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maxleibman.bsky.social
Solutions architect. Recovering project manager. Maker of dad jokes. Actual dad.
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I'm sure that AT&T locking my account, and requiring me to either call them or reset my password—something they have never done in the 16 years I've been a customer—is due to a legitimate security threat and has nothing to do with me canceling two of their services less than 24 hours earlier.

Stepping on a crack is the mother of invention. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Microsoft: We insist that you sign onto your personal Windows PC with an online Microsoft account. Also Microsoft: Windows App Mobile has replaced Remote Desktop Mobile, and no longer supports signing onto your personal Windows PC with an online Microsoft account. #Microsoft #RemoteDesktop #RDP

A weary nation can have A Little Hope as a nice treat

Oh, thank god. I was afraid this was going to be a sensationalist take on the new iPad updates.

Conservatives are 100% correct that the gender binary is a real, scientific fact. But what they don't want you to know is that gender is 16-bit, so there are actually 65,536 possible genders.

Dox a cop today.

Shakira's hips don't lie. Her identical twin sister's hips don't tell the truth. You may ask one question.

Point: Go woke, go broke! Counterpoint: [me, making ten times as much as I did the last time I voted for a Republican]

Your mom thought this was an inappropriate time to be making jokes.

Friday the 31st is bad luck for people who make a lot of typos.

Enterprise security software: Are these CPU cycles for anyone?

Taylorism, also known as scientific management, is a management theory focused on analyzing workflows to improve efficiency and labor productivity, and is named for its inventor, Taylor Swift.

I know it’s totally irrational, but I have this crazy superstition that Friday the 13th is a normal day and bad things are no more or less likely to happen than on any other day. Weird, I know.

To everyone who was in my mentions on Mastodon last year, telling me that Harris's stance on Israel was disqualifying: Your order has arrived. I hope you fucking enjoy your meal.

Respect is a four-way stop. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

It falls to us to reprecedent the times.

Reese's Précis.

Lead, follow, or get out of the kitchen. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Little Sam: Mom, can I get a fascism? Mom: No, we have fascism at home.

Rest is resistance.

Caught with your pants in the cookie jar. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

I had a chance to see Apple's new "Sky Blue" MacBook Air in person today. In other words, I've still never seen a blue MacBook.

Are you telling me that a mouth wrote this check?

If you're posting a recipe for disaster, then I definitely DO want the backstory first.

Making a pilgrimage to the temple of Aspartame, the Greek goddess of artificial sweeteners.

me, a dog trainer: Be a dog dog: Woof me: The student has become the master

If I'm making a pan of brownies, how much dog shit in batter is too much? That's what people taking about "reaching across the aisle" are asking. The compromise position with fascism is still fascism.

A snowball's chance in a handbasket. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

"I don't know what it is, she just rubs me the wrong way." –Me, when asked why I haven't booked another appointment with Evangeline, my former masseuse #IHaveAWayWithWords

When you say "disturbing," do you mean disturbing like 'Silence of the Lambs,' or like, REALLY disturbing? Like grownups with strong feelings about recasting the voice actors in 'Paw Patrol' disturbing?

Alan Dye one-ups Jony Ive's pretentious $200 'Designed by Apple in California' book with a pretentious $2,000 'Designed by Apple in California' book printed on glass. #Apple #LiquidGlass

Good morning!

I wear my heart on my sleeve one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

I don't love the name "Liquid Glass," and the lock screen time looks silly when stretched. Other than that, though, I really like what we see of the new design language so far. #WWDC #Apple

This isn't a prediction so much as an observation: Apple could totally talk about either a future rev of the Mac Pro or future VisionOS hardware without fear of the Osborne Effect, because you can't cannibalize sales of products no one buys. #WWDC #Apple

"'Cause if you liked it, then you should have encryption on it." –Beyoncé, ''Signal Ladies'

His bark is worse than the wrong tree. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

One of the few things in modern commerce that makes me crankier than people trying to cut in line is people who can't be bothered to be in the line in the first place. Form a line. Don't just hover nearby. Don't wander. If you aren't stationary, waiting to check out, you can't be cut in front of.

Pharmaceutical companies: Our prices are completely rational and based on the cost of developing and producing medications. Also pharmaceutical companies: The marginal cost to produce ninety tablets of Cetirizine is negative one dollar.