Profile avatar
telemmier.bsky.social
31 posts 176 followers 298 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 43 Comments 6

the ravages of age ------------------ patreon.com/nhoj

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Has your butt been hurt? Was humour at fault? Here at Butthurt lawyers 4 U we can make humour never hurt your butt again.

submitted 10 hours ago • 4 comments

I can’t believe it’s Premature Ejaculation Awareness day already. It seems to come quicker every year.

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

I Yurt myself today To see if I still feel

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

morning

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Turning on my PC for the first time in two weeks

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

between the thorns digital, 2023

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

This is Percy. Sometimes his ears dip in his water bowl, but that’s okay. 12/10 would hold them back for him

submitted 2 days ago • 173 comments

Trip To Asia Gives Man New Understanding Of How Soup Can Be Breakfast theonion.com/trip-to...

submitted 2 days ago • 60 comments

If you're curious about screaming into the void but aren't sure if it's right for you, try one of our practice voids.

submitted 295 days ago • 3 comments

A Gift • 2021

submitted 660 days ago • 4 comments

The Pit • 2021

submitted 659 days ago • 8 comments

Report spam isn't enough I need to ruin their life

submitted 4 days ago • 13 comments

What is wisdom?

submitted 5 days ago • 19 comments

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Some of you have pets and don't post pictures of them often. You should be aware that this is a CRIME

submitted 6 days ago • 157 comments

Eurovision highlights

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

The Antlered Woman · 2021

submitted 495 days ago • 2 comments

Show other men you’re not sexual competition by paying for something with your Apple Watch.

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

not today, tomorrow

submitted 7 days ago • 8 comments

Just seen that I’m not in the Sunday times rich list again. Seems like again it’s not what you know but about how rich you are.

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Having a cob on by Antony Gormley.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

David Bowie's father: hey i have an idea why don't you reinvent yourself as somebody who mows the goddamn lawn

submitted 11 days ago • 58 comments

Sprouting · 2020

submitted 600 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 153 days ago • 17 comments

?

submitted 10 days ago • 17 comments

not a hollaback girl, but not yet a hollaback woman

submitted 11 days ago • 15 comments

Books are a total scam. Every single word is already in the dictionary—they’re just selling them back to you in a different order.

submitted 158 days ago • 182 comments

A reminder to those that may not have experienced Angstrom, it's a superb Scandi Noir starring Matthew Holness as Knut Ångström, a brooding, alcoholic, maverick Swedish detective from the tough streets of Oslo. By @gralefrit.bsky.social & @jasonhazeley.bsky.social www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand...

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

billions

submitted 11 days ago • 7 comments

Thank goodness the dogs were good again, I don't what we would do if they weren't!

submitted 15 days ago • 5 comments

'The Royal Standard', Bradford, by Frank Johnson, 1917-1998 (Leeds Art Gallery). #NorthernArt

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Calista Flockhart’s let herself go.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Imagine the party the conclave boys are going to throw tonight

submitted 16 days ago • 5 comments

The return of the greatest live band of their generation. Couldn’t be happier ✊❤️ Viva Augustines!

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Absolutely superb conditions today for saying ‘it doesn’t feel like a Tuesday.’ Say it early, say it often and just have fun with it. It’s a small talk goldmine and you’d be a fool not to get involved.

submitted 32 days ago • 6 comments

Yet again I'm thinking that the most viable plan for bands to make money is to release tracks called "damp" "subsidence" "tiny kitchen" etc in the hope that Homes Under the Hammer will use them in their hilarious literal soundtrack

submitted 18 days ago • 9 comments

This wrapping paper turns everything into bread 🥖 Created by Japanese designer Ippei Tsujio

submitted 19 days ago • 207 comments

Starting a conversation with you “oh hi, you barely stink of piss today.”

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

Pardon

submitted 19 days ago • 39 comments

A lot people are asking if I know what day it is today. Of course I know what day it is today. May the 4th is Michael Barrymore’s birthday 😎

submitted 20 days ago • 62 comments

my hand hovers over a tub of Sabra at the grocery store, then drifts away. i am immediately executed by a 200 million dollar Boston Dynamics gun platform

submitted 21 days ago • 14 comments

be kind, you never know what someone is facing. for example, I just had to go for a poo while knowing that a delivery driver was about to knock any minute

submitted 182 days ago • 6 comments