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Most minor? Letting Les Dennis and his son out of a shop I worked in. We used to manage the doors ten minutes from closing – only unlocking to let shoppers out. I think he was in panto in the town that year. Most major? Directing Sir Patrick Stewart – a little bit – in a TV ad (which I also wrote).

The Gallagher brothers? I thought this was a weird portrait of Jedward when I first glanced at it. bit.ly/44ev3PS

Going to see Woody for the first time today. Who he? Oh, only our ninth cat. He joins our crew sometime next week. Lady we're getting him from supplied three other of ours – so we know he'll be socialised. And because she knows we make a real effort with our cats, she's let us have him for just Β£20.

Of all the participants in our local dawn chorus, this wee chap is by far the most outspoken. Don't know if he and his partner are the same pair who roost annually in our roof, but usually, whoever's resident is generally this noisy.

Just got ChatGPT to unpick the UK's 5G roll out debacle, as I was struggling to understand why this is taking so long. Turns out there are multiple reasons – everything from landowners resisting masts to the need to replace Huawei infrastructure to the general dog's dinner we've made of everything.

Messed with one of my meds today. Thought I was being clever, taking it in the early hours then nodding off (having been awake half the night). But no: the advised gap between pill and first meal of the day is 30 minutes – not three hours, which is how long I left it. Wound up puking in my garden. 🫀

Mark Zuckerberg's famous mantra of 'move fast and break things' says more about his (undiagnosed – I've no idea) ADHD than it does about this being any kind of sensible way to initiate and sustain progress.

It's 2:42am, and I've been trying (and failing) to fall asleep since before midnight. No idea why I'm so wired tonight – restless arms, legs, you name it. Have to be up again at 6am. 😟

Cue Britney ... and meet Woody. Because oops, I did it* again. He arrives in two weeks' time – and takes our kitty crew's number to nine. (*Bought my partner another kitten as a birthday present.)

When you love @dbrand.bsky.social's products (hell, its whole ethos, marketing – you name it), but wish they could compete with Benks' ArmorPro 600D Kevlar-infused cases. Not just for the robustness, the physical protection, but also for the snugness and slimness. And for the hidden mag charge ring.