olmofojones.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

I'm sorry, I really thought Lorde and Gotye were the same person, like Donald Glover and Childish Gambino, lol.

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Ever since my new neighbor told me last Friday that she'd be praying for me?? I actually got like 150% worse. Girl must be praying to Satan. Eczema found my eyes today, too, so they're swollen and scaly. Chat, should I burn down her fuckin house with a stack of bibles before she escalates omg

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

"Aw, hell nah, cuh, are humans only allowed to shoot each other in the city? Well, sheeit, don't mind if I do!" Proceeds to eat up these people's flowers at 3pm on a Monday

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

You may remember how it started. Look at how it's going! 6" in diameter, 12" circumference, still draining. On oral and topical antibiotics. Apparently, latex is my poison ivy(to which I am immune); only part that's not dripping is where that waterproof latex bandaid ripped the skin clean off 😃

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

When Trump said “God protect the troops” I’m left wondering what type of anti missile system God has to stop a ballistic missile from hitting a US base or embassy? This is some “thoughts and prayers” in advance type shit.

submitted 5 days ago • 45 comments

Man, The Blue Angels don't hit the same since 2001, I ain't gon lie! Seafair 2002? Biiitch, I thought the Taliban was in Seattle - I couldn't even hear myself screaming as I held my dog and waited for death. The next year, I saw 2 old Vietnamese ladies dive into a doorway when they flew over ☹️

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Wasn't there some crazy astronaut affair/love triangle murder? They will disappoint you from across galaxies

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Somebody told me I look like this statue when we were walking by it, too! Surely they meant from the neck down, lol

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I could think of a million of these, but this one was crazy. Another time, a mf told me I liked like The Sphinx. As in THE sphinx, noseless mf on the damned pyramid?! Tf kinda sense that make?! Why do I even allow people to speak to me, smh. Alwaysdone bullshit. Jimi Hendrix, my ass!!

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom, but also a reminder: freedom delayed is freedom denied. #Juneteenth #BlackHistory #FreedomDay #NeverForget

submitted 8 days ago • 68 comments

Me, for over a decade: "Man, I just like getting regular stoned. I don't need all these extracts; next thing you know, they gon be free-basing the damned weed". BITCH, I -

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Watched #SouthernRites yesterday and hoooo-boy, I got half a mind to go to hell and be WAITING for Mr. Norman Neesmith, tell you tf what!

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Problem with the Discover tab is that I just saw somebody answer seriously the question of mankind's greatest creation with "The iPhone". Not any manner of medicine? Nor even art? The fuckin iPhone?! Man, I fuckin cannot stand the Dumb Bitch Energy in this heau assed world today

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

They still ain't found the guy that murdered his 3 little girls and I sincerely hope that one of our backwoods Okanogan brethren trapped his ass and got him buried up to his neck in the yard; just coming out every morning to throw rocks at him from the porch while they sip their coffee. 🙏🏾🙏🏾

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Happy Friday, don't forget your latex allergy when you slap a big ass bandaid on after you burned yourself to the white meat

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

POV: You thought you saw your friend in the park - but it wasn't them 😅 #DosEspressos

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

93° and they still sunbathing #DosXolos

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Man, this what happens when I don't stay true to myself. I do NOT be fuckin with dabs - one drop of oil hit and the goddamn skin dripped off my thigh like melted butter. Shout-out to waterproof band-aids, tho, I GUESS

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

"Oh, wait, I never heard back from so-and-so yester- shiiit, did I not hit "send"?" Nope. No, I sholl tf didn't 😅😅. From the top, mf's! 🎶Thank you for being a friend Even tho I text and don't hit "send"🎶

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

Okay, the kids are dying from a new trend called "Dusting" and it's really just huffing keyboard duster?? I'm sorry to laugh, but that's just fucking preposterous. They gon graduate to paint/rubber cement next? You just gon have to let them kids smoke weed before they find the oven cleaner, I guess

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Aunt said I should call my dad more often & I was like "Ugh, but his wife sucks" and her awkward expression reminded me that my dad's wife is her sister. She didn't expect me to say that, now she tryna be diplomatic but also find the lie 😂. Shit, girl, I got sisters, ain't no rules about liking them

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

I was 6 the first time I hopped a train. We would roll down hills in tires - no idea where we got them, btw; the scar in my eyebrow is from throwing broken glass* at a wasp nest. We were outside as fuck. Nobody knew were their damn kids were; it was a commercial that asked em at 10 each night!

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

elon and trump are meeting outside uniqlo on sunday 5pm. 3251 20th Ave, San Francisco, CA, 94132

submitted 22 days ago • 146 comments

Homeland Security & FBI agent Timothy Gregg has been arrested for producing images of himself sexually abusing a child. www.valleynewslive.com/2025/06/05/s...

submitted 22 days ago • 50 comments

Nuh-uh, we ain't taking the rap on this one, heau. Early reports were geographically correct, so I feel like #Leavenworth worked real fast to distance itself from this horrific incident, because why did #NPR just say "Rock Island Campground, near Wenatchee, in Eastern Washington"? Bb, that's all you

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Somebody keeps watering my garden boxes (🙏🏾🙏🏾 fr, fr) and I know they mean well(🤝🏾 🙌🏽 💖) but I'm actually trying to get on a fertilizer schedule and low key want them dead ☺️

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Because, babyy, don't you know that you can just pay me to make up some bullshit to tell you at any moment? Just today, I called my dog the Count of Booty Crusto; AI ain't dropping gems like that, dummy

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Watching while 100 cheesy cornballs get stomped into Cheeto dust like..

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Texas Christian University professor Charles Bellinger has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for possessing images of infants & toddlers being sexually abused. www.kxxv.com/news/texas-n...

submitted 23 days ago • 121 comments

They say all dogs go to heaven, but praying for my last dog, Nya, who straight up robbed a toddler of his McNuggets in the park, lord. Literally bolted from me, ran about 100 yards up to him on a swing, said "DROP THE NUGGETS!" Baby dropped em, she ate em and ran the hell off, out the park 🫠 RIP

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Sooo, I checked into the Diddy trial and I sho tf wish I had not, boy! Ngl, I thought some of the details were like..Twitter embellishments? So imagine you just cozied up eating your lil tuna melt when a mf gon ask a bih if she recall what the room smelled like after a Freak Off! I-

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Texas baptist pastor Nathan Roach has been arrested for child grooming. www.texomashomepage.com/news/crime/w...

submitted 24 days ago • 224 comments