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lilylute.bsky.social
Bpd ranting account
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Lavos, the alien monster intent on destroying all life, has emerged from beneath the planet's surface to endorse Andrew Cuomo in the New York City mayoral race. "Cuomo has the experience and character necessary to lead," said Lavos, while fire rained from the sky

I feel like I'm just a top now.

I've never had a piece of information make me both feel worse AND way better at the same time. I guess knowing is half the battle

My imagination was worse but still gonna take some pretty bad psychic damage from this one. Oof.

At my ex's parents place helping them cook dinner for midsommarafton. Kinda weird but they nice.

Them sending a heart had way to powerful of a physical effect on me. I just almost cried when she messaged me she misses me. I'm cooked.

Fucking ow why does it always have to hurt

Some morning crying and self hatred, as a treat.

Yooo too exhausted to feel the suffering.

I'm gonna die she's so fucking beautiful i wanna die

How did I not remember my favorite FP breakup song, first love/ late spring by mitski.

I know it's cope but it's making me feel better enough to not making my soul scream in pain 24/7 until my flight. After the flight I can deal with the reality that I'll probably end up in pain again but at least I'll be able to work through my pain instead of rotting in it.

Finally made a decent lunch again

That's it. I'm picking up smoking as a coping mechanism. I'm tired of weed and alcohol.

It's so much hurt and it's ALL the time =/ searing pain in my heart.

"idk I thought Cleveland was in Maine or something" my former paramour who has lived in the US their entire lives

I'm going next week. I don't care if I have to busk to make ends meet, go to food banks, and fuck strangers under the guise of cooking them food so i can eat. I can't live with this searing pain in my chest anymore.

Every time I wake up at all I feel a shot of adrenaline from thr pain in my heart and it prevents me from falling asleep =/

My heart is on fire.

Terrifying realization that your fp neither wants or needs you anymore. Happened awhile ago but still fuckin hurting. I feel pathetic.

Welp ended things w partner. Time to enter my hoe arc to somehow extricate my sexuality away from my fp.

Therepeutic crying instead of just pure sorrow is good

Make this person lead UN negotiator stat!

I have discussed potential breakup with partner, they are supportive and I think it will be the right choice.

I feel a lot lot better after the convo. I am satisfied, I just hope they don't double back and say some stuff that will hurt. I am happy for things to rest where they're at. I actually feel pretty okaym

I very transparently care so much all the time.

It baffles me that my dr thinks I'm cis but alright. Sweet Romanian woman.

Inspired by standup, I WILL be proposing via glory hole.

Now we'll see how the heterosexuell Danish standup compares to the homosexual Swedish standup.