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shoutinggoddess.bsky.social
Books are my favourite things to fall in love with.
161 posts 1,489 followers 516 following
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If your partner says they are "tired", it's important to calmly explain that you are also tired, more so even, for you work much harder. Follow me for more marriage advice!

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

You're beautiful when you're angry and thousands of miles away.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

You know they made the lawnmower loud so you can’t hear the grass screaming.

submitted 74 days ago • 48 comments

church: you should be more like jesus me: *gets nailed by some dudes* church: no, no … not like that

submitted 22 hours ago • 3 comments

This is a dumb time to post, like every other time.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

[petting two cats] I’m so good at petting two cats at once with my two arms [a third cat approaches] fuck

submitted 155 days ago • 15 comments

It's amazing that I started with zero followers just 46 years ago

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

*Sucks stomach in seductively*

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

not loving this slow moving apocalypse tbh

submitted 9 days ago • 13 comments

Champagne is my favorite "breakfast wine"

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Joke thief- BLOCK Bot acct- BLOCK Mean person- BLOCK Bad vibe- BLOCK Annoying @er- BLOCK Too much politics- BLOCK Trouble maker- BLOCK Finds someone who blocked me- I. AM. APPALLED.

submitted 13 days ago • 9 comments

I think what I like about most of you is that we'll probably never meet in person.

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Who called it insomnia and not resisting a rest

submitted 15 days ago • 8 comments

“Are the cops gone?” “Yeah.” “Thanks buddy, I owe you one.”

submitted 16 days ago • 19 comments

Calling someone who opposes Netanyahu's genocide "anti semitic" is akin to calling someone allergic to shellfish "anti food"

submitted 16 days ago • 7 comments

Always leave them wanting amnesia.

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

oh you thought i kept my car keys under the visor like in every movie ever? haha, no. that's where i keep my loose glitter.

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

If by "morning person" you mean I wake up at 4 am staring into the inky blackness imagining horrific outcomes, then yes, I'm a morning person.

submitted 200 days ago • 26 comments

Having a child is crazy, what if you don’t like them

submitted 16 days ago • 11 comments

My new fave typo is "muddle aged".

submitted 16 days ago • 5 comments

Welcome to your 50's. You move your lips when you think now.

submitted 18 days ago • 13 comments

I remember when it was still thrilling to chat to strangers. Lol.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

do panic attacks count as cardio?

submitted 18 days ago • 29 comments

When everything reminds you of him

submitted 24 days ago • 6 comments

My preferred pronouns are your majesty

submitted 23 days ago • 8 comments

I wonder if therapists ever say "Yeah, but I've only heard your side" before dishing the advice.

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

I'm not putting things off—I’m building suspense. ✨

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

My toxic trait is saying "we’ll see" knowing damn well I already saw and the answer is fuck no.

submitted 28 days ago • 3 comments

Cher didn’t survive the 80s, 90s, and 37 divorces for you to cry over a man who texts “k”

submitted 30 days ago • 7 comments

Welcome to your 50s. If someone asks you how you are doing they mean your health. How’s your health, old person

submitted 34 days ago • 35 comments

If she doesn't remember Chorepush, she's too young for you bro.

submitted 38 days ago • 1 comment