Profile avatar
sassyteach24.bsky.social
Cautiously optimistic about people and life in general. 40s. She/Her. Searchlink: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eswrm3ncghcprue3b7dnurfr/feed/aaaepewpsahim
1,231 posts 1,495 followers 585 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 38 Comments 12

I would walk barefoot over hot koalas for you.

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

what evil have i done in my life to make netflix recommend “trainwreck poop cruise” to me so many times

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

*no lifeguard on duty sign* why do you have that sign here [bank teller] well you need to know in case you take a credit card [me] but im not gonna swim in debt [bank teller] we know youll probably drown

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I bet if I were dead I'd make a great scarecrow

submitted 1 day ago • 20 comments

Give a man a fish He’ll fuck it

submitted 3 days ago • 51 comments

Jurassic World - Butthole

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

But what if being batshit crazy is the only thing keeping me alive at this point?

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

Lock, stock and two smoking buttholes

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Bluesky is just like family to me. No one throws me out but I'm just sort of here.

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

imagine hating me no hate-ier HATE-IER

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

First date idea: can we skip that bullshit named romantic kindness and go directly to our faults, please?

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

M3GAN, but with a Furby.

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

I fucking love her

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Bought some new lotions. It didn't solve my problems but at least my skin is soft and I smell like dessert.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Them: Are you on a break? Me: I am on "the lack of time"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

oh man so embarrassing i checked my best before date and its true im rotten

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Just rewatched Copycat from 1995 since they just added it to Netflix. My god I love Sigourney Weaver and Holly Hunter.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Shield me from the lightning and I’ll hold you through the thunder.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Playing along with a YouTube trivia video and all of a sudden… NOTABLE?!?! Fucking NOTABLE?! A woman DIED!! Jesus fucking Christ

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

I'm at my most claustrophobic when I'm trapped in my own head.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

If you're barking up the wrong tree, does it still make a sound?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

This email could have been a “good morning, beautiful” DM.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes you just need a good ass grab after a light spank.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Just bought my first tongue scraper and tried it. I’d now like to humbly apologize to anyone I’ve ever kissed ever.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

*receives text* “Your opinion matters! “ Shut up. Leave me alone

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

Wanna come over? I’ll make soup and let you play in my fort.

submitted 20 days ago • 22 comments

I blocked you. Please respond.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Goddamn but I enjoy some of you! (not you, sit down)

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

Face down, ass up, like a Canada goose.

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

I swear I only watch Statham movies ironically.

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

tell your mom I have no more onlyfans money this month

submitted 22 days ago • 9 comments

I need a four day work week forever

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

I could be funny, smart, or insanely hot, but I chose the path of humility.

submitted 24 days ago • 6 comments

Never make a promise you can’t reschedule.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

I was addicted to country and western dancing My psychiatrist had to put me in a two-step program

submitted 36 days ago • 2 comments

I have become very large and difficult to look at, not unlike the sun.

submitted 24 days ago • 8 comments

Sweet dreams to everyone except those who post pics of a ton of baby spiders.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

I have to remind myself to speak as lovingly to my kids as I do my sweet lil pets the cutey patootie cutey pies lil angels they are my lil honey bunches smooch smooch smooch

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments