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momentarilymatt.bsky.social
Gas station food aficionado, father. Possibly a donkey. Best posts?: https://bsky.app/profile/momentarilymatt.bsky.social/feed/best Matts of Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:k276evh44gwsbdybxgtdothh/lists/3lb3c3birbg2
938 posts 1,388 followers 375 following
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Posts 46 Comments 3

To express my disgust with this terrible service, I will only be tipping 19% and I will avoid all eye contact on my way out of this Denny's.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

To express my disgust with this terrible service, I will only be tipping 19% and I will avoid all eye contact on my way out of this Denny's.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

For a high school English project I recorded a video of a sock puppet reciting "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" but it was called "The Love SOCK of J. Alfred Prufrock" and this is widely regarded as my artistic high point

submitted 12 hours ago • 9 comments

I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life, but at least I’ve never made my family wear matching 4th of July shirts from Old Navy.

submitted 14 hours ago • 22 comments

therapy is ridiculous like hello stranger can you help me be a person

submitted 14 hours ago • 7 comments

if you’re in line waiting for your heart to be broken into a million little pieces, STAY IN LINE

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

when you guys are saying "eat the rich," you *are* including scrooge mcduck, right? right??

submitted 1 day ago • 93 comments

all the red flags really liven up the place

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

Not my curse, not my nightmarish horror that consumes all it sees until the world you knew is no more

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

i wear the pants in this family but i do it begrudgingly

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Apologies if I flipped your entire world on its axis but I did manage to find my vape

submitted 86 days ago • 1 comment

Space X should just change their name to ACME at this point

submitted 11 days ago • 26 comments

if by people skills you mean avoiding them then hell yeah i have people skills

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Andrew Cuomo won’t take a hint that New Yorkers don’t want him. It’s almost like he’s a notorious abuser who won’t take no for an answer.

submitted 3 days ago • 12 comments

Randomly blowing up my account, just to feel something

submitted 33 days ago • 10 comments

Happy birthday @ccruns.bsky.social !

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

A post is a skeet when it has the soul of a fart joke

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

One of these days, I'll skeet a banger the likes of which would make angels weep.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Funeral photo slideshows are post credits scenes

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

first date: so what's something you really like about yourself? me:

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

I’d do anything for love, except communicate properly and work on my issues.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

Global thermonuclear war can take a lot out of you so stay hydrated folks!

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Don't forget to spay or neuter your neighbors

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

Help. I'm alive.

submitted 7 days ago • 8 comments

be the breakfast burrito you wish to see in the world

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

I just feel like with everything going on in the world and the heat wave and war and chaos, we should get paid to stay home from work and eat ice cream in our underwear. Until September.

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

My eggs? Scrambled. My life? Similar.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

One of these days, I'll skeet a banger the likes of which would make angels weep.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

No, comrade. OUR Sherona.

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Not asking for what you need is not the same as not being a burden

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

A Black Mirror episode where people driving home from the grocery store get run off the road by the very carts they were too damn lazy to return.

submitted 30 days ago • 16 comments

I like that one episode of Cheers where they're all like, "Norm!"

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

I like the part in the new Dune movies where the bass goes all WOOOO WEEE WOOO WOOO WOO WEE.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I would like to congratulate all millennials on being too old to be drafted, we did that. 😂🤣😂

submitted 8 days ago • 61 comments

BREAKING: Food was for dinner In other news: The cat still hates me

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

I respect you too much as an artist to sleep with you, Charlie Brown

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

If you're reading this, no you aren't. You never saw me here.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

My 11 discovered he can sneak in phone time while pooping. He’s gonna be a great dad.

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Love bomb yourself

submitted 7 days ago • 8 comments

I want these but for my enemies so they know I’m still holding a grudge.

submitted 7 days ago • 62 comments

I always thought Heat Dome was the sequel to Biodome

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Existential Bread: For when you're terrified but hungry!

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Get the to a nunnery! They're very habit forming.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

To the 8 people who see this & the 4 who like it, BSKY favors the rich & well-connected. Prove me wrong. 500k+ followers & they follow 75 people. Bullshit. Then all they talk about is the color of their feces. And 30k like it. There's peops here with real shit to say. But you'll never see them.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

I want to be able to text with my cats, I bet they'd have some interesting things to say

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments