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mrgreenmonkey.bsky.social
Seattle. He/him.
122 posts 670 followers 968 following
Prolific Poster

i am simply asking the press to cover the government sending masked thugs to rip people from their crying children and shipping them to a foreign concentration camp with the same ferocity they cover a trans kid playing jv tennis in sheboygan

“ok and what do you expect dems to do” well first of all I’d like a statement directed towards law enforcement agencies reminding them that dems will be in power one day, there will be investigations and “just following orders” isnt a legal defense

This morning I heard “Shock the Monkey.” When the DJ came back, he said, “The only way I would ever shock a monkey is by giving it two bananas when it only expected one,” and I said HELL yeah

In this moment of anxiety, please enjoy a baby goose falling out of an adult gooses wing. Yes I wrote that sentence. Yes this happened. Yes it's ADORABLE. No I don't think I'll capture a cuter goose moment this year. 🐣 🪶

Happy Pride

speaking of roadside america, here's something I saw on the way home from a trip up to Trekonderoga and friends, I have never turned a car around so quickly.

There are so many bunnies out

Dragon Quest 1 Hero after he beats 2 Slimes in one encounter for the first time

What is she thinking?

Spent about a decade as a gay dude which was pretty good. Like when you're a kid and you got a PS1 demo disc that you put a lot of hours into cause it's all you had at the time.

We used to be a proper country

chat am i hallucinating

The great thing about journalism is all the gifted reporters and editors have lost the jobs they went into debt to train for and sacrificed their emotional health to do well, but half a dozen middle-aged moral disasters are now the face of the whole discipline because they suck up to billionaires

wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey? guard: [looking away] fine wife: did something happen? guard: [tearing up] no wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?

Captain we are being hailed Onscreen Captain it appears to be a married individual holding open his a- Thank you Mr. Data

Azizi is 25 years old. Giraffes usually only live to 20 in captivity. Grandma giraffe!

That is the utterly unimpressed face of goat about to post a SCATHING review on your act to Pitchfork

The main difference between the Beatles and the Monkees to me is that I can imagine talking with a member of the Monkees for 15 minutes without rolling my eyes at their bullshit

“And I’m like, what do you mean, you ‘do your own research’? You running a double-blind study in your living room, dawg?” - A guy walking ahead of me with his friends on a NYC sidewalk in 2021, also my favorite overheard dialogue of the entire pandemic

video games were never meant to be 100 GB years of research yet no real-world use found for 4k textures wanted good graphics anyway, as a joke? we had a tool for that: it was called imagining that the game looked like the manual art

HANANIA: Interesting study on racial differences in skull volume as it relates to workforce efficiency. MUSK: Intriguing CUBAN: Minorities are just as efficient as whites if you manage them right! ANDREESSEN: Guys does my head look like a big giant egg CALACANIS: No way SACKS: Definitely not dude

Hummingbird moth, Richmond, VA. #birds #discover #wildlife

Popeye gets it.

if a guy says theyre CIA and they want you to DM every girl you ever jacked off to and apologize, Its a scam. Just ruined my life. Thank you

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller April 26,1962

people only become left handed if the mirror baby crawls out when nobody is looking and pushes the normal baby into the mirror dimension. it’s a sign of bad parenting

Spring reminder to support USPS (aka stop gov from gutting it and trying to make it private)! 🌸💌

odd that dril hasn't posted since the pope died

is any one in power willing to stand up and punish donkey kong for all the horrible noises he has made during his games

this is such good news. i think it is also an opportunity for democrats to state forthrightly that when they win power again everyone responsible for this crime will be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law and will face the american people to answer for their lawlessness

I said my main goal of this trip was to meet with Kilmar. Tonight I had that chance. I have called his wife, Jennifer, to pass along his message of love. I look forward to providing a full update upon my return.

Legit the best thing any Dem has done to date in response to Trump and it happened because he cared more about serving his constituents than public polling about immigration.

Happy Neil day to all who celebrate

as we head another day into Oh He Really Means It, Huh, I would like to note that I, random guy with a Kronk avatar, have been much more correct about what Trump would do than our erstwhile Master of Business I have achieved this by listening to what he actually said, not what I wanted him to say

my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content

We used to have Bob Eggs, Steve Nintendo, Johnny No Plane Crash. No we have no eggs, no Nintendo, many plane crash.

I must not be the first person to bring this up But there has never been a more vindicated guy

NEW: Bruce Springsteen announces 'Tracks II: The Lost Albums' box set, a massive collection featuring seven complete, unreleased albums recorded between 1983 and 2018, and an astonishing 74 previously unheard songs.

“American Cartoons don’t show beautifully animated food and slice of life cozy comforts the way Ghibli films do” Oh yeh?? Then explain THIS.

Hey “Far Beyond The Stars” episode of Deep Space Nine is on Pluto! I love how they decided to do an episode set in 1950’s NYC. It goes into the harsh reality of racism. Avery Brooks rocks it out youtu.be/MwzgtCwAnf8?...

(speaking into a flashlight) you had to make sure no one picked up the phone when you were checking your email

i’m losing it

Newman’s Own stuff rules. Everything is solid quality, the pasta sauce isn’t Rao’s but it’s solidly above Prego, all the ingredients make sense, it goes to charity. This is what rich people should do. Elon is sending his sperm around or some shit and Paul Newman is helping kids from beyond the grave