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pittsburghmrs.bsky.social
Weird, Neurochaotic. Partaker of the herb. There’s always a soundtrack playing in my head and yes it’s fkn dramatic. Offering a humor shelter in a shit storm.
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Posts 34 Comments 16

I never “sowed my wild oats.” So now I’m knitting calm broccoli.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

So I wanna say something funny…I just fuckin can’t yet. I miss him so much.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I want to celebrate this beautiful soul who I lost today. Charlie you rescued me a thousand times over. My world is shattered. Love you so much my sweet boy. You have all the amazing lambys and snuggle blankets you could ever want now.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

A chocolate cake and an orgasm would fix me… actually just the cake would probably do it…if it’s carrot or German chocolate then definitely.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

The screaming stops when the reality improves.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I won’t come out of or pull you in to your TV. Worst I’ll do is change your channels through the window, from a parked station wagon across the street.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Geezus Herbert Walker Christ is it fuckin fall yet…

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

You gotta choke when you smoke, the cough gets you off*. *picks lung up off couch.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Hey would this wood crate hold someone about 6’4? Andddd banned from Home Depot.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Yes I’m eating cake for dinner. I’m working on my sweatpants body Barbara mind your business.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Hey pineapple tits! Is never a good way to start a conversation.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Took my dog to the vet today. As we left he stopped and proceeded to take a shit while maintaining direct eye contact with the receptionist. That’s how we roll.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My cousin’s best friend’s sister’s mom knew this girl named Annie. She got killed by some psycho in her car. She was on her way to pick up her boyfriend.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I’m gonna do this weird shit until someone notices it’s happening.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Friend of mine, Nancy, used to get yelled at for running in the hallway in high school. Never had a hall pass either. Not sure what happened to her.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I once slapped a girl in the face with a piece of bologna when we got into an argument in the cafeteria. I was an 8 year old fuckin cold cuts savage.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Ok so I have a wicked garden…please don’t run through it. Thank you for noticing this notice. Also no open burning please.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Ever go in someone’s house and it smells like they have hamsters but they indeed do not have hamsters…

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

If you stuck a pickle up your ass…full size dill strip nothing crazy but not a gherkin…bend over, and sneeze, could you, in theory, create a pickle missile?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Ok great the boys are back in town…but WHERE were they? Put that in your spongy matter. Let it roam around a while.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Fucked around and bought pajamas that remind me of a set I had as a kid. Feels pretty damn comfy cozy. Then my 🧠 being what it is said…hey…let’s start a pajama collection. And now I’m back on my bullshit. It’s the little things.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve become the old woman that’s is suspicious of everything.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Ok folks. Fess up. Which one of you stole my skin suit??

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

At this point I don’t think there is a bad guys dick he’s not sucking.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

This shit is primo! But careful. It can cause sudden Gary Busey syndrome.* *That thing where your mouth is so dry your upper lip rolls up and sticks to your teeth.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Welcome to the Jurassic time! Oh! Thank yo…I’m sorry what the fuck is that? Oh that’s a dinosaur…. A what!?? A Dino….*horrible roar NO. Nope. Yeet me Jesus! Who???

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

What if all the planets are totally uninhabitable because they USED to be what we are becoming…then somewhere someone will point at our big, empty, burned out rock and say “Hmmm wonder why there’s no life on that one?”And we won’t be able to warn them. They gotta do better. Anyway who wants cake!?

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

So hey Brain! 🧠: Yeah…. You know you’re a little fucked… 🧠: ….ok fair. So we’re going to take a pill and un fuck you… 🧠 : oh! Wel…. But there may be side effects. 🧠: Ohhhkkkkkkk…then what? Well then we can take another pill and… 🧠: Lemme stop ya there…

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

How has Simon Cowell NOT hit the bottom of his bullshit bucket yet…

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I miss the smell of ditto paper.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Ladies some of your eyebrows are not even cousins…those are next door neighbors who don’t like each other.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

In my big fuckin salad era.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

If you make a Biden cancer joke I hope someone shaves your entire body with a dull razor and rolls you in salt.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Need to unzip my head and air out my electric meatball.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments