sirmichaeltake.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Bunty & I are off on a short break to a luxury hotel & spa for a few days. Bunty is hoping to get a good rolfing & get her mounds cupped. She’s also booked an Indian flap massage. I’m just looking forward to a good old phalange rub & a happy ending. See you back here on Sunday!😊

submitted 2 days ago • 19 comments

This makes me SICK to the core! 🤬 How bloody dare he… This blatant promotion of millefeuille by a smug so called socialist whilst ordinary people have lost their sausages to the EU is DESPICABLE . No wonder this country is falling apart. 😡

submitted 3 days ago • 26 comments

I see GB News is now using pantomime dame Christopher Biggins as a political analyst.😳 What next? Ant & Dec to debate banning the burqa? Bradley Walsh to solve the Gaza crisis? Alison Hammond to analyse Rachel Reeves’ spending review? Katie Price to discuss NHS funding? 🥺

submitted 4 days ago • 49 comments

As I’m buying my beef, Len our village butcher accosts me. He’s been to a Reform meeting last night. Afterwards they apparently went to a pub & had a drink. ‘Us Reform lads & lasses know how to let our hair down’ Len garbles as he shows me the evidence: 😧

submitted 6 days ago • 56 comments

Elon Musk & Donald Trump’s bitter feud. It reminds me of when Paul McCartney split with John Lennon & left the Bay City Rollers. When Judas broke up with Jesus When Pliers left Chaka Demus We need Elon & Trump to get back together again. They are our last hope for world peace. 😔

submitted 7 days ago • 47 comments

If Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s baby had been born in Britain: 🇬🇧

submitted 8 days ago • 24 comments

Just look! As Keir Starmer cosies up to the EU, British citizens are being treated like dirt by foreigners. Whilst on holidays poor Susan Edwards was discriminated against & humiliated due to CULINARY BULLYING. This would never have happened in Boris’s day. SORT IT OUT STARMER!😡

submitted 9 days ago • 193 comments

Here’s some exclusive film from yesterday as the head of Reform’s DOGE unit met employees from Kent County Council…😬

submitted 10 days ago • 19 comments

Jill in the shop, my wife Bunty & my good self have become our village’s DOGE unit. So far we have cut out: Tourists from Leeds Men in trackies All forms of jegging Cyclists Vegans Simple Sally’s job in the village shop Role play Shabba Ranks Crocs Country music Lynx deodorants.

submitted 11 days ago • 37 comments

Yesterday morning I came across this rather shabby strange man in a lift. He kept babbling away about fat people and Victorian lifts. It was, to put it mildly, rather sad. Does anyone know who this poor chap is? He probably just needs a nice cup of tea and someone to talk to.😔

submitted 13 days ago • 63 comments

Just been chatting to my old pal Robert Jenrick. I’m beginning to believe that the recent publicity might have gone to his head a little bit…🤔

submitted 14 days ago • 39 comments

These young guys rock. They’re slay They’re dope They’re lit They’re virgin and they’re young Conservatives. They don’t need the obscene wrap music of Irish band The Kneecaps. All they need is a pint, a chat & a chance to rule us. So bloody loveable. ❤️

submitted 15 days ago • 41 comments

Len the extremist right wing butcher in our village is delighted. Tommy Robinson has been released from prison. Len is proudly showing customers photos of Tommy being reunited with his family. That’s Tommy (top left). 🇬🇧

submitted 16 days ago • 32 comments

Incredible news from Lincolnshire Council, newly taken over by Reform. The councillor in charge of finance & resources is thinking of defecting to UKIP. Has Dame Andrea been informed? 😧

submitted 17 days ago • 47 comments

My wife Bunty and I had Nadine Dorries over for tea yesterday. We had a lovely time. Nads was great company and as you can tell from my photo she is looking more healthy and relaxed than she has ever done. ❤️

submitted 18 days ago • 56 comments

It’s fair to say that NONE of the current crop of British politicians has the integrity and intelligence of this man:

submitted 19 days ago • 89 comments

Hoodies. Tattoos. Trackies. 😡 These 3 things have led to ordinary British working class people looking like sinister drug addicts & muggers. Under a Conservative govt they would all be BANNED. And anyone caught in possession of them will be immediately extradited to Rwanda. 🇬🇧

submitted 20 days ago • 35 comments

Why we Tories WON’T do a deal with Reform: A lot of ‘em live in Dubai. They’re oiks. We have a tough leader in Kemi, she uses words like ‘shafted’ & ‘arse.’ Lee Anderson falls apart if you sniggle at him. Ann Widdecombe’s damp cave. Farage is never in the country. They all moult. 😖

submitted 21 days ago • 29 comments

The state of world leaders today!😔 Britain has a flip flop PM who hates our fish & pensioners. Russia is led by a nutcase. Ukraine has a president who won’t wear a suit. France chose a chap who married his dad. As for the USA they elected an orange man who can’t even open a box.😬

submitted 23 days ago • 24 comments

After being made EU slaves yesterday, the village is in gloom. Cliff in the pub told us there’d be no more pints of wine. Jill in the village shop has retired to bed sobbing about no fish and clutching a bent banana. And unlike the EU, Bunty has closed her eGate to me. I BLAME STARMER! 😡

submitted 24 days ago • 79 comments

I’M FURIOUS! 😡 Labour cosying up to the EU. Not only will our sausages suffer but we could also lose: Our pints of wine Our 40 new hospitals Our freedom Our clams Our queues at border control Our freedom Our sunlit uplands The Britishness of our fish Our freedom & our freedom!🤬

submitted 25 days ago • 61 comments

Other candidates for Mayor of London: Aunt Middleton (SAS) Sadiq Khan (Lab) Susan Hall (No purse) Chaka Demus (Pliers) Ronnie Pickering (WHO) Huw Edwards (Jizz) Gary Lineker (Hamas) Mary Berry (Lemon Drizzle Cake) Andrew Teat (Toxic) Bonnie Blue (Anal Democrat) Liz Truss (Lettuce).

