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stefanthinks.bsky.social
Joke attempter. Mildly annoying. Occasionally humorous. Just My Skeets: https://tinyurl.com/2pa3nwbn Bangers: https://tinyurl.com/4ccmk5zu
5,547 posts 13,364 followers 1,420 following
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Posts 48 Comments 2

cheers to the man who taught me to fix things with duct tape and denial

submitted 22 hours ago • 4 comments

me when my wife accuses me of jacking off to alf in the basement again

submitted 12 minutes ago • 0 comments

Y’all. I’m sorry to say but I think Gen X* is going to be worse than Boomers** *not you though, I’m sure you’re fine **definitely you, you suck

submitted 1 hour ago • 3 comments

this is actually what the monkey’s paw looks like when it curls

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

On today’s episode of “Those Dudes Knew Exactly What They Were Doing”…

submitted 1 hour ago • 2 comments

Epic prizes, you say?

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

I showed my dad the free 24 hour “This Old House” channel on Pluto. What are you doing for your dad today?

submitted 21 hours ago • 4 comments

Dad was gay. His partner's son taught me that eating pussy was a thing. I got pretty good at it. You just have to listen to their bodies.

submitted 2 hours ago • 15 comments

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

submitted 17 hours ago • 35 comments

You slide right in You seem so sweet You compliment me On my skeet Your wife doesn’t like you You’d like me to be next To see your worm And would I like to sext? No thank you, I say You fuss and you pout You no longer like me You slide back out

submitted 3 hours ago • 14 comments

minimalism is like what if stuff but no stuff

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

the moment you make me go an extra mile for anything is the moment you’ve made a sworn enemy

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

ME (a person who likes to lick stuff) YOU (a person who is made of stuff)

submitted 2 hours ago • 3 comments

probably need a hug. hug..e amount of cash.

submitted 5 hours ago • 2 comments

*puts father back into the attic*

submitted 2 hours ago • 1 comment

Truth, like the sun. The shadows are easier to gaze at.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I think I could marry someone with different spiritual beliefs but if they don't accept my music (the superior music) they are dead to me

submitted 2 hours ago • 1 comment

submitted 4 hours ago • 19 comments

We should be allowed to drink mimosas at our desks on Mondays to ease the misery

submitted 4 hours ago • 2 comments

This happens more often than I'd like to admit

submitted 13 hours ago • 4 comments

Only villains would call empathy a toxic trait.

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

There are a lot of terrible people in the world, but not returning a borrowed book is a special kind of evil.

submitted 16 hours ago • 20 comments

@pussyfullawasps.bsky.social I found these Trolli gummy popsicles, and for some reason, I thought you needed to know about them.

submitted 106 days ago • 5 comments

submitted 16 hours ago • 46 comments

submitted 13 hours ago • 2 comments

**ATTENTION EVERYONE. There is an opened pouch of applesauce somewhere in the house. The toddler is not saying where it is and the toddler parents cannot find it. Please keep an eye out.

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

*sees son sticking a plastic fork into a socket ME: Now that's not the way to conduct yourself! *I'm surrounded by dads who high five me forever

submitted 21 hours ago • 5 comments

those dogs playing poker just shit right on the floor

submitted 14 hours ago • 17 comments

I'm a cancer "Oh, so you're into astrology?" No

submitted 15 hours ago • 2 comments

an obvious pun is a dad joke because it's apparent

submitted 14 hours ago • 3 comments

I miss hating when my dad used to wake me up at 6 AM for breakfast.

submitted 15 hours ago • 1 comment

if you can't stand the dad jokes try to get father away

submitted 26 days ago • 15 comments

I pin a note to the kid’s t-shirt, and gently place him on the park bench. Taking another sip of coffee from my “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, I give him a final thumbs up, and walk to the parking lot. After five consecutive wins, it’s someone else’s time to shine. I start the car.

submitted 14 hours ago • 5 comments

The cola chemists for Coke and Pepsi should be called fizzicists

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

My dads favorite thing to do is to point at stuff he owns and ask me how much do i think he paid for it at costco

submitted 18 hours ago • 21 comments

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’ll be busy freaking out online

submitted 18 hours ago • 2 comments

me as a teenager: one day I hope I have my own apartment, a parrot, and a job in something genetics related me as a 30-something: (has my own apartment, a parrot, and a job in something genetics related) I am a pathetic fucking failure

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

object permanence must be so rad, tell me what it's like to not have 4 jars of horseradish in your fridge

submitted 14 hours ago • 22 comments

dad (looking out the window at the apocalypse): really comin down out there

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

me: did you put my pain ointment in the carry-on my bf: yes [later, @ airport] *bf arrested for packing heet™️*

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

So broke I buy groceries at Half Foods.

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

can someone give me $20,000, I need to buy Cheetos and then also have $19,994 leftover

submitted 15 hours ago • 25 comments

For Father's Day, i made trans porn just like your father used to watch

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

The paper is the only part of the fortune cookie I DO eat. If you don't eat the fortune it won't come true duh

submitted 22 hours ago • 6 comments

prog concept album called the love song of j alfred mathrock has anyone done this

submitted 15 hours ago • 2 comments

purgatory is just listening to duster for two weeks straight

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

i had a ceo once who used to say "it's not the eggs, it's the story of the chicken" and 25 years later i still don't know wtf he meant by that

submitted 2 days ago • 16 comments

related: it's boom-boom time in my neighborhood again

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments