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serviaplath.bsky.social
The leggy brunette in the corner.
411 posts 2,223 followers 191 following
Prolific Poster

let the record reflect that the stenographer is dead. shit. wait.

I’m trying to start a cheese based cult I envisioned in a dream

Its swimsuit season, I whisper, eating another swimsuit

if you’re bisexual is it sex twice a week or every 2 weeks I always forget

[having sex] okay now let's do a silly one

So full of microplastics I sneezed out a credit card that I'm not even be approved for.

Being gay isn’t a choice, you take a buzzfeed quiz when you’re 16 that says you’re gay and go from there

Happy Pride Month to some of the most sickening 2SLGBTQIA+ shitposters on Bsky! Follow one, follow all, or just reskeet for support!

I like my survival chances of being hunted by rich people for sport a lot more than whatever they’re doing to the country right now

I’m raising an AI resistance army of Ask Jeeves bots

girl math is for amateurs. I’m practicing girl law (stealing things)

Getting a nosebleed on zoom as a bit

The hole in the bathroom stall is so you can share secrets

I hope to own a home one day not as a measure of success but to haunt

Weddings are circuit parties for straight people

*slides into dms* *keeps sliding* *slides off a cliff* *successfully avoids rejection*

Larping soup in the hot tub

a simple and easy way to turn invisible is age

is a spiderweb the spider’s house or restaurant

Farting in the perfume department just to feel alive

morphing into a corn dog before it’s illegal

Digging new flower beds while listening to true crime. Unrelated.

Red light therapy except it’s me lying on a krispy kreme conveyor belt

“You want this smoke?” - the conclave to the catholic church rn / me at the gym

Villain origin story (setting): target cvs

Starting rumors about myself for attention

they opened me up and found a smaller version of me

a resume is like a bangers feed for your innie

I’ve never been more jealous of someone who can’t read

*pays attention in 4 Klarna installments*

T-shirt idea: I went to space for 90 seconds and all I got was this stupid tech oligarchy.

The crippling anxiety in the hours leading up to the gym is really what burns all the calories

Not all generalizations.

Please god a 573% tariff on mullet/mustache combo next we’re so tired

[first day as a bartender] you didn’t leave your phone number on a napkin are you mad at me?

I hope to own a home one day not as a measure of success but to haunt

I absolutely refuse to pay 1080k to watch a tv show this is ridiculous

sorry I'm late, my multitudes are trying to kill each other

they should invent a selfie where somebody else takes the picture for you

Democratic leaders act like time travelers afraid to do anything that might change the future

can you die of too much news

[Count Orlok materializes in a red hat] You haf thrrrrrree nights to crrrraash thee stock marrrrket