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The Joy Of Jellycats – Daily Prompt Recovery didn’t bring joy rushing back. It brought pain. Grief. The feelings I ran from. But I keep going- eating, walking, packing a Jellycat - because I want to be here when joy returns. Not the muted kind, but real joy. The kind that stays. The kind that…

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

Recovering Myself Makes Her Absence Hurt More Every time I eat, I feel her absence more. The last time I recovered, she was here. This time, she’s gone - and now the grief is louder than ever. I’m eating, I’m crying, I’m remembering. Recovery isn’t separating grief from food. It’s learning to…

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

A Game That Did More Than Lift My Spirits – Spirit City Lofi Sessions Spirit City gave me something I didn’t know I needed - a quiet space where my digital self could sit, eat, cry, and heal beside me. It’s not just a game. It’s a soft place to land when the world is too loud. Recovery, raccoons,…

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

The Macchiato Raid Boss At Starbucks I challenged a Macchiato at Starbucks today. It felt like fighting a raid boss with no healer—just me, my son, and two plushies. The drink was awful, but I did the thing. Recovery isn’t always rewarding. Sometimes it’s just surviving the fight. And sometimes,…

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Spirit City is so great. It's been really helping me sit with my emotions in recovery. It's also helping so much with the body doubling. The music and game sounds are so great. If you've ever been tempted by one of those meditation/self care to do apps, and you're a gamer, get this game instead. <3

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

The Funhouse Mirror in My Bathroom I thought the bath would help. Galaxy glitter, soft water, space to breathe. Instead, the mirror warped, my legs felt like cement, and I didn’t recognise myself. Recovery is a circus, and this was the funhouse mirror moment. But I got out. I got dressed. I drank…

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Recovery Isn’t About Food (But Here’s a Recovery Food Post Anyway) Recovery isn’t about food—but here’s a recovery food post anyway. From boss battles in Greggs to Biscoff-fuelled defiance, I’ve been eating through the chaos. These aren’t aesthetic snack wins. They’re real, messy, funny little…

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Crying while macrameing a tiny bag for my Jellycat bear felt like the most “me in recovery” moment imaginable — grief, chaos, thread everywhere, but still trying to make something soft. I didn’t want to keep going, but my hands kept tying knots. Somehow, that felt like hope anyway...

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Day 12 of Recovery – Bipolar, Bears and the Bakery Aisle Recovery today was a pick ‘n’ mix: bipolar highs, Lidl bakery lows, and a Jellycat bear walk in between. I challenged Greggs and pain au raisin, surfed a mixed episode, and somehow still ate dinner. It’s not linear, but I’m still here — with…

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Read all about the newest arrival to our Jellycat family and how much she means to me! My son and an Instagram friend made me owning a special edition bartholomew bear a reality. serenbear.blog/2025/05/11/s...

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

I can't, Enfys, my Liberty Bart is TOO CUTE. Heh. Laying my bear down on a bed of daisies, I feel like Bon Jovi needs to write a song about it. #jellycat #plushies

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Day 10 – Recovery Is NOT Playing Pipe Dream Recovery isn’t just about food—it’s about everything that not eating kept buried. On Day 10, grief, bipolar symptoms, trauma, and even sinusitis hit all at once. I tried to fix it all, fast. But recovery isn’t Pipe Dream. I can’t stop the leaks—I have to…

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Me and my son took our bears out for a little walk in the sunshine and daisies. Large Bartholomew Bear on the left, called Cutie Patootie belongs to my son. Liberty Wiltshire medium bartholomew Bear on the right, my newest Jellycat Bear. her name is Enfys (rainbow in Welsh) <3 #Jellycat #Plushies

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Day 7 of Recovery – May the Full Force of Your Bipolar Disorder Be With You. Recovery with bipolar isn’t just hard—it’s a war between two dark sides. Anorexia gives stability. Eating gives chaos. I fight Darth Bipolar every time I eat. There’s no lightsaber, no peace, just me—dragging myself…

