylelsmith.bsky.social
The silliest goose. 🪿 Links to my humor at kylelsmith.com.
493 posts 86 followers 266 following
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I am one chapter away from finishing the rough draft of my first novel and crushing 20 years of writer's block! #writer

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

I've decided not to get the Neuralink brain implant. I already have self-driving thoughts that crash, dreams that explode on the launchpad, and a personality that makes for boring company.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Since Sting was the head of The Police, can we call him Commissioner Gordon?

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Are you hideously codependent or Hideo Kojima dependant?

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

No matter what they tell you, my hips definitely lie.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Gaslighting is revisionist historical fiction.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Ice cream sandwiches are neither ice cream nor a sandwich. Discuss.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

My worst day working remote is better than my best day working in person.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

I miss post-credit blooper reels.

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

My pee is so clear they call me Crystal. My skin is so dewey they call me Mountain. I'm so hydrated that Nestle claimed the water rights on my body.

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

*Car pulls into the left lane of the highway* Tractor Trailer Driver:

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

I wrote so much over the past two weeks that my wrists hurt. That's a first from me, Captain Writer's Block. I wrote 1 speculative fiction short story, 1 prose humor piece, and 7 chapters of my first novel. Only 14 chapters to go and that sucker will be ready for revisions! 🥳 #indieauthors

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

I am so ready for Tron: Ares.

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

I want to live in a town that's so chill a dog is the mayor.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Happy 50th birthday to Microsoft! I was going to show you all a retrospective on this HD DVD, but my XBOX 360 just got the red ring of death. Sent from my Windows Phone.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Just finished tip to tip with Ludwig and Michael Reeves. It may be the best travel vlog of all time. youtu.be/SHIkv0XH20A?...

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

LucasArts was a force to be reckoned with in the DOS game era.

submitted 64 days ago • 1 comment

The worst part about Pokemon is fear of the unown.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Mordor Corp., Where there’s a whip there’s a way! Due to an unforeseen and sudden staffing shortage, we are urgently hiring for Nazgul Team Lead. Must be able to keep their heads while working with members of the opposite sex. muddyum.net/job-posting-... #lordoftherings

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

gonna be sporting and give tim a five minute head start

submitted 65 days ago • 196 comments