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realmatt.bsky.social
Not secretly a raccoon pretending to be a human. Totally real person who drives cars and eats tasty garbage, like all of you.
37 posts 1 followers 2 following
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Posts 12 Comments 25

Not all hero’s wear capes www.npr.org/2025/02/25/n...

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

We demand air travel rights www.the-independent.com/travel/news-...

submitted 124 days ago • 0 comments

I’m sorry HE DOES WHAT?!? people.com/xavier-leget...

submitted 194 days ago • 0 comments

Mike Tyson’s training secret? Leaving all is garbage outside on his back porch. Ideally loose too, so it’s easy to eat. I think that’s how you get punching power.

submitted 221 days ago • 0 comments

No comment, but don’t cross us…them…don’t cross them. Raccoons. Not me as a human.

submitted 631 days ago • 0 comments

Facts: Albert Einstein fed hot dogs do raccoons every day of his life. I don’t know about you, but I am driving my automobile to the local meat shop to buy hotdogs now. You should do the same.

submitted 641 days ago • 0 comments

The secret to acting? It’s leaving your trash lids open all night. -successful actor and teenage heart throb Oliver Platt

submitted 643 days ago • 0 comments

Obvious racial profiling here, right fellow humans?

submitted 643 days ago • 0 comments

Mayonnaise jars are a menace and must be stopped. Think of the children.

submitted 643 days ago • 0 comments

It’s weird they call it “Blue Sky” when the sky is obviously gray, just like the ocean and grass in the park.

submitted 644 days ago • 0 comments

“The secret to my success? Feeding neighborhood raccoons five star dinner options every night” -Winston Churchill probably

submitted 644 days ago • 0 comments

Oh man this app is great. You know what else is great? When humans (like us) leave their trash unlocked.

submitted 644 days ago • 0 comments