submitted 26 days ago • 23 comments

What to expect from #Eurovision tonight: Gushing Immoral songs about premarital sexual intercourse. Trans Drugs Lots of foreigners Teats Men resembling my nephew Roger. Glittery flaps Nul points The UK mocked That Norton idiot. I shall be listening to Elgar! #DefundtheBBC 😡

submitted 27 days ago • 37 comments

This slip of a lad. Has he: Cavorted with prostitutes? Secured a dodgy property deal? Read any tractor mags? Got 3 women pregnant? Exposed himself to an aide? He’s a callow youth. He’s not a politician. He’s playing at it. For proper councillors, VOTE CONSERVATIVE not Reform.

submitted 28 days ago • 30 comments

Dean our Paperboy asks me if I’ve heard of The Teat Brothers: Andrew & Tristan. He says his Mum has warned him off them as they’re toxic. She’s right I say. Two men hanging around topless in trackies unable to feed their poor hungry dog? That’s not toxic. That’s bloody stupid! 😳

submitted 29 days ago • 45 comments

#PMQs Kemi. This is what you call REAL leadership. 👇

submitted 30 days ago • 27 comments

So pleased Keir Starmer has joined The Tory Party with his ‘Island of Strangers’ speech. I’ve given him an Enoch Powell style moustache. Rather dashing don’t you think? What’s he saying next? Rivers of Blood? Get Brexit Done? Build Back Better? This Lady’s Not For Turning? 🇬🇧

submitted 31 days ago • 52 comments

Here! You going drinking down the Reform Pub? Looks like that Elvis Haaland of Man City drinks there. Bring along a friend…so long as they don’t have a foreign accent. Pints of wine & plenty of clams to eat, not to mention the gammon and chips. All served in imperial measures! Gertcha! 🇬🇧

submitted 32 days ago • 66 comments

Peter Mandelson has always been a shy, modest & unassuming sort of chap. Not the sort to mention his good looks and his many merits. Here he is on #Newsnight last night discussing his relationship with Donald Trump. Oh and erm also talking about his own good looks and merits.😬

submitted 34 days ago • 37 comments

This is our beloved Boris Johnson commemorating VE Day. PLEASE CARRIE!. You need to groom him. He’s beginning to look like: Jesse from ‘The Fast Show.’ Worzel Gummidge. Gloria Hunniford. Ron Stewart. That bloody plumber bloke who’s buggered off to Spain. I’m somewhat worried…😧

submitted 35 days ago • 48 comments

Oi Ed Miliband! We couldn’t do this with your bloody eco friendly heat pumps could we? 😡

submitted 36 days ago • 26 comments

Utterly disgusting behaviour by Prince Louis mocking Prince George his brother & our future King.😡 Our WW2 veterans must have been appalled by his lack of respect. They didn’t fight to see our Royal family behave like this. William & Kate are obviously soft leftist parents.😒

submitted 38 days ago • 74 comments

VE Day celebrations in the village today. Do come (unless you have a foreign accent!) Stalls include: Pin Harry on the Royal Balcony. Jill from the village shops’ Bouncy Castles. Hook a Nazi. Darren Grimes’ sock puppet show. Grow your own concrete. Best dressed Pope competition. 🇬🇧

submitted 39 days ago • 28 comments

Andrea Jenkyns should also sack: People with foreign accents Trans everybody Bearded teachers Ange Postecoglou The BBC Justin Beaver The RNLI Naga Ronnie Pickering Chaka Demus and Pliers Wrap musicians Vegans Cyclists Prince Harry All moths David Lummy The NHS Fisherthem Lulu Herself. 💪

submitted 39 days ago • 43 comments

submitted 41 days ago • 63 comments

We lost 676 council seats. We lost 16 councils. We gained only 15% of the general vote. This was a disaster for us Conservatives. Sorry Kemi but we need a new leader who is intelligent, respected & popular with the electorate. Now is the time for us to bring back LIZ TRUSS! 👏🇬🇧

submitted 41 days ago • 53 comments

This is a class act from a classy president. Donald Trump dressed up as the man whose funeral he attended just a few days ago is so tender, so beautiful. It will give solace to the millions of Catholics mourning their pope. A truly humane & humble act Thank you Mr President. ❤️🙏🏻

submitted 41 days ago • 43 comments

I honestly don’t understand why people dislike the fragrant new mayor of Lincolnshire Dame Andrea Jenkyns. Once you get to know her she is a bundle of laughs! Here she is being hilariously ‘ironic’ saying those with a foreign accent don’t come from this country. Oh ha ha ha! 😳

submitted 42 days ago • 107 comments

#CouncilElections Vote for REAL policies Vote for REAL people VOTE CONSERVATIVE! 🇬🇧 #Semi4Kemi

submitted 43 days ago • 28 comments