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maxleibman.bsky.social
Solutions architect. Recovering project manager. Maker of dad jokes. Actual dad.
1,879 posts 481 followers 209 following
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Are you telling me that a mouth wrote this check?

If you're posting a recipe for disaster, then I definitely DO want the backstory first.

Making a pilgrimage to the temple of Aspartame, the Greek goddess of artificial sweeteners.

me, a dog trainer: Be a dog dog: Woof me: The student has become the master

If I'm making a pan of brownies, how much dog shit in batter is too much? That's what people taking about "reaching across the aisle" are asking. The compromise position with fascism is still fascism.

A snowball's chance in a handbasket. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

"I don't know what it is, she just rubs me the wrong way." –Me, when asked why I haven't booked another appointment with Evangeline, my former masseuse #IHaveAWayWithWords

When you say "disturbing," do you mean disturbing like 'Silence of the Lambs,' or like, REALLY disturbing? Like grownups with strong feelings about recasting the voice actors in 'Paw Patrol' disturbing?

Alan Dye one-ups Jony Ive's pretentious $200 'Designed by Apple in California' book with a pretentious $2,000 'Designed by Apple in California' book printed on glass. #Apple #LiquidGlass

Good morning!

I wear my heart on my sleeve one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

I don't love the name "Liquid Glass," and the lock screen time looks silly when stretched. Other than that, though, I really like what we see of the new design language so far. #WWDC #Apple

This isn't a prediction so much as an observation: Apple could totally talk about either a future rev of the Mac Pro or future VisionOS hardware without fear of the Osborne Effect, because you can't cannibalize sales of products no one buys. #WWDC #Apple

"'Cause if you liked it, then you should have encryption on it." –Beyoncé, ''Signal Ladies'

His bark is worse than the wrong tree. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

One of the few things in modern commerce that makes me crankier than people trying to cut in line is people who can't be bothered to be in the line in the first place. Form a line. Don't just hover nearby. Don't wander. If you aren't stationary, waiting to check out, you can't be cut in front of.

Pharmaceutical companies: Our prices are completely rational and based on the cost of developing and producing medications. Also pharmaceutical companies: The marginal cost to produce ninety tablets of Cetirizine is negative one dollar.

Two years ago, I live-posted the WWDC keynote on Mastodon. I was excited to see what the Vision Pro would be. Last year I sat it out. I had a scheduling conflict and the focus was going to be on AI, about which I couldn't imagine anything that exciting being shown. This year? 🤷‍♂️ #WWDC #Apple

"My dog's learning to speak a foreign language." "Español?" "No, he's a labrador."

No artificial intelligence. Only locally grown free range organic intelligence.

Peeling back the layers of the iceberg. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

What I like about baseball is it's played in the past.

Two left feet don't make a right. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Ask your LLM if Ozempic is right for you.

Save the ENVIRONMENT? The thing that's full of POLLEN?! 🤧

If you are reading this in 2025 and you live long enough to be offered the opportunity to "upload" you consciousness to a computer, understand that the actual offer is that they will kill you and create a very rough, and undoubtedly not conscious, simulation of an approximate idea of what you were.

When MAGA leaders behave in a destructive or erratic way, resist the temptation to apply mental health–related labels to them. It is unethical to attempt to diagnose them from afar. In fact, it's unethical to attempt to diagnose them up close, because their problem is fascism, not mental health.

Me: I want to speak to an attorney. Them: You aren't under arrest. Me: I know. I'm just lonely.

In France they're called cargot shorts.

But I *did* think the leopards would eat each other's faces.

Microsoft Powder Point.

A pessimist sees the glass half empty. An optimist sees the glass half full. ChatGPT sees the glass four-fifths full, because 1 - 0.5 = 0.80.

It's unsporting not to kick a fascist when they are down.

"Omit needless words." –William Strunk, Jr., and E.B. White "Emit needless words." –Me

There's no shame in admitting that you once believed in Elon Musk's character and competence. It's just like having once believed in Santa Claus—only embarrassing if you were an adult before you stopped.

The enemy of my enemy is still a giant shitbird, and a danger to humanity. #Elon

It went over like a lead foot. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

This is ridiculous. Read up on what the Liberty Phone is, what you actually get for TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS, and consider how many orders of magnitude more iPhones are made each year just for the U.S. market. This article, despite Kopytoff's framing, is about why iPhones CAN'T be made here.

"This isn't my first rodeo." –Me, referring to a dangerous and challenging thing I am attempting for the first time, but which does not happen to be rodeo #IHaveAWayWithWords

Sir, I think you mean "Ounces." This is America.

Just because I don't "have a master's degree in computer science" and haven't "worked in the field for ten years" or "learned anything about software" or "tried" or "cared" doesn't mean I shouldn't get to be a Senior Software Engineer! #VibeCoding #AI

Like many popular apps and websites these days, my rage is powered by AI.

Microsoft Edge is the most popular app on Windows for installing Google Chrome.

The researcher's plus-one was her statistically significant other.