m100msm.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Morning Skyhooks “I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P-something T-something R…” #Vineisms

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.'” #Vineisms

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “Exit signs? They’re on the way out!” #Vineisms

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said ‘You are.'” #Vineisms

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I was reading a book – ‘The History of Glue’ – I couldn’t put it down.” #Vineisms

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “Do you ever get that when you’re half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, ‘I’m not as hungry as I thought I was?'” #Vineisms

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.” #Vineisms

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” #Vineisms

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “I saw this advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.' #Vineisms

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.” #Vineisms

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I’m so lazy I’ve got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.” #Vineisms

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.” #Vineisms

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.” #Vineisms

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.” #Vineisms

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I went down the local supermarket. I said: ‘I want to make a complaint – this vinegar’s got lumps in it.’ He said: ‘Those are pickled onions.'” #Vineisms

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks ‘’I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.'” #Vineisms

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

My take on gambas ajillo con hinojo marino. 👨‍🍳💋👌🏼

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.” #Vineisms

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I said to the gym instructor: ‘Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: ‘How flexible are you?’ I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays.'” #Vineisms

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said: ‘It depends where you’re calling from.'” #Vineisms

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “The advantages of easy origami are two-fold.” #Vineisms

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.” #Vineisms

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I did a gig in a fertility clinic. I got a standing ovulation.” #Vineisms

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.” #Vineisms

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “My star sign is Pyrex. I was a test-tube baby.” #BigYinisms

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.” #BigYinisms

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright nooooooooow.” #BigYinisms

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly” #BigYinisms

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

I'm surprised this guy can still pull a crowd in the first place because he's about as funny as a hernia. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

submitted 28 days ago • 70 comments

Thoughts with everyone affected by the Water Street incident. Hoping there are no serious injuries. Footage is horrendous. YNWA

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

#LFC #Anfield #CHAMPIONS 🏆 #PARADE

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning… that can keep me awake for days.” #BigYinisms

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Gone mate 🥲

submitted 30 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Mo 💥

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

NEW: Virgil van Dijk’s message to Liverpool supporters before “special” trophy lift #lfc

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 31 days ago • 1 comment

Morning Skyhooks “I get claustrophobic easily and I don’t get why aeroplane toilets don’t have windows. I mean it’s not as if anyone can fucking see in. Unless of course you are the most determined pervert in the world.” #BigYinisms

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “When people say ‘it’s always the last place you look’. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?” #BigYinisms

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Morning Skyhooks “People who ask, ‘can I ask you a question?’ Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?” #BigYinisms

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

The cost of winter fuel payments is £3bn a year. The profits of the big four gas supply giants in 2023 were £65bn. Gosh, what a difficult circle to square.

submitted 35 days ago • 8 comments