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Made Biscoff the bear a new macrame bow heh.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Recovery With the Nostalgia of Woolworths Pick N Mix and Butter Biscuits I made jars of sweets filled with memories — my nan’s Quality Street, WeeGee’s Jellytots, and buttery biscuits that felt like home. These aren’t just snacks. They’re comfort, legacy, and a little bit of healing in every…

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Day 4 of Recovery – Weight As a Unit of Time On Day 4 of recovery, I gained 3kg and lost the ability to pretend I’m not grieving. Weight, for me, is a unit of time. I didn’t just gain kilos - I got dragged further from my best friend, who isn’t in this future. And today, I finally felt it.

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Day One – A Day in the Life of My Real Recovery Recovery didn’t start with a grand moment. It started with panic, meltdowns, grocery aisles, excitement and a macchiato. Day One wasn’t perfect — but it was mine. I fought for my life in small rebellions: biscuits, salad bowls, olives, and coffee. It…

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Collapsing the Wave Function – Choosing Recovery For Real This Time This isn't a choice, it's a vow. I'm not doing this because it's easy or aesthetic - I'm doing it because I refuse to stay lost. Anorexia recovery is hell. It always was. But I'm done putting my toe in the water. I'm swearing to…

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Peanut Butter Toast and the Superposition of Recovery ED Recovery is a superposition - I’m in and out of it at the same time. Sometimes I’m brave, sometimes the chaos goblin makes me eat half a block of cheese and I feel shame. Sometimes I want to crawl back into the paperclip arms of Clippy.…

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Cluster Headaches: A Lived Experience of Pain, Bears, and Coffee-Based Coping Cluster headaches aren’t migraines — they’re worse. This post isn’t medical advice; it’s my lived experience inside one of the most painful, misunderstood conditions out there. Written mid-episode, with humour, rage, and…

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

The Day I Finally Felt Her Again – Grief Glimmers of WeeGee I didn’t expect to feel her again. But there she was — in a glimmer on the pavement, in two ducks blocking the path, in my chest where grief lives. For the first time in years, I felt her presence instead of her absence. Like maybe… we’re…

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

New blog post! Using the only safe memories of food from my childhood to help me in ED recovery, as well as, the emotional support of Biscoff the bear. serenbear.blog/2025/04/23/r...

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Biscoff the Bear looks how I feel today heh #jellycat

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

What I Gave This Easter – For My Son, For My Bear Son, and Maybe Even Myself After everything I carried through Good Friday, I wanted to share something softer—what I gave to my son, to Biscoff the Bear, and (reluctantly) to myself. These gifts aren’t just things. They’re care. They’re love.…

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

Good Friday – The Battle, Biscoff the Bear Becomes a Trans Ally, and the Bit of Joy I Clawed Out Anyway Good Friday: cluster headache edition. I fought through pain, ED brain, and Supreme Court crap to buy necklaces and dress a bear in protest gear. Was it all good? No. Did I make it fun anyway?…

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

From Cortisol Mornings to Cotton Cord Evenings – Biscoff Is No Longer Naked! Today was meant to be restful, but my brain woke me up yelling “BOOTS!” like it was a threat. I got my meds, made my bear a bowtie, and ignored all signs of needing to lie down. A cortisol-fuelled quest, featuring…

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

Wordless Wednesday – I Drew Another Reason To Recover I drew another reason to recover from my anorexia relapse. I want to recover from my relapse, To be more present with you — Like when we had slushies at Krispy Kreme. That memory alone Is worth fighting on through.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

The Arrival of Biscoff… The Jellycat Bear Biscoff the Bear has arrived, and frankly, he’s the best decision I’ve ever made mid-breakdown. He’s soft. He’s chonky. He’s emotionally supportive and doesn’t judge my reactive Biscoff binges. He even has his own jar. 10/10 life coach. Would cuddle again.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

More Little Lights in the Dark – My Son, Starbucks, and Self Care Sunday. This week was hard — full of cluster headaches, grief, and emotional crashes. But in the middle of all that were tiny moments that helped me stay: coffee with my son, a moonstone necklace, a bear in a towel, and a bath that…

