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mistermichael.bsky.social
Highly accomplished ne'er-do-well. Flailing dad. Think about what you want for dinner tonight.
147 posts 34 followers 85 following
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Posts 28 Comments 21

You know that if the New York Times is reporting this, then the situation is extremely dire. Palestinians have been saying for months that famine is happening due to Israel’s siege. That is a war crime, Israel is the agent, the US is the sponsor, and American taxpayers are rendered complicit.

submitted 8 days ago • 12 comments

Did jd Vance murder the pope

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

*squinting* I just want to make sure I'm saying this right. "Ba..ker"? I'm not sure I've heard that convention before. I've heard bakesman, bakerita.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

PICTURE THIS: you're an armless monstrosity shambling around downtown Silent Hill MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS when some well-coiffed maniac comes out of nowhere and starts beating you mercilessly with a 2x4! What would you do?!

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. The nation mourns this senseless act of destruction

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

That's PRESIDENT Frank's Dumpster Rental to you!

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

"If a T. rex can swim then of course horses can swim" - my wife

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

It's only me, Hooper Piccolero

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

as far as i'm concerned the entire purpose of the american experiment is to provide chuck schumer with a job that's not too challenging, yet rewarding and fun. and i hate to put it to you like this, but every criticism you post, and every phone call you make to his office, gets in the way of that

submitted 59 days ago • 101 comments

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken] CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter

submitted 60 days ago • 201 comments

I didn't expect parenthood to involve walking behind my toddler slowly doing laps through a restaurant

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 85 days ago • 3 comments

submitted 84 days ago • 6 comments

Great review photo no notes

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

I hate living in unprecedented times

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Norman is short for Normal Man

submitted 104 days ago • 1 comment

Eating a burger in the dark at 5am in my hotel room while my wife and baby are asleep

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

“Biden’s failures in the Middle East predated and in many ways made possible the October 7 Hamas attacks that set off Israel’s brutal campaign.”

submitted 110 days ago • 18 comments

Those who study physics? Physicians. Those who study phonetics? You guessed it. Phoenicians.

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

But I made my baby a burger patty and an ounce of pasta and she ate every bite

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

Difficult to understate how little I can be bothered to engage with the daily Trump shit when dealing with a toddler. Dude wants to buy Greenland? Alright bet

submitted 118 days ago • 1 comment

missed a spare at bowling and the scoreboard played an animation of me eating a log of shit with a knife and fork

submitted 132 days ago • 95 comments

Important: balsamic glazed bacon wrapped dates stuffed with blue cheese are essentially the perfect bite of food

submitted 134 days ago • 1 comment

🎵 London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, Gerard Butler's on the case🎵

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

COLE: COOP, THEY CAUGHT THE CEO SHOOTER. HIS NAME WAS TONY SPAGHETTI, REAL BOY NEXT DOOR. ABS LIKE ADONIS. POLITICAL IDEAS OF A FUTON. PERHAPS THE IDEAL MAN

submitted 154 days ago • 49 comments

Bird mating culture is fucked up. Female birds basically show up in sweatpants and their hair in a bun and are like "What up? Impress me."

submitted 157 days ago • 0 comments

*Penguin, easily defeating two extremely powerful mob families* *Batlight emerges* Penguin: "oh shit"

submitted 165 days ago • 0 comments

It's very funny to me how they develop all this backstory for the Penguin, showing how he finally makes his way to the top through murder, bribery and deceit, surviving ridiculous odds, and what will be his undoing is a rich guy in a costume beating him senseless with his fists

submitted 165 days ago • 0 comments