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saintjet.bsky.social
🐍 the messages I couldn’t send him.
120 posts 3 followers 1 following
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The old you would’ve never let my messages just sit there without being red. The old you would want to talk to me and be really animated and engaged. You’re no longer engaged.

Talking to you feels like talking to a guy that’s kinda interested in you but doesn’t care to make any real effort.

I know that I hurt you, but why stay if you hate me? You say you don’t but man…

You don’t go into detail anymore about your day, and you don’t tell me how it went hanging out with others. Talking to you is like pulling teeth.

I wonder if when birds fly a little too high, do they get scared? Like do they think maybe ok.. I’ve done enough. Let me go back down.

I think we’re detaching. You’re detached. I’m just catching up.

Post shroom rage.

I think we need our own space again.

Right about now, fairly odd parents are supposed to pop up right? RIGHT?

You were entering the anger part of grief while I was just coming into the sadness.

Dark side of the moon.

Bird still chirp at night.

I don’t like this post shroom feeling. I feel like I’m in a weird loop.

There’s a spiraling feeling in the pit of my stomach

This morning I didn’t want to be alive. Now I feel better due to distractions but there’s a lingering dread. Never doing shrooms again.

People tell me I don’t have to carry things alone and then when I lean on them for support, they say they don’t know how to help me. This is why I isolate. I don’t allow myself to have deep emotional relationships because of this.

Everything is so fucking stupid.

Today I asked about going on vacation and after an, “of course I’d love to”, came the excuses as to how it’ll be difficult to do so. Why don’t you ever make an effort.

I feel so alone.

Both were experienced today.

How im tryna be

Everything feels different. The distance and your job is making it so much worse. I’m working overtime to not believe that this is over.

I want you to talk to me cause you want to, not cause it’s an obligation.

Somewhere, out there.

The way my body has transformed is insane.

When the people fight back, they’ll step in to help.

It’s sick and twisted how we can go from love to hate so easily.

I hate that you have do not disturb on. It’s never shown up on my screen and it just sucks you’re not obsessed with me anymore.

I think I’ve rewatched this like 30 times at this point. Dom + Letty type.

Dom + Letty 💕

Damn my body really do look different.

Lately I’ve been using all of my glasses. I have a pair I use at my desk, another pair for night time, and my regular dailies.