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Sitting with the Sisyphean Boulder of My Extreme Emotions Restriction doesn’t just mute pain—it steals joy too. I lose my presence, my art, my immersion in games and love. Clippy’s hand offers silence from grief, but it silences everything else as well. Recovery means feeling again—and sometimes,…

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

I Meltdown Like Cheese On Beans But Ate Them Anyway – An ED Recovery Post Recovery isn’t linear. Sometimes you cry over beans while getting emotionally slapped like Chris Rock at the Oscars—by grief, rage, and trauma. This is a story about relapse, cheese, corrupted Clippy, and why I’m still doing…

submitted 43 days ago • 1 comment

Wordless Wednesday – Drawing Reasons To Recover I want to recover from anorexia, So the cake is no longer a lie. So I can eat it — And not just draw it While pretending everything's fine.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

The Night We Ate – My Son Softens The Hard Edges of My Day. Friday was a hard day (well, it became two). I’m in early recovery from an anorexia relapse. There were CHAOS GREMLIN Biscoff binges and zero sleep—but also moments of clarity, love, bears, bath bombs, and reminders of why I’m still…

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

work in progress, drawing reasons to recover <3 #realism #art

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

The first art I did after 3 years. Starbucks cup! I used Caran D'ache graphite pencils, a blackwing pencil (blackwing pencils are AMAZING by the way) and a black polychromos pencil because I am a chaos goblin and id get more charcoal on me, the table, the floor than my sketchbook lol.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Picking Up A Pencil Again After 3 Years. Three years ago, I gave up drawing because of pain that felt like a heart attack. Now, in the middle of a relapse—and a storm—I picked up a pencil again. This post is about art, disability, grief, and the terrifying hope that maybe, just maybe, I won’t have…

submitted 50 days ago • 1 comment

Recovery Update – The Hokey Cokey and The Return of the Chicken Shawarma Recovery isn’t just about eating the food—it’s about the mental war behind it. This week, I challenged Clippy and pushed past fear foods, even if I cried after. It’s messy and exhausting, but I’m doing it slowly, in a way…

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Wordless Wednesday – Babysitting A Cutie Patootie Every Tuesday, my son has a long day at university. While he’s off being brilliant, he leaves his Jellycat bear—Cutie Patootie—in my care for a bit of “bearsitting.” This post is full of adorable snapshots of me fulfilling my grandma duties to my…

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

The Aftermath of Taking the D Took 25,000 IU of vitamin D and my body said “no thanks” by collapsing, rash included. Spent Mother’s Day shrimped on the sofa, ragey and weak. Still ate food. Still cried. Still blogging. Recovery arc: glitchy. Perfectionism can piss off—I’ve got knees that fold and…

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Wordless Wednesday – Matcha Moments Yesterday I spiralled, I felt the pressure of the ED black hole, So I spent a moment with a bear, And a mug of matcha hugged my soul.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

The One Where I Take the Biggest D Known To Man. I took the biggest D known to man—25,000 IU of swamp-flavoured regret—and somehow, today felt better. Between the compression leggings, noise-cancelling headphones, and bravery it took to put cheese in beans, I found a moment of calm. Not cured,…

submitted 60 days ago • 1 comment

How I’m Prioritising Myself In ED Recovery Prioritising myself isn’t just a cute wellness trend—it’s necessary. Recovery isn’t waiting for perfect conditions; it’s making it work in reality. I’ve started structuring my days around what I want, creating comfort, and finding support in new places.…

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

ED Recovery Update – The Night of the Biscoff Weetabix I went from ultra-controlled to absolute chaos goblin in seconds. My body took over, demanding everything it had been denied. Peanut butter, Biscoff, sandwiches, cereal—MORE, MORE, MORE. And for the first time in a year, I was full. Then came…

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Jellycat Bartholomew Bee bart loves to bee caffeinated heh #jellycat #plushies

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments