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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Charles Schulz based The Peanuts on real kids, releasing the first strip in 1950. In 1969, he set out to bring back the gang in a new strip based on the kids as adults. The plan fell apart when he learned that Charlie Brown had been killed in Viet Nam, fragged by his own men.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Although credited to anonymous, scholars maintain that Walt Whitman likely wrote the first dirty version of The Man From Nantucket. They know for certain that he wrote the limerick about the hermit named Dave.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Sinead O’Connor ended up with her first name because the K and the H didn’t work on the hospital’s typewriter when she was born. Still, she maintained the haircut she was named after, even with the missing letters.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The No. 2 pencil got its name from the fact that the lead is made from fossilized dinosaur dung.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Originally, Iron Maiden’s “Number Of The Beast” was chosen to be the theme song for the sitcom Friends, but that made no sense and was kind of a stupid idea, so they switched to The Rembrandts song, “I’ll Be There For You.”

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! A car accident was the cover story, but the truth is that Sammy Davis Jr. lost his left eye in a game of I Bet I Can Poke Out Your Left Eye With A Stick. That day’s winner, Dean Martin, retired from competition in 1972, undefeated, after a tense match with Sandy Duncan.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Leveraging his friendship with Trump, Ted Nugent has proposed changing the National Anthem to “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.” It’ll probably fucking happen.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Mary Todd Lincoln’s bizarre behavior in the White House was the inspiration for the 2006 Buckcherry song “Crazy Bitch.”

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Book Release Day! The Bad Fairy is available to order, finally! It’s been a long road with a lot of bumps, but it’s here. At 556 pages, it can also be used as a doorstop, a step for a high shelf, or a weight to hold down a rampaging toddler. www.amazon.com/dp/B0F87SK3M...

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Although not on the KFC menu, there is a three piece dinner, available by request only, that comes with two beaks and a claw. It’s known as the Voodoo Box.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Before the 1990 passage of the Americans With Disabilities Act, the Wheel Of Fortune game show fired puzzle writer Glenn Vindman due to his severe stutter. They argued that they kept running out of letters when he insisted they present his puzzles verbatim.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Unmonitored chickens and ducks left overnight in a Tractor Supply Outlet store in Tennessee managed to breed together, somehow, producing strange offspring known as chucklings.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

The haggling is done! Finally! I signed the galley, cover, and retail pricing approval forms last night. The Bad Fairy will be going live shortly. I’m excited. I was able to get $10 knocked off the retail price. It’s a big book, but the price is now commensurate with trad books this size.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Mr. Whipple suffered from such severe OCD that squeezing the Charmin was the least of his problems. It took him hours to leave the house everyday, rechecking the oven and all the light switches, as well as struggling against unwanted compulsive deviant sexual thoughts.

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I’m brainstorming while I work today. I’m in limbo on the writing front while I get this book release figured out. The book is too big and it’s causing a crazy expensive retail price. And this is the smallest book of the series. I’m figuring out where to break it into two books.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Imprisoned rap mogul Suge Knight has written a children’s bedtime book entitled, Go To Sleep Or I’ll Fucking Kill You.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Several Hindu Nationalist organizations banded together in 1999 to finally sue the designer of the Japanese flag for plagiarism, claiming rightful ownership of the red dot.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! In the 2024 Kentucky Derby a horse named Spun Out placed nineteenth out of twenty. That fact is more impressive when you realize that Spun Out was actually two hillbilly meth heads in a horse costume.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The number one selling Kidz Bop album of all time is their tribute to Public Enemy, Fear Of A Kid Planet.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The Giant Japanese Hornet, aka the Murder Hornet, has gotten a bad rap. Not particularly aggressive toward humans, deaths are rare and unintentional, making them, at worst, 2nd Degree Manslaughter Hornets.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The top Scandinavian rap group for the last several years has been NWA. Norwegians With Attitudes.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Celebrities do not naturally die in threes. There is a secret government agency that enforces the Rule Of Three, selecting two more celebrities of comparable level to the first dead star, terminating them to maintain the status quo.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! 1976: Mr. Rogers steps onto the world stage, trying to broker peace between Israel and the PLO. With all parties around a campfire with graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows, his logic is sound. “Wars rhymes with S’mores. And who can fight when you’re eating S’mores?”

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Dog the Bounty Hunter is trying his hand at real acting for the first time, landing the role of Marjorie Taylor Greene in the based-on-true-events movie of the January 6th Insurrection.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Between Viet Nam and Desert Storm, America enjoyed the longest peacetime in our history, leading to a lull in new combat veterans. Concerns over the lost revenue and dues of several VFW Posts led the organization to briefly consider membership to veterans of the Cola Wars.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has such a refined palate that he can differentiate between left or right Twix by taste alone.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Many Gen Xers were deeply traumatized in 1979 by the rumor that Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials had died by chasing Pop Rocks with Coca Cola. It was quite a relief when we learned he was actually stabbed to death in a Mexican whorehouse.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! During the years of the Jack The Ripper murders, critics of Scotland Yard found it infuriating that the police had so much trouble bringing the killer to justice. How hard could it be to find a man with a middle name like The?

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! In a twist of irony, Luigi Mangione’s assassination of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson has led to a swell of popularity, turning him into an industry unto himself. As such, he is now the CEO of Death To CEOs Incorporated.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The activist group Injun Trouble, a precursor to the American Indian Movement, is believed by some conspiracy theorists to have participated in the assassination of JFK, citing as evidence the supposed presence of a stone-tipped arrow found in the Presidential limo.

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🎼And they call it Puppy Love🎼

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Money has never meant that much to poor little rich boy Kid Rock. As a child he refused cash from his father, instead taking his allowance in the form of permission to burn the help with cigarettes.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Kid Rock is a direct descendant of Festus Haggen, the scruffy, cantankerous, and illiterate character from Gunsmoke. Not Ken Curtis, the actor who played Festus, but the fictional character himself.

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I think I may end up using this a lot.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Many lesser known right wing media outlets may, in fact, go bankrupt from dishing out continuous “catch and kill” payments to hide the twice weekly series of photos of Lauren Boebert jerking off Kid Rock in the toy section of a Nashville Walmart.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! When Kid Rock is struggling with a dilemma he always consults his Magic 8-ball. If, after a while, that hasn’t helped him to figure out a solution he just snorts another Magic 8-ball.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Kid Rock is the result of a one dollar bet between Randolph and Mortimer Duke about whether or not they could take a child born to wealth and privilege and turn him into a white trash redneck rapper with the class and mentality of a meth dealing carny.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The Jockey Club is the governing body that decides what names are acceptable for racehorses, judging the suggested names by many criteria. Rules against obscenity and poor taste were instituted in 1964 when Carl, You Fuck! came in third at the Belmont Stakes.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Using GROK as Dungeon Master, Elon Musk has launched Dungeons & Dragons team building sessions at the White House. Elon is a True Neutral Troll. Hegseth is a Lawful Drunk Barbarian. Trump is a Chaotic Evil Thief. And Trump isn’t even playing in the game.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Community colleges in Texas have attempted to take up the slack left from the new abortion ban by offering classes for back alley abortionist certification. It’s going to be a growth industry over the next few years.

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Adult film star Johnny Gayporn had a tough time breaking into the business, due to his name and the fact that he was heterosexual. His manager suggested that he change his name, but he refused, insisting that he had always loved the name Johnny.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! The Mexican government realized its mistake immediately when they granted civil liberties to animals, clearing the way for a lawsuit allowing a hippo to star in a donkey show. The results were catastrophic and extremely disturbing.

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IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! Barron Trump’s real father is Brian Steele, the actor who plays Sasquatch in the Jack Links Jerky commercials. The resemblance is uncanny.

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! In 1968, Leonard Fulch unsuccessfully sued the Perryman Janitorial Supply Company for false advertising, angrily claiming, “These urinal mints don’t taste like mint! They taste like piss and chemicals!”

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! In one of the biggest intelligence failures of the last century, neither the FBI or Secret Service paid a bit of attention to what John Hinckley Jr. said he would do for a Klondike Bar.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

IT’S PROBABLY A FACT! In 1894, scientists coined the name Homo erectus after finding the first fossil in Indonesia of an “upright ape man”, setting off the longest chain of juvenile giggling in history. It continues to this day.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments