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tasha-id.bsky.social
40 odd Y/O trans woman . Been in the cycling industry for 22 years . Trying to muddle my way through life. Hoping to heal and be me.
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Today I shall make cake!

I need to learn self care.

For everyone who had to read my self wolowing drivel last night . I'm sorry.

Life is empty for me. I struggle for no reason other than subconsciously sticking two fingers to a universe that needs me dead.

Fixed the door . Gone out to get pissed maybe more .

I'm tired . Wanted to do something nice for myself. Go on a self date. Instead I'm stuck in unable to leave the house. Serves me right for wanting to be selfish for once. Next I'll find out my gic will be cancelled.

So in 12 months I've gone from a 40inch waist down to a 34. Keeping up my daily cycle to work and good eating .

I just fucked up my day. Reminded myself of a song by kunt and the gang : perverts on the Internet. It's a proper ear worm and highly inappropriate for a retail job to be humming. Look it up and thank me later .

OK so odd thing happened to me last night . Went to shop with no makeup not dressed very feminine. Still had a very straight guy ask me if I wanted to go back to his. I declined (didn't no hin from adam) but somehow it felt ok . He was very polite and chatted first before asking.

Gic apointment in 10 days . So far not cancelled . Here's to keeping everything crossed.

I've not felt this for a long time : I feel horny . I feel the need for human sexual contact . Previously I just wanted to be cuddled or held.

I wanted to feel a little special after work. Wish some one would take me out on a date.

So what fun am I upto on a Sunday night? I'm in work building a bicycle diorama .

I hurt inside I see people who love each other. But don't know how to share it. I know how I would but I'm not them. I see how he looks at her . I see his love in his eyes. He loves her deeply but doesn't know what to do. I wish I could show him how to touch her heart in a new way.

Yey Friday.....no money....boooo.

Day off : 2 loads of laundry done. Bedding changed , food shop done. Cooked food and put in freezer and baked a cake . Think the bath was deserved .