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mayoroffunkytown.bsky.social

Humor & truth. Cancer survivor. USAF vet. Music & sports. Cat dad. Bosox & NY Giants 🌈 Ally 🚫 M🅰️G🅰️ts 🚫 Crypt🅾️crap https://funkytowndispatch.substack.com/ https://www.substack.com/@lotuspurrspective https://substack.com/@beastmodefantasysports

5,928 posts 27,757 followers 39,195 following

Posts 27 Comments 23

Polygraphs and Punchlines: The FBI’s Leaky Lie Detector Circus By: The Mayor of Funkytown — Patron Saint of Raised Fists, Velvet Ropes, and Calling Bullshit When Bullshit Shows Up Wearing a Diaper open.substack.com/pub/funkytow...

submitted 15 minutes ago • 0 comments

Plot Twist: The Rest Of The World Doesn’t Need Us By: Lotus, the World’s Wisest (and Most Judgmental) Feline open.substack.com/pub/lotuspur...

submitted 19 minutes ago • 0 comments

Happy Wednesday! It's the middle of the week and we could all use an energy infusion, so let's get up and moving to one of the biggest party anthems of the 2000s... I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas youtu.be/uSD4vsh1zDA?...

submitted 27 minutes ago • 0 comments

Is it just me, or does anyone else think Kash Patel always look like someone who is using a bidet for the first time?

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

Never leave home without a kiss, a hug, and an, "I love you." Then, remove the pet hair from your mouth as you walk to the car.

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

I don't have Alzheimer's. I have Some-timers. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

In honor of Pride Month, I'm using napkins from Chick-fil-A to clog the toilets at Hobby Lobby.

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

Just before sweet potatoes are mashed they become very quiet. This is known as "The Silence Of The Yams."

submitted 9 hours ago • 3 comments

Once upon a time... Her: Damn it! You only lasted three minutes this time. Me: It was doggy style, so that's really 21 minutes.

submitted 12 hours ago • 2 comments

Did you know that narcissist spelled backwards is asshole? Hey, if Trump can make shit up, so can I.

submitted 21 hours ago • 1 comment

Looks like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert aren't going to be shopping at Harvard anymore.

submitted 23 hours ago • 1 comment

Apex Predators in Suits: Why Republicans Rule the Food Chain (and Not in a Good Way) By: Lotus, the World's Wisest (and Most Judgmental) Feline open.substack.com/pub/lotuspur...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

🚨Trump's War on Emergency Rooms: The GOP Wants to Make You Bleed Out in Peace🚨 open.substack.com/pub/funkytow...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Happy Tuesday! There are a million theories of what this song is about, but the guy who wrote it says it's about dancing (he wrote it after being kicked out of a club because the owner didn't like the way he danced), so let's dance... The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats youtu.be/_Mm7c7vGCGU?...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Rumor has it that people working in the White House say Trump is "apocalyptically mad" about the nickname "TACO." His doctors are concerned that this anger could lead to a heart attack. TACOcardia

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

If police are required to wear body cameras, why the hell isn’t ICE? These agents are separating families, raiding homes, and violating rights behind closed doors. It’s time for transparency. No more shadows.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Do it now...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

ATTENTION MAGAts: Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but healthy, functioning societies actually REQUIRE you to care about other people.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

How thick do flat earthers say the Earth is?

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

BREAKING: Trump Claims Biden Is a Dead Robot, Reminds America Why the 25th Amendment Exists open.substack.com/pub/funkytow...

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Sanctuary Shaming Backfires: DHS Gets Declawed by Its Own Dirty List ✍️ By: Lotus, the World's Wisest (and Most Judgemental) Feline open.substack.com/pub/lotuspur...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Happy Monday! Not exactly everyone's favorite day, so let's get those feet moving to a song that was a lot of people's favorite at the club... Take Me In Your Arms - Lil Suzy youtu.be/R65Qu5X6iXg?...

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

This whole TACO thing really did psychological damage to him. That punch landed... HARD.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Polygraphs and Punchlines: The FBI’s Leaky Lie Detector Circus By: The Mayor of Funkytown — Patron Saint of Raised Fists, Velvet Ropes, and Calling Bullshit When Bullshit Shows Up Wearing a Diaper open.substack.com/pub/funkytow...

Plot Twist: The Rest Of The World Doesn’t Need Us By: Lotus, the World’s Wisest (and Most Judgmental) Feline open.substack.com/pub/lotuspur...

Happy Wednesday! It's the middle of the week and we could all use an energy infusion, so let's get up and moving to one of the biggest party anthems of the 2000s... I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas youtu.be/uSD4vsh1zDA?...

Is it just me, or does anyone else think Kash Patel always look like someone who is using a bidet for the first time?

Never leave home without a kiss, a hug, and an, "I love you." Then, remove the pet hair from your mouth as you walk to the car.

I don't have Alzheimer's. I have Some-timers. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't.

In honor of Pride Month, I'm using napkins from Chick-fil-A to clog the toilets at Hobby Lobby.

Just before sweet potatoes are mashed they become very quiet. This is known as "The Silence Of The Yams."

Once upon a time... Her: Damn it! You only lasted three minutes this time. Me: It was doggy style, so that's really 21 minutes.

Did you know that narcissist spelled backwards is asshole? Hey, if Trump can make shit up, so can I.

Looks like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert aren't going to be shopping at Harvard anymore.

Apex Predators in Suits: Why Republicans Rule the Food Chain (and Not in a Good Way) By: Lotus, the World's Wisest (and Most Judgmental) Feline open.substack.com/pub/lotuspur...

🚨Trump's War on Emergency Rooms: The GOP Wants to Make You Bleed Out in Peace🚨 open.substack.com/pub/funkytow...

Happy Tuesday! There are a million theories of what this song is about, but the guy who wrote it says it's about dancing (he wrote it after being kicked out of a club because the owner didn't like the way he danced), so let's dance... The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats youtu.be/_Mm7c7vGCGU?...

Rumor has it that people working in the White House say Trump is "apocalyptically mad" about the nickname "TACO." His doctors are concerned that this anger could lead to a heart attack. TACOcardia

If police are required to wear body cameras, why the hell isn’t ICE? These agents are separating families, raiding homes, and violating rights behind closed doors. It’s time for transparency. No more shadows.

Do it now...

ATTENTION MAGAts: Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but healthy, functioning societies actually REQUIRE you to care about other people.

How thick do flat earthers say the Earth is?

BREAKING: Trump Claims Biden Is a Dead Robot, Reminds America Why the 25th Amendment Exists open.substack.com/pub/funkytow...

Sanctuary Shaming Backfires: DHS Gets Declawed by Its Own Dirty List ✍️ By: Lotus, the World's Wisest (and Most Judgemental) Feline open.substack.com/pub/lotuspur...

Happy Monday! Not exactly everyone's favorite day, so let's get those feet moving to a song that was a lot of people's favorite at the club... Take Me In Your Arms - Lil Suzy youtu.be/R65Qu5X6iXg?...

This whole TACO thing really did psychological damage to him. That punch landed... HARD.

Anybody else notice how Zelensky conducted his strike in Russia WITHOUT using Signal chat?

It's No Bra Sunday, AKA "The Saggeth", a day of rest for your breasts.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

We are here... and it's disgusting...